The Red Dress chapter thirty

 Carla’s parents were waiting for her when she arrived at the airport. They had thought about phoning her when Alan had the accident, but nobody expected him to make it through the next forty-eight hours when she was due back, so they thought it best to tell her when she arrived.
 
     They now regretted that decision because Carla mistook them shielding her from the pain of Alan's possible death as them not considering her feelings. She would have wanted to be at his bedside whatever the outcome. Her mother filled her in as best she could on the way to the hospital.
 
     “I’m sorry, Carla, but they don't expect Alan to make it. He's on life support at the moment, and he hasn't regained consciousness since the accident. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s not looking good.”
 
Carla felt awful because she hadn't been there sooner. She was sure she could have done something. The thought that Alan might have died before she got home made her feel even worse. When her parents told her about Mike, and the fact that Alan being over the limit had probably been a contributory factor in the accident, she couldn’t believe it.
 
     “That’s nonsense! Alan doesn't drink and drive, and he hates people who do. There must be some mistake.”
 
Her father interrupted her. He had been so disappointed when the police had confirmed that Alan had been drinking.
 
     “Well, I'm afraid it's true, Carla, so you can imagine how Mike's parents are feeling.”
 
     She felt as if they were talking about a stranger, not Alan. If it had been the other way round, and Mike had been driving, she would have believed it. She had seen Mike pour drinks the size of trebles and knock them back, but she couldn't believe it of Alan, he just wasn't that irresponsible.
 
     When they got to the hospital, she went straight up to intensive care where she found Alan hooked up to various monitors looking grey and deathlike. She held his hand and talked to him lovingly, but she got no response. Her parents watched helplessly as Carla tried to think of something to bring him back to life, telling him she was back, and everything was going to be fine. After an hour, one of the nurses came in to take Alan's readings and seemed relieved to see her. She knew Alan had to have a girlfriend somewhere, because he had called out for her often.
 
     “I'm so glad you’re here,” she said to Carla as she took Alan's blood pressure. “He kept calling for you when he came in. That’s all he kept saying, over and over again.”
 
Carla looked back at her, willing her to carry on.
 
     “'Lisa,' he shouted. 'Where are you?' It broke everyone's heart to hear him. But you’re here now, that’s all that matters."
 
Carla felt numb. Who the hell was Lisa? She looked over at the nurse, feeling like a fool.
 
     “Are you sure he said Lisa? My name is Carla…”
 
The nurse coloured up immediately when she realised her mistake in thinking Carla was the one he had called for. She didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings, so she pretended to have gotten it wrong.
 
     “Now you come to mention it, I think it was Carla-- silly me, it must have been Lisa with the last fella we had in this bed.”
 
The nurse scuttled out of the room as fast as she could. Carla was relieved, although not entirely convinced, but she put the nurse's first words to the back of her mind, preferring to believe the second version of her story.
 
     By the time Alan's parents came into his room, Carla had resigned herself to the fact that Alan probably wasn't going to make it. She had spoken to his doctor- and he had been brutally honest. If he was going to die, she would stay by his side until the end.
 
     Alan's parents seemed to have aged ten years since the last time Carla had seen them, and Kathy Turner looked as though she hadn't slept in days. They were so glad to see her; it brought tears to her eyes.
 
     “I'm sure he'll regain consciousness hearing your voice, Carla,” his mother said, desperately clutching at straws.
 
If what the doctor had told Carla was true, that was unlikely to happen. He had tried to prepare her for the worst, and the only morsel of hope he had given her was “Where there's life, there's hope.” Not much, but she clung on to that thought while she sat for hours by his bed. She even slept in the chair by his bed all night, taking his hand when she awoke, willing him to live and talking to him about anything she could think about.
 
     The next morning the staff changed with the early shift and Carla watched the sun coming up over Chelmsford. She thought Alan looked better than the night before, more rested, and she convinced herself that she had done some good.
 
     By the time his parents came back in at eleven o'clock, the nurses said his vital signs were stronger, and they all waited impatiently while the doctor examined him. When he came back to the relatives' room, where they were waiting, he had a huge smile on his face. He sat down and spoke to Carla and Alan's parents reassuringly.
 
     “Now I don't want to get your hopes up too much, but there has been a marked improvement in Alan's condition overnight.”
 
 Alan's mother started weeping, which set Carla off as well. Jack Turner looked earnestly at the doctor.
 
     “Do you think Alan might pull through?”
 
The doctor hesitated before answering. He had been there all too often before.
 
     “I think we have to see a lot more improvement before I can answer that question with conviction, but he is trying to breathe on his own, which is always encouraging in cases like this.”
 
All three of them were beaming like Cheshire cats. Twenty-four hours before there was no hope, and now there was some- that was enough for them.
 
     Carla sat at Alan's bedside for the rest of the day until the doctor insisted she went home for some real sleep. Her parents stayed approximately thirty miles outside Chelmsford, and Alan's father offered to drive her home. She refused, because she didn't want to be so far away, just in case Alan had a turn for the worse. Jack pulled out Alan's flat keys, which the hospital had given him for safe keeping after Alan was admitted.
    
     “Here, lass, go back to Alan's flat. It's only ten minutes down the road. If anything happens, we’ll call you.”
 
Carla gratefully took the keys because she was exhausted.
 
     “How will you contact me if there's any change? There's not a phone in the flat is there?” she asked, worried that she wouldn't be there if she was needed.
 
Alan's father thought for a moment.
 
     “Haven't you got a mobile?” he asked, naively believing everyone over the age of twelve had one.
 
Carla shook her head. It had been a bone of contention with her parents when she had been away in Spain. It was far too expensive.
 
     “I wish, but my parents didn't want me to have one, it costs a fortune to phone a mobile abroad.”
 
Kathy thought for a moment.
 
     “Where's Alan's mobile?" She asked. “Surely Carla can use that?”
 
Jack didn't know. He had only been given the keys to Alan’s flat.
 
     “I don't know, love, it wasn't on him when he was brought to the hospital, and the police gave me everything out of the car. It must still be at the flat. Typical, he can't even have it on him when he has a bloody accident.”
 
 
 
 
     It was after eleven when Jack dropped Carla off at the flat. He offered to come up with her, but she could see he was anxious to get back to Alan at the hospital. She patted Jack's arm reassuringly before she got out of the car.
 
     “Don't worry, I'll have a good night's sleep, and I'll do the night shift tomorrow,” she decided, before giving him an affectionate peck on the cheek.
 
 Jack was grateful. The last few days had been the worst in his life. He watched until Carla was safely inside the flat and he could see the lights were turned on before he drove away.
 
     It was strange walking into a flat she'd never seen before. Alan had described it to her in his emails, and during a couple of his infrequent phone calls from his parents' house. It was exactly as he'd described it, small, and fairly untidy. There were two dirty glasses on the coffee table in the living room, and Carla remembered what her father had said about Alan being over the limit at the time of the crash. She took them into the kitchen and put them in the sink. She looked in what she assumed was Mike's bedroom first, then hastily shut the door. She hadn't known Mike well, but the thought of his death, and the fact that it might have been Alan's fault, sent a shiver down her spine.
 
     Carla recognised Alan's room immediately from the way he’d  described it, and was amazed to find it so tidy. Her last letter lay on the bed, and she imagined him lying there reading it, looking forward to her return. True to form, his mobile lay on the bed as well. It was dead and needed charging, so she plugged it into the charger before collapsing exhausted on the bed.
 
     It was well after eleven the next day when Carla woke up. She'd slept on Alan's side of the bed, taking in the faint smell of his after-shave on the sheets, but she had also smelt a sweeter scent, and nearly got up to marry the smell up with the bottles on his dressing table. Eventually she gave up because she was too tired to investigate further.
 
     Carla realised that in her haste to plug the phone into the charger, she hadn't actually turned it on, but she was sure that if Alan's parents had needed to contact her, they knew where she was and would have come for her.  
 
      Carla showered and dressed as quickly as she could and picked up a cab at the bottom of the street to take her back to the hospital. When she got there, she wished she had brought the charged mobile phone with her, because she would have to phone her Dad to bring her fresh clothes. Then she remembered that mobiles weren't allowed in hospital, so forgot all about it.
 
    Alan was even better than the day before, and he was now off life support. He was still in a coma, which was causing concern because the doctors couldn't tell if he had any brain damage, but his parents went home happier than they had in nearly a week.
 
     Carla spent most of the day talking to Alan and stroking his hand. She tried without result to get some response from him. Everything she said seemed to disappear into the unresponsive abyss of his brain. When his parents called in later on, they offered to stay with him again that night, but she could see they were both exhausted, and the staff nurse had said they would give her a blanket and some pillows to make her more comfortable.
 
     She woke as she had on the first two nights to the sound of rattling trolleys being brought onto the ward at six thirty. She looked over at Alan, who hadn't moved all night, and noticed his hand twitching. Suddenly his whole body started convulsing and she ran for the nurse who had already been alerted by the monitors.
 
     “What's happening?” Carla cried, as the nurse pressed the button by Alan's bed for assistance.
 
Alan's body was shaking uncontrollably, his head thrown back.
 
     “It looks worse than it is,” the nurse told her calmly. “He's having an epileptic fit. It's quite common after accidents involving a fractured skull, but don't worry, it'll soon be over...”
 
 
 
 
Alan had managed to catch up with Lisa. She was still wearing the red dress, and he put his hand on her shoulder swinging her around to face him. She looked at him blankly before she tried to turn away.
 
     “Lisa, it's me, Alan,” he cried.
 
Lisa shook her head. He pulled her to him, smelling her perfume as he tried to take her in his arms. Over her shoulder he saw Mike who was holding his hand out to her.
 
     “You're too late, mate,” he shouted. “She's coming with me…”
 
Alan watched as she pulled away from him and started walking towards Mike. She looked back at him over her shoulder until eventually, she disappeared into a swirling fog…
 
 
     Carla watched in horror as the convulsions racked Alan's body, and unable to watch any more, she escaped to the relatives' room leaving the nurses to do their job. Was this what it was going to be like for Alan if he pulled through? She sat and wept thinking how Alan would hate that kind of existence. She also searched her heart, wondering if she loved him enough to see him through it. She guiltily thought about Peter, the guy she had been seeing in Spain until Alan had come over on holiday. It had started as friendship, and turned into something a lot more, but when she realised they were falling in love, she had told him she couldn't see him again. She knew Alan was the one for her, and there couldn't be anyone else...
 
     The doctor came to find her after he examined Alan.
 
     “It's all over, Carla. The nurses should be finished in a few minutes, if you want to go back in.”
 
Carla asked him how often these fits were likely to happen, but he didn't seem to know for sure.
 
     “This is the second one he's had since the accident, but it's not surprising given the head trauma. He might have dozens more, or none at all. He won't be able to carry on a normal life for some time- assuming he comes out of the coma.”
 
Carla put her head in her hands, and for the first time since she'd arrived, gave in to the heartbreak she felt.
 
 
 
 
     By Thursday, Lisa had lost all hope. The following day was exactly a week since she'd left, and Alan still hadn't turned on his phone. She tried his number once more, only to hear the usual message. She knew she was making herself ill, and she tried to pull herself together, but she had to know one way or another. She decided that if Alan didn't turn his phone on by the end of Friday, she would beg a lift with one of the girls who were going back to London for the weekend, and use her return ticket to Chelmsford. Lisa realised that by doing that, she could damage Alan and Carla's relationship, but she was past caring. She didn't deserve the way Alan had treated her, so why should she care about them. If it was over, she had to hear him say it, in the same way as he had said it had to be done with Carla- face to face.
 
    
 
     Friday seemed to drag on and on. Lisa didn't want to try the phone too early because she knew in her heart of hearts that what she was going to hear, she couldn't bear. She felt better having decided to go back to Chelmsford and see Alan because, if nothing else, she could close a chapter in her life and start again. At seven thirty she at last picked up the phone and rang Alan's number. As she expected, it was still switched off.
 
 
 
Carla was exhausted. It had been a long night, and day. The consultant had given her hope in one way, and dashed it in another. By the time Alan's parents arrived just after seven, she just wanted to go back to Alan's flat and sleep for as long as she could.
 
     Jack dropped Carla off at Alan's flat at quarter to eight, and promised to phone Alan’s mobile if there was any change in his condition, so she went straight to his room and turned on the already charged mobile. She then went through to the bathroom to run a bath.
 
     While she was waiting for the bath to fill, Carla poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle in the fridge, and grabbed the portable CD player. This was the first chance she'd had to relax since she’d got back, and she was going to enjoy it. She thought she heard something over the music while she lay soaking and sat up to listen, but decided it must be the background accompaniment to the music playing on the C D player, so she lay back in the bath and closed her eyes…
 
    
     Lisa tried Alan's mobile number at eight thirty and nearly dropped the phone- it was ringing! All thoughts of telling Alan what she thought of him left her head as she clutched the phone, waiting for him to answer. It rang and rang, then eventually went dead, so she slammed the phone down, tears of frustration springing into her eyes. 
 
     “You bastard!” she said to the phone, thinking Alan was playing games with her. She sat on the bed and looked at the phone as though it had become her enemy.
 
     Five minutes later it rang, and she raced across the room and grabbed it. She waited to hear Alan's voice apologising, explaining- but it was her father, phoning to see how she was getting on.
 
     After a couple of minutes he realised she wasn't saying much, and asked if she was all right. Bitter tears were rolling down Lisa's cheeks while her father was talking to her, and she was scared to answer him in case he could hear their silent journey down her face.
 
     “You sound as though you have a cold, Lisa,” he eventually said.
 
She tried to clear her throat. “Yes Dad, I have- I was going to have an early night.”
 
He told her to wrap up warm, get to bed, and then told her how much they were all missing her before he said goodbye.
 
     Lisa sat staring at the phone, willing it to ring, assuming that her call would be registered as a missed call on Alan's mobile.
 Surely he would be able to retrieve it, if he wanted to. All evening she waited, until she couldn't bear waiting any longer. At half past nine she decided to try one last time.
 
     Lisa was shaking when she picked up the phone, still unsure of what she was going to say to Alan if he answered. It rang several times before at last it was picked up…
 
Carla felt much better after her bath, and went to the fridge and poured another glass of wine. She heard a ringing noise coming from the bedroom, and realising it was Alan's mobile, her heart missed a beat. It was the same ringing noise she thought she'd heard when she was in the bath. What if something had happened to Alan? She ran through to the bedroom and pressed the green button.
 
     “Alan?”
 
It was a girl's voice at the other end, and Carla was just relieved it wasn't Alan's father phoning to give her bad news.
 
     “No, I'm sorry, it's not Alan. It's his fiancée, Carla. Can I help you?”
 
There was silence at the other end, but Carla could still hear someone breathing.
 
      “Who's calling?” she asked impatiently.
 
There was a moment's hesitation at the other end before the girl quietly answered “nobody.” Then she hung up.....