The Last Dr. Phil Show

Year: 2032. 

            Doctor Phile…. I mean, Phil, greets everyone saying, “Welcome everybody, to the last Dr. Phil show.  I have here, four guest.  I have John Kreese and Terry Silver from Cobra Kai, I have Tong Po from the 1989 movie Kickboxer, AND I have a special guest from Friday the 13th…  Jason Voorheis!” 

            The crowd cheers. 

            Doctor Phil continues with, “And must I say, we’re gonna see who can make Jason laugh with Jason Jokes.  Will it be John Kreese, Terry Silver, or Kickboxer’s Tong Po.”

            “I’ll go first,” John Kreese said.  “Hey Jason. When you were in Jason X, you were over 500 years old, being that you were born in the 1940’s, and the movie takes place in 2455.  All the characters in Jason X had to do was tell you to act your age, and you would have fallen dead.”

            The audience laughs.  Jason shakes his head instead of laughing. 

            “My Turn,” Terry Silver said.  “Hey Jason.  Out of all the victims you killed, I noticed that none of their names were Jason.”

            The audience laughs.  Jason just shrugged his shoulders. 

            “Tough crowd, guys,” Dr. Phil said to John Kreese and Terry Silver. 

            “Hold up Dr. Phil, I haven’t told my joke yet,” Tong Po said. 

            “Okay Tong Po, tell your joke,” Dr. Phil commanded. 

            “Okay,” Tong Po said, then he said, “Why did Jason Voorheis accept Jesus Christ into his life? …Because he didn’t wanna do a remake of Jason Goes to Hell!” 

            Suddenly, everyone looks as they hear a door get kicked in.  The good guys from all 5 kickboxer movies show up on canes and walkers simultaneously saying, “HEY, TONG PO!  Out of all the 5 kickboxer movies, the director Albert Pyunn let you live.  But we’re here on the Last Dr. Phil show to finish you off unlike we did in the movies.  We were all trained by that skeleton named Zein sitting in that corner.”

            They all point to Zein’s skeleton in the right corner of the stage.

            Tong Po stands up and says, “Oh yeah, that’s what you think.  I got a team of my own.”

            Tong Po looks back stage and says, “Hey, all bad guys from kickboxer 1,2,3,4, and 5, come on down. You’re the next contestant on the Last Dr. Phil show!”

            All the bad guys from kickboxer 1,2,3,4, and 5 come out while on canes, walkers, and wheelchairs.

            “You good guys from kickboxer 1,2,3,4, and 5 are NOT gonna have an easy fight on your hands.  Because we were trained by Freddy Lee’s skeleton sitting in the left corner of the stage over there.”

            As the bad guys from kickboxer 1,2,3,4, and 5 all pointed to Freddy Lee’s skeleton, Jason put a sour look on his face from hearing the name ‘FREDDY.’

            “Now wait a second,” Dr. Phil said, then suddenly, all the rest of the characters from all six seasons of Cobra Kai came from behind stage.

            All the Characters from all six episodes of Cobra Kai said simultaneously, “Hey Terry Silver and John Kreese!  You guys had us all fight each other many times.  We’re gonna get our revenge! You had us all in a karate riot! Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!”

            The old song ‘Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting starts to play.  Everyone starts dancing.  After a minute into the song, everyone simultaneously said, “ENOUGH!” 

            All the Bad guys said, “CHARGE!”

            Everybody started hitting each other with their canes, walkers, and wheelchairs.  Well, the year is 2032.  Everybody’s older. 

            “Guys, stop this fighting!  Stop this fighting at ONCE!” Dr. Phil said as the old security guards failed to stop the karate, cane, wheelchair, and walker senior citizen riot.   

                                                                        Lol. 

            Jason just sat in his chair chilling and observing while shaking his head. 

            “Jason,” Dr Phil said.  “Aren’t you gonna kill them to get them to stop!?!”

            Jason holds up a sign for Dr. Phil to read.  It says, ‘I don’t need to kill them.  They’re gonna kill each other anyway!’

            “GUYS STOP IT!” Dr. Phil panicked. 

            Suddenly, an object gets thrown at Dr. Phil, breaking his glasses into three pieces.  Dr. Phil picked up the pieces of his glasses and said, “SEE GUYS!  YOU ALMOST BROKE MY NEW GLASSES!” 

                                                                        Lol. 

They were broken, not almost broken.

            Suddenly, Dr. Phil gets an idea and says, “Okay everybody, I’m gonna call somebody from backstage who can kick all of your butts at the same time.  Ladies and Gentlemen, still kicking but at age 92, I’d like to call out. ……CHUCK NORRIS!” 

            As Chuck Norris came out, the audience cheered while everyone who was fighting got scared and took off running so fast, they went back in time to the first season of Cobra Kai. 

            Suddenly, the delorian from Back To The Future showed up out of nowhere, appearing in the studio and making a stop. 

            Everyone who was fighting got out of the Delorian with Doc and Marty from Back To The Future. 

            “Shame on all of you for fighting like this.  Just like Biff would say, you guys are acting like a bunch of buttheads!” Marty said. 

            Doc said, “YEAH!  Great Scott.  This is Heavy!” 

            Jason Voorheis stands up and suffers a heart attack out of fear at the sight of Chuck Norris, then he falls dead.

            “Finally Jason dies for good.  I guess it’s Saturday the 14th now,” Chuck Norris said. 

            Suddenly, Simon Phenix and John Spartan from the movie Demolition Man show up and says to Chuck Norris, “Hey Chuck Norris.  Our movie titled Demolition Man is set in this current year, 2032.  And we ain’t gonna let you take it over!” 

            “WHAT!” Chuck Norris said. 

            John Spartan and Simon Phenix said, “We’re just kidding Mr. Chuck Norris.  Be well!” 

            John Spartan and Simon Phenix ran off so fast, that they ended up time traveling back to their own year, 1996, according to the movie Demolition Man. 

            “Ladies and Gentlemen, CHUCK NORRIS!” 

            The crowd cheers. 

                                                            Lol. The end.