Me. Her. Him - Chapter 70

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

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August 2002

Rebecca’s crying splits the silence. My eyes flutter open. I linger in bed for a few moments, waiting to hear the sound of Caz getting up in the room next door. But there’s nothing. No sound of movement. I hardly slept last night. My conversation with Caz kept replaying on loop inside my head. I could see visions of my lying in hospital when I was sixteen, the doctor’s sorrowful look as he told me I might never have children, and then Caz, trying to pass Rebecca to me as though she was simply a bag of sweets. I thump my duvet. How can Caz want to do this?

Rebecca continues to cry. Her screech is getting stronger and stronger. She must need changing, or feeding. Why isn’t Caz getting up to help her daughter?

Another five minutes pass, with no action. My alarm clock’s saying its quarter past six. I fling my covers off and get out of bed; there’ll be no chance in hell of getting back to sleep now, not if Rebecca continues to cry. I want to yell at Caz to stop being selfish, but I know it won’t be helpful.

The hallway is bathed in an eerie grey glow, where the weak morning light is seeping through the window. The grandfather clock ticking, fills my head. I’m surprised Michelle hasn’t stirred, with Rebecca crying, but then I can’t imagine her getting up and offering to help Caz with Rebecca. She’ll know in the end I’ll get up and do it.

I push open Caz’s bedroom door. I can see Rebecca squirming in her travel cot, her face turning red as she screams; big fat tears are streaking down her cheeks. White hot anger pulses through me as my eyes fall on Caz. She’s sitting on the end of her bed, her hands pressed into her thighs. She doesn’t even seem to have realised I’ve walked in.

‘Caz,’ I say, trying to keep the tone of my voice gentle.

My eyes flicker from Rebecca to Caz. Caz still doesn’t look in my direction.

‘I know,’ Caz says, and I hear the frustration in her voice.

I shake my head. ‘Caz, you can’t just sit there, you’re daughter needs you. She either needs feeding, or changing. Come on, if you get up, I’ll help you.’

‘I’ll deal with it in a moment,’ Caz says, slamming her heel into the bottom of the bed, which makes me flinch.

I go to say something, but instead I cross the room to Rebecca’s cot and hoist her out. Almost at once her cries seem to soften a little, but her face is still red. I wonder if she’s suffering from colic.

‘Caz, you can’t pick and choose when you tend to your daughter. She needs to be the centre of your world now.’

Caz looks over her shoulder, her facial expression blank. ‘Well, you seem to be doing perfectly fine. I’m going to make a coffee.’

She stands up from her bed, and I watch in disbelief as she heads out of the room, and into the hallway. Surely Michelle must be awake. She must be listening to what’s going on. She must hear the frustration in my voice. Why isn’t she getting up to help?

‘Caz,’ I say, stepping out after her, resting my hand on Rebecca’s head, in my attempt to try and get her to stop crying. I can’t even control the anger in my voice now. Caz continues to make for the stairs; she doesn’t even look back at me. ‘Caz, listen to me.’

I reach out to grab her shoulder as she reaches the top of her stairs, her hand reaching out for the bannister. She turns round, her foot hovering in the air as she’s about to step onto the top step.

Everything that happens next seems to happen in slow motion. Caz realises what’s happening far too late, she’s still, sort of, half asleep.

Her face is wild, as her body slumps forward. She’s not quick enough to grab hold of the bannister, and I only stand there, watching in horror as the scene unfolds before me. Then, Caz is lying slumped at the bottom of the stairs. Her head’s come into contact with the sharp edge at the bottom.

‘Michelle!’

My voice comes out in a strangled cry. I can’t move. Caz isn’t getting up. She’s lying there, still. Dead. Alive. I don’t know. Oh God, Caz.

I hear Michelle’s bedroom door open. This can’t be happening. In the next moment, Michelle’s thundering down the stairs to where Caz is lying.

‘What the hell?’ she says, horror and fear etched in her voice.

‘It was an accident,’ I reply, the words coming out of my mouth thick and fast, as I try to think of how to defend myself. ‘She went out to take hold of the bannister and she slipped. I didn’t mean. We need to call an ambulance, Michelle.’

Michelle’s checking for signs of life, feeling for a pulse. She doesn’t answer my plea.

‘Michelle. We need to call for an –’

Michelle slumps back, shaking her head. ‘It’s too late for that, Angela.’

I reach out and grab hold of the bannister. ‘What?’

‘A blow like that could kill someone,’ she says.

‘No.’ The world around me is spinning out of control. I grip hold of Rebecca tighter in my arms. I wonder just how much she’s able to process. Her mum lying there so, so still; my fear; the horror of the situation, weighing down on me, surely Rebecca must be able to sense something. ‘No, she can’t be dead, an ambulance, Michelle, we need to, she needs to see a doctor.’

Within a few seconds Michelle’s standing at the top of the stairs with me.

‘Are you sure about that, Angela?’ Michelle says, her voice coming out calm and controlled.

I stare at her, unable to process what she’s saying. ‘What do you mean? We’ve got to help her, Michelle.’

Michelle shakes her head. ‘Think about it, Angela who was here to witness what happened?’

She’s staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to answer. Her eyes are big and wide.

‘I don’t know what you mean, you’re here with me.’

Again Michelle shakes her head vehemently. ‘But I didn’t see what happened, Angela. Think about it, we call an ambulance and the paramedics pronounce Caz dead here at the scene and they alert the police. The police come and interview us. Do you seriously think they’re going to believe us? This isn’t even our house for starters, Angela. Our stories aren’t always going to tie up, even if we do sit down together and work out what to say. We could both end up facing charges here. There’s no one else, apart from us, to back our stories up, Angela. We’ll be throwing our whole lives away if we call an ambulance, and plus Rebecca will be taken into care. Do you want that?’

I hold Rebecca tighter in my arms. Rebecca . . . in care. I stare at Caz. Why the hell is this happening? I want to be sick. I want to crumple into a heap onto the floor. Caz needs help. What if the paramedics can help her? She might not be dead.

‘We can’t, Michelle,’ I say, my voice coming out in a squeak.

‘Angela, there are places round here where a body won’t be found, everything will be fine, I’ll take care of it.’

‘But what about . . . what about Rebecca?’

Michelle grips hold of my hand, as if to say to me everything’s going to be okay. But how the hell can it be? How the hell will I be able to live with myself?

I glance once more back at Caz at the bottom of the stairs, but still, she doesn’t move. Perhaps Michelle is right, surely, if she was still alive she would’ve made some sort of movement by now. Rebecca squirms in my arms; at least she’s quietened down.

‘Well, Caz wanted you to take Rebecca anyway, didn’t she?’ Michelle says, almost in a matter of fact kind of way. ‘It’ll be very easy to pass her off as your own child.’

‘It won’t work, Michelle, people will ask questions. What about my family, they’ll want to know why I never told them I was pregnant, if we’re going to tell them Rebecca’s mine?’

‘It will work if you follow every instruction I give you.’ A cold shiver pulses through me. Michelle lets go of my hand and heads back down to the bottom of the stairs to where Caz is lying. ‘You’re going to have to help me move her; we can’t leave her here like this. Think about it, isn’t this always what you’ve wanted, to be a mother. This could be your chance.’

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Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend