Hope

Hope

    I parked my 1979 Ford Pinto in the far corner of the Clinic parking lot, obscured by a Sysco delivery truck. It was an ancient wreck, but at least it started most mornings. I checked the back seat. All my clothes and household items were hidden under the old quilt I used as a blanket. I tipped the mirror and studied my face, dishwater blonde hair neatly tied in a ponytail. My makeup emphasized my green eyes and covered the dark, fading bruises underneath. I took a deep breath.  Be confident, attentive, brave, and act like you know what you're doing. You can do this, Angie. I lectured myself like Mrs. Speck, my high school English teacher.

     As I exited the car, I glanced in the cracked side window. My blue scrubs, purchased at Goodwill, had a few wrinkles but appeared crisp and professional. After two weeks of living in the car, it was a miracle. I hurried across the parking lot, happy to put some distance between myself and the vehicle. Eight blissful hours in a warm building would be heaven after cold Montana nights huddled in the back seat.

     I entered the large, welcoming lobby and hurried to the HR office. Lily would introduce me to Dr. McCarthy, the physician I would work with. I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I could feel nervous sweat pooling under my arms. I prayed I didn’t reek. The tits and ass sponge bath at the dirty gas station didn’t bolster my confidence. Usually, I washed at the library, but it wasn’t open at 7 A.M.

   I swore softly under my breath. Damn Sean, if it weren’t for him, I’d be home with my parents, sleeping in a warm bed with food in the refrigerator. Instead, I was hundreds of miles away, alone, scared and broke. I chuckled ruefully; at least I’m alive. Sean’s death threats resounded in my ears, and I shuddered. As the door opened, I plastered on a bright, fake smile.

     Standing next to Lily was a rotund, ruddy-cheeked man in a white coat, a stethoscope dangling from his neck. He moved quickly across the room, extending a beefy hand.

     “Angela, I presume. I’m Dr. McCarthy.”

    I shook his hand, hoping mine wasn’t damp.

     Before I could speak further, he exited the room and called over his shoulder. “Let’s go. We have work to do and patients to see.”

     I scrambled out the door, jogging to keep up. He moved quickly, zinging like a ball in a pinball machine. Staff members leaped out of his way as he bulldozed down the hall. I felt like the tail of a kite as I raced to keep up. He abruptly stopped, pointed to a tall blonde, entered an office, and shut the door.

    I stood dumbfounded. I glanced at the blonde. She flashed me a wry grin.

“That’s Dr. McCarthy. He moves fast, doesn’t answer questions, and expects his assistant to know what to do without being told. I’m Irene.” She shook her head from side to side. “God help you. You’re his fifth assistant this month.”

    “I’m his last assistant. Let me know what has to be done, and I’ll do it. I desperately need this job.” My bold tone shocked me, but after dealing with an abusive husband, this fat, short-tempered Irish doctor wasn’t going to cow me.

    She flashed a sympathetic smile and then rapidly outlined my duties.

     I jumped when the office door opened. Dr. McCarthy glared at me.

    “Next patient, Angie,” he roared, slamming his office door again.

    Irene pointed to the waiting room. I raced down the hall and summoned the next patient on the list. The morning passed in a millisecond, and before I could catch my breath, it was lunchtime. Irene guided me to the clinic break room.

    When we entered, the staff stood and started clapping. I shot a bewildered glance at Irene.

     A smile spread across her face. “You’re Dr. McCarthy’s first assistant to last through one hour of employment. You’ve set a new record, and I think he likes you.” Her eyes twinkled. “You’re a warrior.”

    I collapsed in the chair, exhausted. Irene handed me a cup of coffee. I saluted my co-workers, basking in the warm glow of their approval as tears misted my eyes.  A new feeling swept over me: hope.