I laugh to myself, as I remember that old “I Love Lucy” episode when a group of Christian Soldiers was in a park marching around singing, “We are the friends of the friendless.”

Lucy, of course, joined the marching band. She began singing along, believing her husband, and close friends, had abandoned her. As the audience, we knew she was loved, so we laughed at her madcap mistake.

Well, now I am not laughing. I can relate because I feel friendless.

My friend, Van, wrote me a six-paragraph-long email explaining why he couldn’t spend time with me until next year. I would’ve rather heard his voice over the phone than read an impersonal email, any day of the week.

It’s Christmas time. And those of us who live alone and have no family or friends to stop by and visit experience the holiday spirit in a different way.

We might have feelings of regret for the loss of loved ones from long ago.

I miss Audrey, my life partner, who shared and cared for me deeply with all the love she had to give.

We met as young adults, and it was Kismet who brought us together that first night at a friend’s house. We knew instantly, we would spend our lives together forever.

Audrey passed away on May 8, 2007, and since then, it has never been the same.

I live alone, and a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about how much I miss her.

This time of year is especially difficult for those of us who have lost people we deeply care for and miss.

David was a long-time friend of mine who dropped out of my life one day and never returned. I miss him so much, but it is what it is.

He and I shared a lot of good times together. My favorite times were when we went bird watching. He helped foster in me, a life long love of nature and birds in particular.

When I can walk again, I will look up the local Audubon Society, and join a group that loves bird watching.

Gratitude is always important to remember. I am grateful for my three caregivers; Robin, Denise, and Connie. Together, they complete my ‘team Jesse.’

All three give to me in their own personal way. Of course, it is a two-way street. We give and take equally between us working together in harmony.

I am careful to set boundaries with each of them so the caregiver/friend dichotomy doesn’t create friction and chaos. So far, so good.

This holiday season, I will write a gratitude list. I’ll be thankful for all the bounty of caring friendships I have in my life.

Whether they are caregivers, family, or friends, they all mean the world to me.