come, chum, crumb, dum, dumb, drum, glum, gum, hum, mum, numb, plum, rum, scum, strum, sum, slum, thumb, yum. 

 

Please note: This never really happened. Not because my Mum was an old softie, but rather, we were perfect children.

 

Of The Cane 'Cross Me Bum

 

This is a story, really sad, but oh so very, very true,

'Bout the 'buse I received when I was in grades one and two.

I really wasn't naughty, 'twas truly the perfect little child,

Taught by those angry Nuns, who looked so meek and mild.

But there was this other side, specially when feeling glum,

Those Nuns learned the value, of the cane 'cross me bum.

 

 

Then came high school, where the brother's led the way

Not saying the were angry, just had an odd sense of play.

They had this little helper, called it an inflictor of pain,'

'Bout three foot long, a half inch round, bore the name of cane.

But I can still remember those words of my dear old Mum,

'An how she supported the practice of the cane 'cross me bum.

 

 

Now, I sit back and recall how we lived in those good old days

And when we did good Mum always gave us, a whole lot of praise. 

The lessons she taught, I never will forget, she really was the best,

She always cleared up after us up, when the house was badly messed.

When it comes to music, she loved the Beatles, wanted me to play the drum

Still recall her supporting teacher's practice of,  'the cane 'cross me bum.'

 

 

 

Now I am old and weathered, an' me memory's not that good,

Still have dreams of school days when I thought I really should.

Become a Marist Brother then I could utilise that cane,

Then sanity returned and I recall it inflicted so much pain..

A smile lit my face, then I thought that idea was really dumb, 

'Cause I knew I never could be that cruel, an' use, 'the strap 'cross a bum.' 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I'm old and weathered