General Fiction posted June 27, 2024 |
The deterioration of proper English
Grammarian Grudge
by CornishChick
“What you shoulda did was call me first,” Candace screamed into her cellphone, while her free hand shot out in frustration. “Where are you?”
“Me and Sheila had went to the mall,” Carrie sobbed. “We seen that big earring sale was on.”
“I had saw the ad popup too. You shoulda told me you was taking the car.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“So, what happened?”
“Her and I stopped for a expresso.”
“Naturally. Your caffeine fix. Then what?”
“I popped into the ladies room.” Another sob. “When I had came out, Sheila had went missing.”
“Went missing? Is that a new store in the mall?”
“Went missing, Mom. Missing,” Carrie hissed. “You know, disappeared. I been looking all over the mall.”
“You check the pet store?”
“Why?”
“Ain’t she nuts about puppies?”
“Duh.”
“Duh as in why you ain’t thought of that or duh as in your mom is crazy?” Sarcasm dripped from Candace’s lips as she argued with her distraught daughter.
“Maybe she gone there. Bye, Mom.”
“You’re welcome.” Candace glared at the darkening screen before shoving it in her handbag.
Note from Narrator: Whew! Now I feel better!"
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“What you shoulda did was call me first,” Candace screamed into her cellphone, while her free hand shot out in frustration. “Where are you?”
“Me and Sheila had went to the mall,” Carrie sobbed. “We seen that big earring sale was on.”
“I had saw the ad popup too. You shoulda told me you was taking the car.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“So, what happened?”
“Her and I stopped for a expresso.”
“Naturally. Your caffeine fix. Then what?”
“I popped into the ladies room.” Another sob. “When I had came out, Sheila had went missing.”
“Went missing? Is that a new store in the mall?”
“Went missing, Mom. Missing,” Carrie hissed. “You know, disappeared. I been looking all over the mall.”
“You check the pet store?”
“Why?”
“Ain’t she nuts about puppies?”
“Duh.”
“Duh as in why you ain’t thought of that or duh as in your mom is crazy?” Sarcasm dripped from Candace’s lips as she argued with her distraught daughter.
“Maybe she gone there. Bye, Mom.”
“You’re welcome.” Candace glared at the darkening screen before shoving it in her handbag.
Note from Narrator: Whew! Now I feel better!"
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