“Life is finite, so why not make the most of life and find love” Those were the final words of advice that our headmaster of Eros Academy said to us .” It‘s official ! We are now honest to god Cupid’s!” my classmate said. I just smiled. It was my turn to make my family proud. I came from a long line of yentals.  Much praise yet much pressure was placed on my shoulders. Ah to be brimming with love and hope. To be full of determination and optimism. Those were the days of youth. How precious. How transient. And how … disillusioning. I‘m a cantankerous  Cupid. In other words, I’m a realist. I am not a pessimist . I do not hate the world but nor do I love it. I am apathetic. A Cupid who ignores the calls of love and prying. I‘m unmoved. To some - my parents - I'm a failure   But in truth, I‘m burnt out. Believe me, I did try but as the millennia blurred into millennia one thing was a constant. Humanity‘s hatred for one another. It was irrational unjustified and senseless hatred. And what was it really about the slight change in pigment? , the orientation of my domain? the difference in deities? The green-eyed monster of greed? Ambition? All trivial!   all petty! All senseless.

   

We Cupids are better than that. No, we were superior because we had a singular ( myopic really ) mission. To introduce, inspire, and even indoctrinate love into this world. If there was even a single glance a single thought we could amplify, wield, modify, and ennoble it from petty lust or timid curiosity to unadulterated love. Yes, we were the masters of love. But a Cupid could never fall in love themselves. And certainty not with a mere human.
I was taught this dogmatic doctrine and yet I failed as a cupid but I couldn't have been prouder as a man.  For a man is what I had to become to experience my pangs of love.

 

…On my death bed surrounded by my loved one, I received a visit from an old friend. “ You can come out no one “ is around I croaked. “Time has not been kind to you old friend, “my friend from all those years ago said to me. “ it ‘s good to see you here too” I wheezed. The Cupid paused but I could detect a rare sign of emotion: tender concern. Then again it was visiting an old friend once the valedictorian and pride of Eros.  Descended from the original Cupid Me.  “What brings a Cupid to a lonely old dying old man?" I said. “After all you are forbidden to have contact with us lesser beings unless it‘s to meddle. I suggest you remember that old FRIEND”  I said.  It paused before getting on its knees. “Why? It said with tears in his eyes and his voice shaking. Why did you abandon us, no me? It said. I sighed absently touching the locket that contained our picture. Many Cupid’s - namely my family and the other elites asked me that same question before they cast me out. But I had already left before that. “ Indulge a dying old man for a moment”, " I said, placing a withering old hand on its head. 

 

“The world was a dark one. Chaos reigned while good cowered. This was my thought as I wandered the war-torn battlefield. Journaling stories of love and gaining power from the anguish of lost love. This was nothing new to humanity. There have been countless, too many wars in my eternal lifetime. But what was unusual was her. She was a sight to behold. A regular Mulan covered in blood head to toe. And yet she was helping any soldier regardless of outfit. That was not the first time I saw her. If I‘m being honest I had come not to collect the souls for our lord but for her. I have checked in on her from time to time. She -my belle - was an enigma. In her 15-odd years, she had seen unspeakable things. She should have a heart filled with rage and yet she went on smiling. “ Oh it’s you Mr . Beggar," she said to me joking. Even that joke hid sadness behind it, namely my guilt and shame. She had first met me when she was a little girl of about 8. I had been doing one of my usual artifices disguised as a poor beggar. Most people, as they are apt to do, ignored me but not her. “ Why are you dirty?" she asked in her small innocent voice. Because little girl I m a beggar I can not afford any better lifestyle “ I snapped there was something about this girl that made me off put. “ Forgive me sir but I see you for you. I see a pretty - the most pretty man I have ever seen. Come with me. I‘m sure Mama will help “ I stopped her. “You mean a person will only help those that are comely?” I asked. I knew this was to be expected of the human race. So superficial. But what she said shocked - and if  I’m being honest - scared me. No, because you bring love. You make love happen. You brought my mama and papa together before they died. For that thank you Mr beggar “ she said. She knew I thought. She knew what I really was. Somehow  how she could see me for who I was.” Very well I guess my deception is up” I  said taking her small hand into mine. And turning into an impossibly handsome man. Not bragging, just stating a mere fact. As I touched her I could see the goodness in her, her purity from the past, present, and even the future. “See I knew you were pretty on the inside Mr . Beggar,” she said smiling
…
“If it‘s not too much can you carry some of these men “  She said to me on the battlefield.  I scoffed you expect me a cu-“  I‘m well aware of what you are Mr . Beggar She said. But just because you‘re an Angel doesn’t mean you can’t truly be one. These men fought to protect their wives and children. Surely there isn’t nothing more noble than that “ she said. “Yes, but you fought to protect your child while with child. It‘s a child that you were foisted upon boy born out of love. So what does that make you?”   “  I said she blushed. “You know I only have eyes for you, my amour sacrificial “ she said. Now it was my turn to blush. 
…
“Forgive me old friend but as mawkish as this scene is it doesn’t answer my question!” my old friend said impatiently. I smiled and then began coughing. I didn’t have much time left “Settle down, it ‘s not fitting for a Cupid to be overcome by emotion,” I said. “It‘s not fitting for the grandson of the Cupid to give up his immortality for one mere mortal “ they shot back. I paused. “ What would you give your immortality for? I asked. I knew I only had a few minutes at most.  
They just remained silent .” Pity” I said. “I pity you. You are supposedly a creature of love but you can not summon any hate or indignation. You are truly a creature of apathy, I pity you .” Turing with my eyes glazed over. My back to my past. “I’m coming, my belle,”  I said. 
The end