Brief History of the Old Testament

"I've nothing planned this week," God said.
"I'll start a project in my shed."
"It's dark in there. Let there be light.
Hey, I've created Day and Night."

He made the sky and earth and seas
And dressed His world with plants and trees.
"I like the way the job's begun,
I'll just whip up stars, moon and sun."

"Some things to swim and fly and crawl,
One in my image to cap it all;
A universe in six days flat!
I'll need a day off after that."

Eve and Adam had it nice,
But blew their chance at Paradise.
God sent more troubles to afflict 'em
One son a killer, one a victim.

God saved Noah, his family too,
By having them build a floating zoo.
The Tower of Babel was rising quick
Till God pulled off a language trick.

Though Abraham was growing old
He'd start a family, he was told.
Isaac was the son so nice
That Abe was set to sacrifice.

Then God sent fire and brimstone rains
To scorch the cities of the plains,
But Lot escaped, he did a bolt,
His wife looked back, turned into salt.

Jacob and Esau fought a lot
J took his twin for all he'd got
He married Leah, Rachel too,
They bred a family, quite a crew.

Now Joseph made his brothers mad
They hatched a plot and sold the lad.
The Pharaoh had a dream one day
And Joseph solved it right away

"Those seven cows mean seven years
At first of riches, then of tears."
The tribes of Israel did begin
When Joseph welcomed back his kin.

When Moses floated down the Nile
His life was saved in royal style
But later, God gave him a push
When speaking from a burning bush.

Then "Let our people go!" he cried,
But his request was oft denied
Though God sent pestilence and plague
The Pharoah still remained quite vague

But God was sticking to his guns
He wiped out all the first-born sons.
To show his chosen ones he cared
The Hebrew families were all spared.

Without a sign of fight or fuss
The Jews began their Exodus.
Through parted seas their way they found;
Pursuing soldiers all were drowned.

To Moses, up the Mount alone,
God gave ten laws all carved in stone.
The tribes of Israel, through the sand,
At last had reached their Promised Land.

The walls of Jericho stood tall
Till Joshua marched and made them fall.
From Samson, Philistines all fled,
Till cruel Delilah shaved his head

Goliath would have done okay
Slam dunking in the NBA;
Nine feet tall and strong and stout,
But David's sling shot took him out.

King Solomon had wives galore
And wisdom oozed from every pore.
"Let's cut the babe in half," said he;
"That's sure to prove maternity."

When plagued with boils, Job said to God,
"Your plan for me seems rather odd."
Though he was tested more and more,
He still stayed faithful to God's law

Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
Strolled from the furnace, cool as snow,
While Daniel showed his faith and then,
Unscathed, walked from the lion's den.

When his mission was not followed,
Jonah by a whale was swallowed
(Who tells his mates unto this day,
"Should see the one that got away!")

Assorted prophets sing God's praise
While telling of the end of days;
And one will come who'll start a fire,
From Hebrew stock, a great Messiah.

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God's Word I've shortened quite a bit
To give you just the gist of it.
As you can see, this 'Book' of mine
Must span the words of thirty-nine.

And still there is, I'm sure you know,
Another Testament to go.
The sequel's great, as good as gold,
The Greatest Story Ever Told