Imagine, if you will, a place of inner peace. Breathe the air and feel your heart settle down to a manageable beat. The place I am taking you to metaphorically is one of my favourite ‘go-to’ relaxing places in Melbourne, and it is close to our home. 

Although I am not overly thrilled with the suburb where we reside, by contrast, the suburb “next door”, as it were, has the most beautiful quiet beach. Apparently, it is one of the best in Melbourne, according to friends who used to drive a fair distance to spend the day there during the summer school holidays. As there are no motels in sight, one can assume they could not spend a few days resting.  These days, residential homes put paid to holiday retreats in the area. This can only be a good thing, says the selfish scribe.

Altona Beach, a five-minute drive from our home, is this place of retreat and refuge, a breathtaking example of a little village surrounded by the sea. It has a fair sprinkling of street shops and on Tuesdays has a market; no fancy shopping centres, with amplified sounds and slippery floors. Stationery, plants galore, fresh flowers, clothing and foodstuffs, among other less interesting things, tempt the curious shopper.   Many great birthday or Christmas gifts can be purchased at any one of the stalls. My darling insists that one stall offers the best honey. I thought I was the best, but oh well, I can’t win them all! Nevertheless, our garden has been treated to a variety of nature’s specialities, especially roses and orchids, my favourites.

The three dominant ancestries recorded in 2021 defining cultural association and ethnic background in the area are Australian, English, and Maltese. I did not know this until today. It certainly explains the lack of decoration or, indeed, the sometimes beautiful aromas of Asian food. You will be pleased to know that Italian cuisine is prominent. Sadly, for some, there are no Hungry Jacks or McDonalds, to which I say ‘Suffer’.

The beach itself has soft white sand.  The newly updated pier and extension of the main road provide an excellent way to exercise.  Norfolk Pines stand sentinel across the street end, providing both nature’s beauty and shade.  I love Norfolk Pines!  During the COVID pandemic (prior to updating the pier), it was the one place you could walk and breathe, albeit with a mask. My darling decided to take me in the car one day and drive down, open the windows and let me breathe the air, watching others walk quickly in case they were caught loitering into the path of a COVID-19 germ. Our state premier of the time was like a foreboding Headmaster: all rules and little leeway.  Like most politicians, there were rules for the also-rans and rules for the elite.  However, though we could not visit family and friends, the brothels did well.   l kid you not!! I also digress.

At this beach, the waves meet the sand with an elegance I can equate with music.  Like the rhythm and beauty of the Blue Danube Waltz, it bids my heart be still. So much so that exuberant children do not annoy me; in fact, the expression on my face is sometimes motherly.  As a dog lover, I am in my element comparing every small poodle-like dog to ours and still preferring ours, of course. Fear not, I love all dogs, but some, particularly those with exuberant tails that smack my own tail almost like the way Mum used to, I keep at a distance.

There is, however, one flaw. The days the seaweed comes to town. My nostrils if it were possible, would wear an ominous frown. It stinks, and on those days, I avoid eggs. I am glad I do not live close to the beach! That said, it does not put me off this example of God’s creation. On at least two occasions, I have written stories where I have centred the tale on a beach. Of course, I imagine the one at Altona; where else?