| Humor Non-Fiction posted April 25, 2009 | Chapters: |
...32 33 -34- 35... 
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A mishap before a rehearsal supper
A chapter in the book Chasing the Elusive Dream
Wedding Thrills and Spills
by BethShelby
It was the day before my son's wedding, and I was posting red alerts and pushing panic buttons. Disorganized to begin with, I had fallen into my habitual pattern of procrastination. My soon-to-be daughter-in-law wanted the rehearsal supper in our home rather than a restaurant or church recreation room. I figured I could handle it, and there was no point in catering a small supper.
My soon-to-be daughter-in-law mailed out the invitations, but failed to mention, until the last minute, she had invited between sixty and seventy-five people. Her invitations were open-ended with things like "Bring your family if you like. I'm sure it will be fine with my mother-in-law." There was no RSVP, so how many would actually come was anyone's guess. My house is fairly large, but I had never had over twelve people in it before. I imagined people in every room and hanging off the rooftops.
It was two o'clock in the afternoon with the supper scheduled for six. I was in the midst of inflating balloons and hanging streamers when I got a phone call from my son saying he had invited everyone over early to go on a hike. And no, he couldn't call and rescind the invitation because they were already on their way.
My husband can take just so much of my "freaking out" before developing a splitting headache. This gives him permission, or so he thinks, to go into hiding. He grabbed an old beat-up coffee pot and a hot plate, and headed for our upstairs bedroom. Figuring no room would be off-limits once the mob arrived, I grabbed the offensive pot and attempted to shove inside the vanity cabinet. In the process, I spilled coffee all over my white carpet. Snatching a bar of soap and a towel, I tried to wipe up the spill, but in my haste, I left the carpet slippery from wet soap.
At this point, Hubby tried to retreat to the master bath. Unfortunately, his unshod feet found the soapy spot just before stepping onto the ceramic tile. In an instant, both feet went airborne and his bony hip came crashing down with a sickening thud on the hard floor. My worst nightmare had come true. In the process of falling, he had fractured a hip, and the arriving guests were already ringing my doorbell.
I am the kind of person who sputters and pops like a case of firecrackers during minor crisis, but when something major happens, I suddenly become a rock. Nothing can shake me. Of course, I was probably in shock because I don't remember most of it. But with the help of 911, (called because we couldn't move him down the sharp angled staircase) and one daughter, who was happy to get out of serving, we managed to get him to the hospital.
Incidentally, 911, in spite of being informed we needed only one ambulance, sent two police cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck, all with sirens blazing. This brought all the neighbors from several blocks out on the street to see what was happening. He was transported down three-landing stairway politely greeting the arriving guests on the way down.
The rehearsal dinner went on as scheduled, and despite our earlier sideshow, the supper was a great success with all sixty-five guests getting their fill, and marveling at my calm demeanor. I was able to postpone my traumatic reaction until later when I was trying to get to sleep that night.
Poor hubby missed the wedding and had to wait an extra day, in traction, before he could have the hip set and pinned. He insisted that I be there when he went into surgery. He was convinced he'd never walk again, and apparently he needed me there to feel the guilt of having caused his accident and of not having accompanied him to the hospital that night.
My son and his bride-to-be weren't about to call off the wedding or their honeymoon to Aruba because of the accident. So the wedding went on as planned without the father of the groom in attendance. My husband still hasn't gotten over that. But prior experience has taught us that all the major occasions in this family's household have chaotic scenarios, so why postpone the inevitable?
It was the day before my son's wedding, and I was posting red alerts and pushing panic buttons. Disorganized to begin with, I had fallen into my habitual pattern of procrastination. My soon-to-be daughter-in-law wanted the rehearsal supper in our home rather than a restaurant or church recreation room. I figured I could handle it, and there was no point in catering a small supper.
My soon-to-be daughter-in-law mailed out the invitations, but failed to mention, until the last minute, she had invited between sixty and seventy-five people. Her invitations were open-ended with things like "Bring your family if you like. I'm sure it will be fine with my mother-in-law." There was no RSVP, so how many would actually come was anyone's guess. My house is fairly large, but I had never had over twelve people in it before. I imagined people in every room and hanging off the rooftops.
It was two o'clock in the afternoon with the supper scheduled for six. I was in the midst of inflating balloons and hanging streamers when I got a phone call from my son saying he had invited everyone over early to go on a hike. And no, he couldn't call and rescind the invitation because they were already on their way.
My husband can take just so much of my "freaking out" before developing a splitting headache. This gives him permission, or so he thinks, to go into hiding. He grabbed an old beat-up coffee pot and a hot plate, and headed for our upstairs bedroom. Figuring no room would be off-limits once the mob arrived, I grabbed the offensive pot and attempted to shove inside the vanity cabinet. In the process, I spilled coffee all over my white carpet. Snatching a bar of soap and a towel, I tried to wipe up the spill, but in my haste, I left the carpet slippery from wet soap.
At this point, Hubby tried to retreat to the master bath. Unfortunately, his unshod feet found the soapy spot just before stepping onto the ceramic tile. In an instant, both feet went airborne and his bony hip came crashing down with a sickening thud on the hard floor. My worst nightmare had come true. In the process of falling, he had fractured a hip, and the arriving guests were already ringing my doorbell.
I am the kind of person who sputters and pops like a case of firecrackers during minor crisis, but when something major happens, I suddenly become a rock. Nothing can shake me. Of course, I was probably in shock because I don't remember most of it. But with the help of 911, (called because we couldn't move him down the sharp angled staircase) and one daughter, who was happy to get out of serving, we managed to get him to the hospital.
It was two o'clock in the afternoon with the supper scheduled for six. I was in the midst of inflating balloons and hanging streamers when I got a phone call from my son saying he had invited everyone over early to go on a hike. And no, he couldn't call and rescind the invitation because they were already on their way.
My husband can take just so much of my "freaking out" before developing a splitting headache. This gives him permission, or so he thinks, to go into hiding. He grabbed an old beat-up coffee pot and a hot plate, and headed for our upstairs bedroom. Figuring no room would be off-limits once the mob arrived, I grabbed the offensive pot and attempted to shove inside the vanity cabinet. In the process, I spilled coffee all over my white carpet. Snatching a bar of soap and a towel, I tried to wipe up the spill, but in my haste, I left the carpet slippery from wet soap.
At this point, Hubby tried to retreat to the master bath. Unfortunately, his unshod feet found the soapy spot just before stepping onto the ceramic tile. In an instant, both feet went airborne and his bony hip came crashing down with a sickening thud on the hard floor. My worst nightmare had come true. In the process of falling, he had fractured a hip, and the arriving guests were already ringing my doorbell.
I am the kind of person who sputters and pops like a case of firecrackers during minor crisis, but when something major happens, I suddenly become a rock. Nothing can shake me. Of course, I was probably in shock because I don't remember most of it. But with the help of 911, (called because we couldn't move him down the sharp angled staircase) and one daughter, who was happy to get out of serving, we managed to get him to the hospital.
Incidentally, 911, in spite of being informed we needed only one ambulance, sent two police cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck, all with sirens blazing. This brought all the neighbors from several blocks out on the street to see what was happening. He was transported down three-landing stairway politely greeting the arriving guests on the way down.
The rehearsal dinner went on as scheduled, and despite our earlier sideshow, the supper was a great success with all sixty-five guests getting their fill, and marveling at my calm demeanor. I was able to postpone my traumatic reaction until later when I was trying to get to sleep that night.
The rehearsal dinner went on as scheduled, and despite our earlier sideshow, the supper was a great success with all sixty-five guests getting their fill, and marveling at my calm demeanor. I was able to postpone my traumatic reaction until later when I was trying to get to sleep that night.
Poor hubby missed the wedding and had to wait an extra day, in traction, before he could have the hip set and pinned. He insisted that I be there when he went into surgery. He was convinced he'd never walk again, and apparently he needed me there to feel the guilt of having caused his accident and of not having accompanied him to the hospital that night.
My son and his bride-to-be weren't about to call off the wedding or their honeymoon to Aruba because of the accident. So the wedding went on as planned without the father of the groom in attendance. My husband still hasn't gotten over that. But prior experience has taught us that all the major occasions in this family's household have chaotic scenarios, so why postpone the inevitable?
 Recognized |
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A few of you have read this oldie already. I am promoting it again because it is one of the few stories in my book "Chasing the Elusive Dream" that hasn't yet reached the magic 26 reviews that gives it a higher rating.
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