| General Script posted January 19, 2024 | Chapters: |
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A post-covid love affair with words
A chapter in the book Ten Minute Scripts For Two Actors
Lexicography
by Navada
Lights fade up to reveal two desks, positioned on either side of the stage. They are slightly angled inwards so each occupant can see the other while being seen clearly by the audience. CANDICE and JANE work for a company that produces a world-renowned dictionary. CANDICE is a senior editor and JANE is her considerably younger colleague. The two women sit at their respective desks in CANDICE’s office, surrounded by reference books, folders, paper and pens.
INT. CANDICE’S OFFICE CANDICE yawns and stretches CANDICE Right. Let’s recap. How far have we got? JANE Rifles through sheets of paper So far, we’ve covered “pandemic”, “virus”, “lockdown” and “doom-scrolling”. CANDICE Brow furrows Hmmm. Very cheerful. JANE Well, that was the year that was. CANDICE The very definition of an annus horribilis. JANE Indeed. CANDICE So, before we move on, have we created watertight definitions for those terms? JANE Watertight? Is there a flood coming? CANDICE I mean, are they clear? JANE What? CANDICE Would a child understand them? Would they prove helpful for a person who isn’t particularly familiar with the English language? JANE I guess so. CANDICE Well, don’t guess, please. Be sure. Eminent people are trusting us to get this right. JANE So you’ve said. Many times. CANDICE It’s always helpful to keep in mind a clear sense of the scale of this task. JANE Under her breath Helpful for you, perhaps. CANDICE Constructing useful definitions is a good beginning. Have we also sourced appropriate etymological examples? JANE Pardon? CANDICE Etymology. Word origins. Have you found some good examples of when these terms first entered common usage? JANE Um … not yet … CANDICE We need to chart the evolution of each word. We need to provide an example of its first recorded appearance in print. We also need to document any variations or developments in its meaning. You know, semantic changes. JANE Right. CANDICE This research demands more than our competitors would expect, but that’s what makes this dictionary one of the world’s most highly respected and authoritative resources. JANE Yep. CANDICE This is what separates it from the rest of the pack. That, and the fact that it bears the name of one of the world’s oldest and most prestigious institutions of learning. JANE Cool. CANDICE Raises one eyebrow “Cool?” Pause Well, I’m delighted that you grasp the significance of our current enterprise. This is not a common garden everyday project. We’re being entrusted with something special. It’s a high watermark. Something that will continue to shape the way certain words and meanings are employed in the future. We are shaping our language. We are a part of history. Did you know we’re following in the footsteps of the American army surgeon Dr Minor? He was one of the greatest contributors. He spent decades perusing volumes in his personal library and writing down interesting etymological examples by hand. Mind you, he had plenty of time on his hands. He was an inmate of Broadmoor. A lunatic asylum. He played the flute and painted watercolours, but he also committed murder and severed his own appendage with a pen knife. I’m not sure what that says about people who practise lexicography. Nothing good. JANE Drily Golly. Pause CANDICE For my sake, and for the sake of our managing director, I’d encourage you to take this seriously. JANE Have I given you any indication that I’m not? CANDICE Wryly The words “cool” and “golly” qualify as an indication. Words have infinite shades of meaning. There’s a glorious rainbow-coloured spectrum of subtleties out there. JANE Indeed. CANDICE And yet, while engaged in a task dealing with the mother tongue of Shakespeare, you are content for the words “cool” and “golly” to drop from your lips. You sound like a banal adolescent. JANE scowls, but doesn’t reply CANDICE Let’s move on. What’s next? JANE consults a sheet of paper Um … the next term to explore is the word “unify”. I see. CANDICE consults one of the large reference books on her desk What have our predecessors made of this? She flicks through the pages Ah. Here we are. “Unify”. Verb. This source suggests it has Latin origins. JANE Really? CANDICE From the early sixteenth century, apparently. Unificare. “Make into a whole”. She circumscribes an imaginary globe in mid-air with both hands JANE What kind of hole? Like a pit? Or a quarry? CANDICE Ah, if only yours was a “whole” wit. Instead, I find myself dealing with a half-wit. JANE What? CANDICE Never mind. Let’s settle on a definition. JANE Thoughtfully “Unify” … CANDICE Thoughtfully “Unify” … JANE What does it mean to unify? CANDICE What do you think it means? JANE To initiate somebody into university life? CANDICE Pardon? JANE You know, pub crawls, low-level good-natured hazing … CANDICE Yes, yes, I’m familiar with the concept. But how are you linking that with … JANE “Unify?” UNI … fy? CANDICE Unimpressed Oh, I see. Very droll. JANE Sorry? CANDICE Your pun. JANE What pun? CANDICE Rolls her eyes Never mind. Let’s try a more sophisticated approach. Let’s play word association. JANE If we must. CANDICE How else would you suggest arriving at a workable definition? JANE By looking up someone else’s? CANDICE I see. When entrusted with creating definitions for a world-leading dictionary, your solution is plagiarism. JANE Surely exploring existing definitions is a valid starting point. You just consulted a text to discover Latin origins. CANDICE That’s because I … oh, never mind. JANE What? CANDICE Look at your books. They each flick through a few reference books in silence JANE What about “to unite?” CANDICE That seems rather obvious. What about “to bring together?” JANE Also pretty obvious. Um … “to combine?” CANDICE “To conjoin?” JANE “Integrate?” CANDICE “Amalgamate?” The speed of delivery increases; they begin to swap terms at a rapid-fire pace JANE “Fuse?” CANDICE “Mix?” JANE “Merge?” CANDICE “Blend?” JANE “Bind?” CANDICE “Link?” JANE “Weld?” CANDICE “Meld?” They both start to grin – this is a fun game JANE Pronounces the next word rather slowly, as if tasting it “Synthesise.” CANDICE Nice! Pause Similarly lingers over the next word, enjoying it “Federalise.” JANE Oh, that’s quite a specific shade of meaning there. Political overtones. Very nice. Pause CANDICE “Coalesce.” JANE Ooh, fancy! Pause CANDICE Um … what about … “harmonise?” JANE In the style of the movie character Babe “La, la, la!” They both giggle CANDICE Here’s one. “Conjugate.” JANE Hmmm. As in pertaining to verbs, or pertaining to one’s wedding night? CANDICE I think you’ll find that word is “consummate.” JANE Oh, close enough. CANDICE Either way, it signals connection. They giggle once more JANE Thoughtfully You say that in jest, and who doesn’t love a double entendre? But I think you have a point. CANDICE I do? JANE Whenever I hear the word “unify", I don’t think immediately of … things … of combining ingredients in a kitchen or mixing substances in a laboratory. I think of … people. CANDICE Go on. JANE Surely, if we learnt nothing else during lockdowns, we recognised anew the value of other people. Friends, family, colleagues, pets, loved ones of all types. “Isolation” wasn’t just an arbitrary definition during lockdown. We lived it. We felt it. And it taught us unexpected things. We experienced enforced separation from other members of our tribe. And we found ourselves mourning their absence. More than we anticipated. CANDICE nods silently When defining the word “unify”, what better way to do so than to emphasise the way it evokes genuine connection between people? CANDICE Hmm. The perfect form of nuance. Pause “Unify” – “to re-unite. Through unity, we … recover.” They each reflect on this concept and what it means for them JANE Recovery. Like furniture. CANDICE Sorry? JANE You know. Recovery. My Nan is getting her couch recovered as we speak. Pause CANDICE Oh, Good Lord above, deliver me. Lights fade out 
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