What If

What if I had made different decisions? What if I had not made the decision to leave the ghetto to attend a school where the white majority did not welcome me? What if I had believed my mother who told me, constantly, that I was stupid? What if I had doubted myself out of the opportunity to attend college which was never my goal?   What if  when I met him, I would've stuck to my unattraction to him and looked the other way.  What if I had taken the time to date other people and not waste my time with him for five years. What if I had ran away from my own wedding while I was feeling so much doubt? What if I had divorced him that first year that I learned that he was unfaithful.  What if I had chosen myself first and not focused so hard on making him happy although I was miserable?  What if I had accepted that internship as a news broadcaster instead of asking his opinion and allowing him to talk me out of accepting that opportunity?  What if I had not finally woke up, rose up and left his ass and went on about my business?  What if I had not enrolled in grad school and achieved my goal of earning a Master's degree?  What if I had not purchased my own home and started a successful business?  To answer these questions,  I would still be STUCK on stupid and not progressing in life had I not made some decisions for myself.