Evolution v Creationism sounds like something the Pope and his crew should be pondering; that is way above my pay grade. I mean debating whether life originated from a universal common ancestor approximately 3.8 billion years ago, versus all things were created, substantially as they now exist, by an omnipotent creator, makes my head want to explode. Although the evolution thing might go a long way in explaining a lot in my family tree, e.g. why Aunt Oni has extra long arms and Aunt Bert has a continuous five o'clock shadow. Little ripple in the DNA I would suspect, which harkens back to our tree dwelling ancestors. None appear to have prehensile tails, though or at least that I have witnessed. Although, there is one cousin I have never really been quite sure about.

How we got here is less important than why the hell we are here in the first place, as we seem to have managed to gum the works up pretty damn good in a fairly short period of time, according to the space-time continuum.

Let's see, we have fouled the air to the extent that in some urban areas it must be chewed and swallowed rather than inhaled. We have thinned the ozone layer to where it looks like a piece of Swiss cheese and we have managed to contribute to the overall raising of the temps in the seas, to the point of zapping the pack ice into convenient cubes. Polar Bears will have to adapt to climate equivalent to that of Barbados and people living in the desert states will have beach front property. Not to mention that we all now glow in the dark from eating mercury laden fish. Just try to spin this one my spin doctor friends and tell me this isn't really a list of major cataclysmic fuckups.

This kind of kicks the 'omnipotent creator' in the head, wouldn't you say? I mean this cat is not taking care of business or he would see that his creation has turned into a hot mess. He may be into hands off parenting, but I would say this constitutes a clear case of abandonment. We have apparently been given way too much latitude to do our thing and not nearly enough brain power to carry it off.

I just want to understand, without a pilgrimage to India, why life as we know it is such a random bit of improvisation. There really doesn't seem to be anyone at the helm most of the time. In musician speak, life gives us a few good riffs, but there are a lot of sour notes in between the good and sweet notes. Granted we have latitude to create a lot of our own music, but there are also prearranged scores that are preprogrammed to play for us, through no choice of our own.

We are constantly told that life is forward motion and fluid in its rhythm, yet it seems wisdom and understanding are only gained in retrospect.

It was Kierkegaard who said: "It is perfectly true, as philosophers say, that life must be understood backwards. But they forget the other proposition, that it must be lived forwards."

Pretty screwed up system if you ask me. We're told that loss, tragedy and Karmic downturns in general should be viewed as opportunities to grow and become more enlightened. Oh yes, we can carry all of that wonderful enlightenment into the next five minutes of positive upturn and relish it, just prior to hitting the skids again to gain more of the same. I'm sorry to be "Debbie Downer" here, but after many decades of tsunami riding, I wouldn't mind arriving on a placid lake somewhere. One that is so calm and smooth it appears to be a giant mirror. In other words if life never rocked my boat again, I would be one happy camper.

My good buddy Soren (Kierkegaard that is) also said: "Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth - look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment."

This may have been a down day for the old boy, but I have to say he's on to something here. Are we really so certain that life is supposed to be a magic carpet ride or the 'Ode to Joy'?
I mean the pleasure pain thing gets way too much hype in my opinion.

Perhaps, in this day and age, we can be open to a mixed cocktail of say, Creative Evolution or a facsimile thereof. A little 'elan vital' (vital impetus), which was Henri Bergson's postulation. He basically said that 'elan vital' was a force like gravity or electromagnetism and like these and other physical phenomenon, its origin cannot be explained. The fact that his hypothesis was abandoned does not need to dampen our spirits to find middle ground.

I personally can see where a good deal of 'vital impetus' is apparent in our DNA. Although I do feel there needs to be serious uptake in the evolutionary process, in order to get us past our savage propensity for killing one another and systematically destroying the planet. Otherwise, if there proves to be an actual creator, then he should start thinking about wiping the slate clean and starting all over again. According to the Bible he got ticked off once, hence Noah and the ark. However, we are in such piss poor shape at this stage, he will need to do something more than flood the place. Maybe he is up to doing that seven day thing all over again and this time making sure he minds the store.

Being from the generation where the movement started (Women's that is), I came to believe that God could easily be a woman. However, looking around and seeing how things are being run, or not, as the case may be, I am certain no woman would allow this planet to get in such awful shape. Women are much too anal and prone to making lists and organizing to let a thing like this happen. Nope, you make a woman a deity and brother she will damn sure have everyone hopping.

This has been my quirky look at a very large 'supersize me' subject. I'm sure creationists have fallen to their knees and are praying, either for my soul or my swift destruction as the anti-Christ. While the Darwinian folks are hyperventilating into paper bags over what they see as total and complete convolution of their master theory.

Now that I have sufficiently unnerved the masses, I will 'exit stage left', but I would like to leave you with some parting words, once again, from one of our father's of existentialism, Soren Kierkegaard, as this erudite gentleman had some heavy duty shit to lay on us. I think the following quote pretty much says it all.

"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."