Striding Edge

I voted for death. Well, death had already voted for me. The cancer had disseminated throughout my body. It wasn't if, it was when. I could have voted for life. Let's qualify that. I could have voted for a prolongation of life. Nobody could tell me how long I might extend the inevitable descent towards extinction. I had already experienced the debilitating effects of radiotherapy and toxic chemotherapy.
If that was life, was it really worth fighting for? I reckoned I had a window of opportunity. I had two weeks until the next round of multi-cell annihilation. Vomiting, diarrhoea, weakness superimposed upon the now normal baldness. Sod it! While I had sufficient energy and drive I would revisit my favourite place in the whole world and seek some kind of emotional renaissance. I might die on Helvellyn. Death with pride as opposed to humiliating, reductionist survival. Yeah, I'd settle for that.

*

The storm clouds rumbled overhead. The persistent rain was blinding. The wind whipped and eddied. I'd tackled Striding Edge in worse conditions. But I was younger then. And fitter. And healthy.
For a dead man walking the degree of difficulty was substantial. The initial ascent had been accomplished. I was breathing heavily. Striding Edge lay ahead. It beckoned, teasingly. The spirits of the mountain mocked me.
"Come on, old man. You can do this. Death or Glory."
I set off across the narrow ridge, taking steady confident steps. Hesitant shuffling would be inviting disaster. I found my rhythm quite quickly. The wind whistled past my ears. My spirits soared. I looked down and left. Red Tarn sparkled. I convinced myself that the blurred white patches were white Schelly fish surfacing to feed. More distant, white capped waves danced across the surface of Ullswater.
I hadn't seen the moss-covered rock. It threw me off balance and I sprawled awkwardly on the hard surface of the ridge. Shit! I should have known not to extend my left arm to break my fall. The pain and visible deformity told me I had a Smith's fracture. I scrambled clumsily to my feet. My mood had changed. The illusion of immortality had been punctured. The sudden pain in my chest was excruciating. What was that? What did it mean? I gasped for breath as the rain, remorseless, soaked through my protective clothing. I remembered why I had come to Striding Edge, which had claimed so many lives. I had come to die. To empower my choice of how and when I would "shuffle off this mortal coil." That was now. To sink in a shapeless, lifeless heap upon the crest would be to negate that choice. I staggered sideways, reached the jagged rim. Before the all-enveloping pain at the core of my being could rob me of the ability to act, I propelled myself into the void. I smiled as I hurtled to release. I'd made my vote count.