Me. Her. Him - Chapter 63

by Jacob1395

Background
Angela has spent nearly half her life hiding from a man in her past. But when he finally tracks her down, it isn't him she's scared of. It's what he knows.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

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July 2002

‘She’s perfect,’ I say, gazing down at Caz’s daughter resting on her chest, her blue eyes taking in her new surroundings.

I’m glad that Caz’s daughter hasn’t inherited William’s eyes. There’s no way I could still be standing here now if she reminded me of him. It was a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind while Caz was pregnant, that her baby might resemble William. I hadn’t thought how I might deal with that.

Caz smiles faintly at her daughter, then at me. The steady beep of machinery is the only sound that fills the room. The distant sound of people hurrying about in the corridor outside the room also reaches my ears. I can’t believe how much I feel for Caz’s daughter. It’s almost as if she’s my own, and I’ll do anything to protect her.

Michelle decided to wait for us at home, telling me she wasn’t a fan of hospitals. It was me holding Caz’s hand as she gave birth, a job that should’ve been William’s.

I’m not sure if Caz will be permitted to leave hospital tonight, but I shouldn’t see why not. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay with her if she has to stay overnight. She’d only been in labour for a couple of hours; it was over and done with quite quickly. I’d heard of some people being in labour for more than twelve hours.

‘Well, I know one thing. I am never going through that again,’ Caz groans. ‘But I guess it was kind of worth it.’

I laugh at Caz. ‘’Course it was, just think of the future you have together, it’s going to be amazing.’

‘Yeah.’ Caz murmurs the word so softly, I barely hear it.

‘Have you thought of what you’re going to call her?’ I say.

I feel the urge to take hold of her daughter’s tiny hand, as if to reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and that the world isn’t this big and frightening place, that it must seem like to her at the moment. A spike of jealousy surges through me how I think I’ll never experience this moment of bliss. I imagine feeling my own daughter, or son’s heartbeat against mine. In a moment I imagine picking Caz’s daughter up and running out of the room with her. I want her to be mine. I shake the thought out of my head, what the hell am I thinking? I perch myself on the end of Caz’s bed, resisting the urge to walk out of the room. Caz and her daughter need me.

‘You know what, I have no idea. It’s something I haven’t given much thought. It was such a shock to find out I was pregnant in the first place and then with William’s reaction.’ Her voice cracks as she says the last part of her sentence. In that moment I wonder if she still has any feelings for William. They were together for a good few years. There must’ve been something between them to keep them together. ‘There’s no one who I want to name her after, no one in my good for nothing family.’

I can’t believe she hasn’t even come up with an idea of what to call her baby? She’s had nine months to think of this. In my head I’ve been thinking about names, but they’ve mainly been ideas for a boy. Caz hadn’t wanted to be told the sex of the baby when she went for her check-ups. If I was in her position, I’d want to know everything so I could prepare.

‘How about you name her after the midwife?’ I say.

Caz frowns. ‘I wasn’t paying any attention to what her name was. I was in too much bloody pain.’

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. It’s like she doesn’t care. This is her child. Her own flesh and blood.

‘I think . . . I think it was Rebecca,’ I say.

Caz looks down at her daughter. ‘Yeah, Rebecca. It kind of suits her, doesn’t it?’

A warm fuzziness enters my stomach.

‘You’re going to be a great Mum, Caz, you will be.’

Caz doesn’t respond.

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Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband