| Essay Fiction posted January 25, 2013 |
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Daddy 's acting mighty odd; recognize the symptoms?
Daddy Explodes
by Deniz22
“There’s something wrong with your father.”
“Mom, you’ve been saying that for years now.”
“This time it’s really bad. Something has to be done.”
“Okay, what’s he doing now that’s so different from the other times you’ve said the same thing?”
“He disappears upstairs in the computer room for hours.”
“So?”
“When he comes downstairs, he has a glazed look in his eyes.”
“So?”
“So he also talks funny, almost like a foreign language.”
“Oh, my goodness, oh no!”
“What? What ‘oh my goodness’?”
“Mom, think carefully now; does his ‘foreign language’ sound RUSSIAN?
“No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Oh, good! Dad’s actions remind me of my friend Bonnie’s experience. Her husband left her for a six foot tall Russian bride with one eye he found on line. It was awful! You and Dad are okay, right?”
“ Oh sure. He doesn’t like tall women anyway, not at five foot, three. And he’s not speaking an actual foreign language, it’s just strange. Like the other day, I wrote a note to Mille, and he read it over my shoulder. Next thing I know, he’s criticizing it like he’s some kind of note editor! Then he draws 3 stars at the top!”
“Hmmm. Strange; what else does he do?
“Well, he talks funny, like in rhyme. Then he’ll correct himself and try again.”
“Like how?”
“Well for instance, he takes the milk out and he’ll say, “Pour some white milk, drink it down like white silk.”
“Hmmm.”
“ Oh, it doesn’t stop there! Not at all! Next, he runs by all the words that might even come close to rhyming with milk. Ilk, bilk, trilk, hilk nilk, pilk ….”
“Mom, some of those words aren’t even English!”
“I know! Um ... they don’t sound RUSSIAN to you, do they?”
“Shhhh! Here he comes.”
“Hi Bill Honey!”
“Hi Daddy!”
“I have 500 fans! I was RECOGNIZED three times yesterday and today I am EXPLODING!”
“Mom, you’re right. Something has to be done!”
“There’s something wrong with your father.”
“Mom, you’ve been saying that for years now.”
“This time it’s really bad. Something has to be done.”
“Okay, what’s he doing now that’s so different from the other times you’ve said the same thing?”
“He disappears upstairs in the computer room for hours.”
“So?”
“When he comes downstairs, he has a glazed look in his eyes.”
“So?”
“So he also talks funny, almost like a foreign language.”
“Oh, my goodness, oh no!”
“What? What ‘oh my goodness’?”
“Mom, think carefully now; does his ‘foreign language’ sound RUSSIAN?
“No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Oh, good! Dad’s actions remind me of my friend Bonnie’s experience. Her husband left her for a six foot tall Russian bride with one eye he found on line. It was awful! You and Dad are okay, right?”
“ Oh sure. He doesn’t like tall women anyway, not at five foot, three. And he’s not speaking an actual foreign language, it’s just strange. Like the other day, I wrote a note to Mille, and he read it over my shoulder. Next thing I know, he’s criticizing it like he’s some kind of note editor! Then he draws 3 stars at the top!”
“Hmmm. Strange; what else does he do?
“Well, he talks funny, like in rhyme. Then he’ll correct himself and try again.”
“Like how?”
“Well for instance, he takes the milk out and he’ll say, “Pour some white milk, drink it down like white silk.”
“Hmmm.”
“ Oh, it doesn’t stop there! Not at all! Next, he runs by all the words that might even come close to rhyming with milk. Ilk, bilk, trilk, hilk nilk, pilk ….”
“Mom, some of those words aren’t even English!”
“I know! Um ... they don’t sound RUSSIAN to you, do they?”
“Shhhh! Here he comes.”
“Hi Bill Honey!”
“Hi Daddy!”
“I have 500 fans! I was RECOGNIZED three times yesterday and today I am EXPLODING!”
“Mom, you’re right. Something has to be done!”
“Mom, you’ve been saying that for years now.”
“This time it’s really bad. Something has to be done.”
“Okay, what’s he doing now that’s so different from the other times you’ve said the same thing?”
“He disappears upstairs in the computer room for hours.”
“So?”
“When he comes downstairs, he has a glazed look in his eyes.”
“So?”
“So he also talks funny, almost like a foreign language.”
“Oh, my goodness, oh no!”
“What? What ‘oh my goodness’?”
“Mom, think carefully now; does his ‘foreign language’ sound RUSSIAN?
“No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Oh, good! Dad’s actions remind me of my friend Bonnie’s experience. Her husband left her for a six foot tall Russian bride with one eye he found on line. It was awful! You and Dad are okay, right?”
“ Oh sure. He doesn’t like tall women anyway, not at five foot, three. And he’s not speaking an actual foreign language, it’s just strange. Like the other day, I wrote a note to Mille, and he read it over my shoulder. Next thing I know, he’s criticizing it like he’s some kind of note editor! Then he draws 3 stars at the top!”
“Hmmm. Strange; what else does he do?
“Well, he talks funny, like in rhyme. Then he’ll correct himself and try again.”
“Like how?”
“Well for instance, he takes the milk out and he’ll say, “Pour some white milk, drink it down like white silk.”
“Hmmm.”
“ Oh, it doesn’t stop there! Not at all! Next, he runs by all the words that might even come close to rhyming with milk. Ilk, bilk, trilk, hilk nilk, pilk ….”
“Mom, some of those words aren’t even English!”
“I know! Um ... they don’t sound RUSSIAN to you, do they?”
“Shhhh! Here he comes.”
“Hi Bill Honey!”
“Hi Daddy!”
“I have 500 fans! I was RECOGNIZED three times yesterday and today I am EXPLODING!”
“Mom, you’re right. Something has to be done!”
 Recognized |
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What Bill has may be contagious. Perhaps you should wear a small recorder. Check it periodically to see if you are mumbling Fanese ...if you are, you have it. There is no cure ... why not write about it? I did. :)
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