"So, my wife is in the hospital and has not evacuated her bowels for over a week. 

I had her rise from the bed and sit on a commode, then lay her head on the bed. 

I put on a blue glove and ..."

"Stop, Dad," said my daughter. "Pretend I’m not interested in the depth of this procedure."

“Go on!” said an elderly woman through the curtain in the next stall.

“Oh, Bill!” said my wife. “I am so embarrassed.”

“Calm down, Sweety,” said the woman again. “Go ahead, Bill.”