For a summary of what's happened in previous posts, please see author notes.

*************

24th August 2023

I jump onto the pavement as the bus comes to a stop, pulling my hand gel out of my pocket and squirting far too much onto my hand. I can’t remember the last time I got the bus.

I managed to convince Rachel I was popping into town to see if there were any volunteering jobs available. She wanted to drive me; I had to convince her I was fine to go out on my own without raising my voice. At least the journalist wasn’t outside the house this morning, I’m sure he would’ve followed me to the bus stop if he had been. I opted not to tell Rachel about it when she got home from the shops yesterday, it would only have made her angry; if he’d still been hanging around I would’ve mentioned something, but he’d gone. I keep looking over my shoulder now, thinking he’s following me. If pictures are published of me going to see Lucie, I’ll be done for, surely the police will intervene as I followed her home from the court.

Lucie suggested I meet her and her friend at her house this afternoon. The bus journey to Romford has taken half an hour.

Taking in a deep breath, I knock on Lucie’s front door. A shadow falls over the glass in the centre of the front door and the door’s wrenched open. Lucie stands there, beaming at me.

‘Ah, Stacey, you’re here, good, Ruth’s in the living room. D’you want a tea or coffee?’

‘No thanks,’ I reply, even though my mouth is dry.

‘OK, well, I’ll introduce you, come through.’

Running my hand through my hair, I follow Lucie through into her living room. It’s a little tidier than it was the other day; the children’s toys are tidied away. There’s a dark haired woman sitting on the sofa, where I sat the first time I came here.  

‘Hi Stacey,’ Ruth says brightly, standing up and holding her hand out. ‘I’m Ruth, Lucie’s friend.’

‘Hi,’ I say, taking her hand.

I glance back to Lucie.

‘So, why don’t we talk about what you hope to achieve from us working together?’ Ruth says, sitting back down, smiling at me. ‘I’m happy to help you look into what could’ve happened.’

I wonder what she’s thought about my son over the last few months. She must have an opinion on him, it seems everyone in the country has.

‘Well, um . . .’ My knees tremble as I sit in the chair opposite, Lucie sits next to me. ‘As I’m sure Lucie’s already told you, I’m certain my son’s innocent. The police they . . . they fixated on him right from the first few days of this enquiry and ignored other leads coming in.’

‘OK,’ Ruth says tentatively. ‘Are you certain they’ve ignored other lines of enquiry?’

I stare at her. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it?’

Ruth frowns at me. ‘I could understand if you’ve employed some sort of private investigator beforehand and they’ve handed stuff over to the police, but what do you believe the police have ignored?’       

‘Well, um, I . . .’ I can’t believe this; I’m stumped at what to say at the first hurdle. God Lucie’s going to be thinking I’m some sort of nutcase and that they were right to send my son down. ‘It’s just the way they went about their business. Susannah, she was, she was found dead and Joshua was arrested and released on bail the very next day. He told me at the time he had nothing to do with her murder, he cried on my shoulder; the next day he was hauled in for questioning again and completely changed his tune, I think . . . I think he was blackmailed into confessing and then he pleaded not guilty at the trial, it’s like he . . .’ I wipe my eyes.

Ruth straightens up in her seat. ‘You think he was blackmailed into confessing?’ She glances across at Lucie, frowning. She’s thinking this is a complete waste of time, that there’s going to be no way her editor’s going to want to let her look into this, let alone write about it. I shift in my seat. ‘Why would the police blackmail him?’

I chew on my lip, biting down until I taste the sharp taste of blood. ‘I don’t know, they could never find Susannah’s phone that went missing, remember. Perhaps they just thought he would be the easiest scapegoat, the public certainly thought it was him from day one. I just know he’s innocent, Lucie knows it too, and having Lucie affirm it, made me think it wasn’t just me.’

'OK. Talk to me about his relationship with the girl who was murdered, Susannah.’

‘I . . . I only met her a handful of times,’ I say, rubbing my nose. ‘She was a lovely girl. They seemed really happy together, I kept thinking to myself that she was going to be the one and he would end up proposing to her, even though they’d only been together for a short while, I just had this, instinct, I guess. You’ve probably heard this all before from the countless media reports, but the night she was murdered, he was meant to be picking her up from work. She worked as a teaching assistant at Oakhill Primary. Joshua was at mine that afternoon; he left to pick her up at half past three, they were planning to go and see a film and then grab something to eat. There was nothing about him at all that suggested this terrible thing was about to happen, he was acting normal; he was excited about seeing her. If I thought he was guilty, I would’ve been the first to hand him over to the police, believe me. I would’ve been disgusted.’

‘So, there’s CCTV of him arriving outside the primary school,’ Ruth says. ‘But Susannah, according to CCTV, had already left half an hour before he got there, which is slightly strange if she was planning to meet him outside the school.’

I swallow. ‘Yes, he got there about four; he parked a little further down the street. But he . . . she wasn’t responding to his texts when he got there, he tried calling her and there was no response from Susannah. I think, yes, he was angry at the time because he thought she’d deliberately stood him up, he waited about an hour before driving home. He went into the building to ask if Susannah was still inside, and he was told by the receptionist that she’d already left to go home, there’s CCTV confirming this. I think that’s what made him upset at the time, that she hadn’t bothered to let him know she’d already left.’

‘So, OK, this is the first part here that the public can’t quite get their heads around,’ Ruth says. ‘They’d been seeing each other for a good couple of months up until this point, and they’d got to know each other quite well. Surely he would’ve tried to check with anyone else who knew Susannah if he was concerned about where she was, or even gone round to her flat, rather than just drive off home, as he said he did.’

I shake my head. ‘He’s had problems with various relationships in the past. He’s ended up being ghosted by girls and I think . . . I think he just thought the same was happening here, I think he thought, he thought she was seeing someone else. If it had been an emergency and she’d had to get going, she would’ve told him, I’m sure.’

My legs begin to jitter up and down. I want to ask Lucie if she could open up a window, but I decide not to.

‘So, according to the timeline provided at the time, he ended up driving home at about five thirty, after getting no response from Susannah. He got back to his flat at six pm and ordered a pizza, which arrived at seven pm. He then says he went to bed at ten pm, after watching a film and didn’t wake up until nine thirty am the following morning, which was a Saturday. Susannah’s body was discovered in her flat, at one pm on the Saturday, after her mother failed to get hold of her, so she went round there with the spare key to see if she was OK.’

‘That’s right,’ I say. Why are we going over all of this, it’s been rehashed so many times in the media?

‘So, from seven pm onwards, there is no one who can account for Joshua’s movements to confirm that he did stay at home all evening,’ Ruth says. ‘The police hypothesis is that he went round to Susannah’s apartment after he had the pizza delivered, an argument took place, and he killed her. His DNA was found on her body, a car similar to his was spotted in the area close to Susannah’s apartment at around ten pm that night.’

I shake my head. ‘No. There’s a perfectly innocent explanation for his DNA being on her, he was in a relationship with her, and he’d only seen her the day before. He stayed at home all evening after he got back to his place. He told me that, I know when he’s lying, Ruth, and he wasn’t. Someone else killed that poor girl, and I need your help to find who that person was. I . . . I think she was already . . .’

‘OK,’ Ruth says, there’s a hint of a sigh to her voice, I curl my fist. Perhaps she’s already thinking this is a waste of time. ‘I can help you look into this, but I have to be frank with you, it’s going to be very difficult, but if there is something there that might prove the police are wrong, I’ll follow it, you have my word on that.’

I wipe my eyes. ‘Thank you.’

‘It might be worth trying to arrange to see your son,’ she suggests. ‘In the next couple of days, perhaps you can try and talk to him a bit more about how he was treated by the police, see what he says.’

I bite my lip. ‘I’ve no idea if he’ll want to see me, he didn’t even want me attending court.’

‘Try and see if you can make an appointment to see him,’ Ruth says. ‘I think that’s the next step here.’

I nod. ‘OK, I will do.’

I glance across at Lucie who smiles at me as if to reassure me everything’s going to be OK. God, I never thought I would have to go to prison for anything, let alone, to see my own son.

**********

Characters:

Stacey (mother of Joshua) 

Lucie (foreman of the jury)

Joshua (Stacey's son)

Susannah (murder victim) 

Rachel (Stacey's daughter)

Daniel (Stacey's ex-husband)