First I would like to say how sorry I am. I am really very sorry. I didn't want to kill those women. I had to kill them. I couldn't go back to jail, not again. I did feel sorry for them. Especially the last one. Tracy was very special to me, and I won't soon forget her. Do you want to know what happened to Tracy? Of course you do, you're just like me after all, except you lack the courage. That's okay, I don't mind helping you.

Tracy was a mom I met at my nephew's soccer game. She was about five foot five inches tall with the softest brown hair. Very attractive, kind of mousey Italian looking, with light brown eyes, and well tanned skin. She looked about a hundred and ten pounds. Once she came to the soccer game and she was wearing a beautiful skirt suite, she must have just came from work. It was a soft brown suede and she had theses black nylon stockings that disappeared under her skirt. When she sat on the grass in front of me, she sat Indian style, and as she spoke to me it was all I could do to avert my eyes from her thighs. They were milky creamy and there were these little black lacey straps that attached from the stockings to god knows where. She was pure electricity.

She didn't deserve what happened. I tried to talk myself out of it. I really did. I promised myself last time that I wouldn't do it again, but it was my birthday and I wanted to give myself a present. I deserve it after all. Don't I?
I do feel bad about it though. I'm truly very sorry Tracy. I hope you know.

Tracy told me she had recently divorced her husband and she was dating her boss, who was a Jewish lawyer. I imagined that she had an affair with her boss. That one day she went to work in that suede skirt suit, and that lawyer couldn't keep his eyes off of her milky thighs, as she sat across from him, helping him in the late evening, going over some files. Guess he felt entitled to help himself, maybe it was his birthday.

I'm not trying to justify what happened, but my mom had an affair with her Jewish boss. My dad found out, and they got divorced. My mom was a very beautiful woman, not unlike Tracy. Ruined my family, but hey stuff happens.
It wasn't anyone's fault right? Maybe it was someone's birthday.

Tracy lived in a big house with her nine year old son. The same age as my nephew. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but someone should know. I watched the house for a while. Tracy was alone. I waited for her son to go to sleep. His room was on the left side of the low ranch with the front window. I had been watching the house for a few days, so I knew where Tracy's room was. I checked the front door several times and it was always locked. The back door too. I kept waiting for the opportune moment, but it never came.

I wanted her so bad, I couldn't wait anymore. It was four o'clock in the morning when I drove up the driveway to her home. I got out of the car and grabbed my Louisville slugger. I went up to the front door and I kicked it in. I went to her bedroom and she was in bed sleeping. I struck her in the head and knocked her unconscious. I grabbed her by her hair and dragged her from the house. I put her in handcuffs and threw her in the trunk of my car.

I can remember the way the adrenaline coursed through my veins. I was so excited. I was soon going to reap the rewards of all my hard labor. I drove of to the seclusion of the woods in upstate New York. You would be surprised how nice a woman can be to you when her life lies in the balance. I let her out of the car and she came with my willingly. I grabbed the blanket and some wine and cheese I had packed. I gave her some ibuprofen for the pain.

I told her if she did as I asked I would let her live. Of course I knew I couldn't do that. We made sweet love for hours. I picked up the bat when we were finished, and she knew what I had to do. She begged me for her life. She wanted to live so much. It was difficult. Probably the most difficult thing I ever did. I struggled with it so much. I wish she would have just been quiet.
She begged for her life for her son Bobby. I can't even say this without swallowing my tears. I looked around at the beauty of the mountains. The mist had settled into them. We were alone in a quiet lonely way.

It was over quickly, four, or five swings. I can't remember. I buried Tracy in a shallow grave, and I promised myself it was the last time. I believe it will be, the last time.