sexy Santa started shopping
for his lover's Christmas stocking
seeking vendors he went knocking
for some thing she'd find eye-popping

at A & J Lingerie
he snagged a snazzy silver sleigh
from Cupid's Closet in LA
he fetched a feline femme cosplay

had she been naughty or been good?
he pondered, passing through the hood
at the doorstep long he stood
in front of Hustler Hollywood

wowzers! How his eyes dilated
like a zombie unsedated
in his glee he salivated
watching how those things vibrated

some went “whirr” and some went “click”
some were short and some were thick
one looked like a pogo stick
tell him, which one should he pick?

so don your reindeer lingerie
when Santa Claus comes out to play
for that is all the elves can say
to hint about your holiday