I tried to give you warning

but my words you wouldn’t heed;

your parents were coming over

and them I would have to feed.

I’m never one for cooking

but once the pressure’s on,

my culinary ability

is well and truly gone.

There’s flour on the carpet,

there’s egg upon the wall,

and watch out for that trifle!

I just knew that it would fall.

I just need the space to put down

our four best dinner plates,

then I’ll clean the worst of it

before tying on my skates.

Sneaking out the back way

I can be really quick,

I know the perfect take-away

that’s food will do the trick.

The dinner guests are waiting

as I walk on through the door,

managing against all odds

to not drop one of the four.

I’m getting the oddest glances,

I’m nervous, I confess,

when hubby leans towards me and says

“Dear, you are a mess!”

I look down at my eggy hands,

I really did not think

to look into a mirror,

now my heart begins to sink.

His mother gives a knowing smile,

puts some tissue in my hand.

“This food is quite delicious and...

I really understand.”

She walks me to the kitchen,

takes a broom, gives me a mop,

and soon that mess has disappeared,

each tiny little drop!