Island Paradise ?

Ignacio ran - the first to claim the soft sand. He sprinted towards a clump of trees, dropped his shorts and urinated. Splashing water sounded, a steam cloud ascending.

Sean sat them down under the shade of acacia trees and gave basic instructions for their next few days. The orange life-raft became their sleeping quarters, on a grassy area covered in Cogon grass that Sean and Ignacio flattened under some Acacia trees for shade.

"Staying for periods in the shade after noon is important" Sean said," the sun will be scorching hot. The temperature soars to 32 degrees Celsius or 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Sun-cream is limited, so use wet mud if you feel your skin is burning. De-hydration is our real danger and will be until the still is set up" Sean said. "I'll demonstrate that afterwards. Sea-water or urine must not be drunk, however desperate."

"Yes, Sir," Rachel mocked a salute. "Did you book this honeymoon all by yourself?"

"Pissing or shitting is not aloud near the camp", Sean said, eye-balling Ignacio while Rachel translated and it dawned upon him.

"No sheet...no pees," Iggy said.

"I'll take Ignacio and we'll build latrines. Urine scent attracts rats which attract snakes. Faeces bring flies which carry diseases."

Rachel appeared worried at the thought of snakes. Sean stressed that many snakes were harmless but there could be poisonous snakes the island. The party had no anti-venom, so avoiding danger was critical.

"But we have the bat phone, right, Sweetie?" Rachel pointed to the dingy. "We can always phone home like ET."

"Fone home, ET fone home," Iggy mimicked. He knew some English.

"Nobody must enter the forest area or sea alone, and not walk barefoot." Sean said. "Animals will not attack unless a person makes a threat. Insects and snakes could be more likely to bite a naked foot. Corals, spiky fish, jelly fish, rocks, all can injure so nothing must be eaten unless I approve. There are poisonous plants, fungi and bacteria."

"This honeymoon gets worse and worse," Rachel rubbed her eyes feigning tears, "Can we go back?"

"I'll light a fire, showing everyone how to use matches, kinder and twigs," Sean showed some matches; as Rachel interpreted for Ignacio, he patted his chest, showing surprise. "I guess he must have lit a few on the streets."

"The fire must be kept alive at all times. If the fire goes out and all our matches used up, we'll use magnifying glass or flint to re-light the fire."

"You light my fire, "Rachel said, feigning a tease, and blowing a kiss.

Sean announced that the first priority was drinking water. "We have a few water cans with the Emergency Survival Kit", Sean said, "and some tablets that could purify water if it's needed. Any rain can be collected and drained into the spare water bag, but if we have too much rain we could be in the shit."

Hearing this Rachel tutted, "language, Mr. Casey", and wagged her finger. Ignacio laughed at Sean's mock bow.

The start of the monsoon season could bring massive challenges.

Sean took the solar- powered water desalinator and showed it to his yawning audience. Then he took a pocket guide out of his pocket and passed it to Rachel. "The SAS survival guide can show you what to eat, what snakes are dangerous and how to find water. There's water in fruit and vegetables. Most healthy adults need between one and a half to three litres a day. You can judge whether you're drinking enough by the colour of your urine. If it's a pale straw colour then your fluid intake is probably fine. If your urine is dark yellow, you probably need to drink more."

When Rachel translated Ignacio said aloud, "no sheet, no peese." Once Sean had shown Rachel and Iggy how to operate the still, Rachel took the bucket to the edge of the tide-water and brought it back filled.

"It's like playing with buckets and spades at Western on Sea with my mum and dad," Rachel had joy written all over her face.

"Well I know you're Bristol born and savvy, but from what I remember there are no wild animals at Western on Sea. There is a proliferation of wild animals here and some can be very dangerous." Sean said.

"You're a real party poop sometimes, Mr. Casey but don't worry, I have Iggy to protect me." She laughed and then Sean laughed. When it translated Ignacio beat his chest.