| Humor Script posted April 20, 2024 |
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This is part two of the mini script I wrote before.
The CRAZY Women's Self Defense 2
by Ronny Guy
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INT. WALMART - DAY
NIP, a creepy-looking guy, (25), spots Gloria, very gorgeous biracial colored woman with gold-colored hair, (21).
NIP
(to himself; meaning
Gloria)
Wow! She's so beautiful, when she was
seen walking down the streets of New York
New York, everyone started spreading the news.
(beat)
She's so beautiful, men refuse to HIT on her,
because they think she's a knock-out!
(beat)
She's so beautiful, when she read a Victoria's
Secret magazine, it TOLD about her.
(beat)
She's so beautiful, when she bought a new
car, it transformed and asked her out on a date.
(beat)
She's so beautiful like the women in Cobra Kai, I
WAX ON, and I WAX OFF, and I get my coat!
Nip approaches Gloria.
NIP
Excuse me miss. Did it hurt when you fell from
Heaven?
Gloria gets a resentful look on her face.
GLORIA
EXCUSE ME!
NIP
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
GLORIA
How DARE you call me the Devil. The person we'll
spend eternity in hell with if we die without accepting
Jesus into our lives. HE'S the one who fell from Heaven
like Lightning!
Nip aggressively moves towards Gloria.
NIP
I want to GRAB YOU!
As Nip goes to grab Gloria, Gloria smites a punch to Nip's solar plexus, knocking ALL the wind out of him.
NIP
(losing his wind, sounding
funny)
BUUURRRRRRRRR!
Gloria then grabs Nip's shoulders and slams her knee into his groin.
NIP
(grabbing his groin)
HOLY MY COW!
Nip VOMITS for 180 seconds straight, his nose starts bleeding, then he falls to the ground while sounding like he's growling.
NIP
(sounding like he's
growling)
HEEAAAH!!! HEEAAAHH! HEEAAH!!! HEEAAHH!
Gloria rushes out the store.
INT. AMBULANCE VAN - MOMENTS LATER
Nip is being taken to the hospital on account of Gloria punching his solar plexus and kneeing his crotch.
It's obvious that Nip is in deep shock while EXTREMELY ANGRY. He's crying.
PARAMEDIC
(to Nip)
Let this be a lesson. Don't touch women without their
consent.
NIP
(meaning Gloria; while
extremely disoriented shock;
randomly blurting)
THAT GIRL IS SO STUPID, SHE WALKED INTO TACO
BELL AND RAN INTO A SKUNK!
Everyone in the Ambulance van fell to the ground laughing.
EXT. STREETS - SAME TIME
The ambulance van loses control and crashes into another car, causing a pile-up. One car goes airborne and crashes into a gas rig.
BOOM! Huge explosion.
A fourth-grade boy sees all this, becomes BEYOND frightened by the explosion, and takes off running, accidenitly hitting his face on a sign. The sign breaks.
Just like the first Crazy Women's self-defense script, this script is meant to be ridiculously funny. Hope you enjoy.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. 
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© Copyright 2024. Ronny Guy All rights reserved.
Ronny Guy has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
