Dating in 1955

On the day of my first date with Evan, I was nervous for several reasons. Except for the brief meeting in the cafe and the history he had provided in his first letter, he was basically a stranger. I didn’t know if he planned to see me at home or we would be going somewhere. I also wondered how he would find my house. As far as I knew, my aunt had only given him a mailing address. My street had no name, nor did we have a house number. Most of all, I was worried about how my dad would react. Until that day, Dad didn’t know he existed and since it was Sunday and he would be at home, I had to tell him.

Dad wasn’t happy about his only daughter dating. According to my dad, Evan had three strikes against him before they ever met. He was sure I couldn’t meet a decent guy at Uncle Willie’s café. Because Evan had been in the Korean war, he was likely too old for me. The third strike was he had grown up in Smith County which had a notorious section known as Sullivan’s Hollow. It was the home of feuding families who killed anyone they didn’t like. According to Dad, only boot leggers and horse thieves came from Smith County. Dad said he was going to have a long talk with Evan when he arrived.

My dad was full of threats and bluster but seldom any action. I didn’t know that for sure, and it kept me on edge. Fortunately, he decided to check out the back pasture, and he was nowhere to be seen when Evan arrived. He came promptly at the time I’d suggested. Apparently, he figured out where I lived from his conversation with my Aunt Eva. He said he and his family had driven to our place seven years before to check out the tornado damage. Back then there was nothing but rubble where our house had stood.

I invited him in, and we sat for a few minutes discussing the art project which I pretended to be working on to impress him. Then he suggested we take a ride. This made me happy, because I couldn’t wait to get out of the house before Dad reappeared. Evan was trying to impress me as well, because, instead of arriving in the ugly grey Plymouth I’d seen him driving, he arrived in a slick black Pontiac. It would be a while before I learned he’d borrowed his brother’s car. His brother was still serving time in the Navy.

With no where in mind to go. We rode around in Newton for a while and then headed toward Decatur, the county seat, and where Evan had attended college. He pelted me with questions which caused me to feel like I was being interviewed. I tend to be on the quiet side, until I feel comfortable with a person. Some of his questions were. “Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you have brothers or sisters? Are you petted?”

Am I petted? What is that all about? What am I, a cat? Maybe he thinks it sounds better than asking Are you spoiled rotten? People seem to believe an only child must be spoiled.

I answered his questions in the negative, and then he suggested, we get a cup of coffee. This was a new experience for me, because I had never had coffee before. I used two creams and four spoons of sugar, but he drank his black. He told me about his new job in Jackson drawing architectural plans and doing lettering for a prefab manufacturing company. He would be home only on weekends. His family had moved from Smith County and he now lived in Jasper County which was one county over from Newton. His house was only 17 miles away from our house. He asked for another date for the following weekend. We would go to a drive-in movie on Saturday night and to church service on Sunday night.

The first time we kissed was at the drive-in theater. In my opinion, movies at drive-ins were lousy. This was winter, and windows had to be down to clip on the device for sound which wasn’t the best quality. They were good for privacy, so in spite of not getting much from the movie, we went there almost every Saturday night. The theater was the only place of entertainment Newton had to offer. For some reason, Evan didn’t seem to want to go to the regular theater.

The first time we went to church together on Sunday night, I tripped on the rocks we walked on after parking and I embedded nylon and gravel in my knee and tore my hose to pieces. I was wearing 3 inch heels and hose with the seam down the back of my leg. Evan was Baptist and pretty religious. He had been rebaptized since he came home from Korea. He and I did our share of discussing some conflicting differences on our spiritual views. Along with our weekly dates, we wrote to each other during the week.

Although, we wrote that we loved each other in our letters, I wasn’t convinced yet. Marriage came up, and I kind of freaked out and told him I didn’t ever plan to get married and certainly no time soon. He was 25 and old enough to marry but I was 17. I think I discouraged him but he still kept asking for dates.

Unfortunately, this is when Mom decided to get involved without telling me. She found my letters and decided he was pushing me to get married. She took it upon herself to write to him and tell him she thought I was confused, and he needed to give our relationship a break. He was scheduled to come on Saturday night, but Mom was afraid to tell me she had canceled our date. I got dressed, and when he didn’t come, I was furious that I’d been stood up.

As it happened, a young man was visiting from Alabama. He was related in some way to my Uncle Harry, and they came over to visit us the following day. The guy and I walked around together and he decided he was attracted to me and wanted me to start writing to him. I assumed my relationship with Evan was over and I agreed. He actually kissed me before he left. That is when Mom realized she might have gone too far, and I was about to really screw up my life, so she finally told me what she had done. Now, it was her I was furious with. I wrote Evan immediately and told him Mom apologized for interfering with us and, I wanted him to come back.

Our dates were on again for every weekend. Marriage wasn’t brought up again, but my letters mentioned I longed for a time when we could be together all the time. I guess that gave him some hope so things were back on track.