Me. Her. Him - Chapter 60

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

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October 2001

Caz is sitting hunched over on the edge of the sofa, her arms are clasped in a protective way, around her stomach. Michelle’s standing in the kitchen, arms folded across her chest. She’s looking at me with wide eyes, as though imploring me to get rid of Caz, to make her see sense. But what the hell is she expecting me to say? I can’t tell Caz to leave in the state she’s in, despite how we left things the last time we saw each other. All I can think is that something bad must have happened for her to want to come here.

‘Talk me through what happened,’ I say to her, handing her a cup of tea.

She looks up at me. Mascara’s running down her cheeks.

‘I . . . look, I really didn’t want to bother you, after what happened between us the last time we saw each other, you know, but I, there was really no one else. You don’t know the relief I felt when you opened the door. I was half expecting you to have moved on, it’s been so long since I last saw you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had. It’s been such a long time.’ She tips her head back, squeezes her eyes shut, and then opens them again. ‘William he . . . he threw me out.’

I’m surprised to hear she’s even still with William; especially as she found out we had the briefest of affairs. Although, I’m not sure if I’d really call it an affair anyway. We’d never had full on sex. Just a kiss and a cuddle. I shift in my seat.

‘Why did he throw you out?’ I ask.  

Caz takes a sip of her drink, and squeezes her eyes tight. I can tell she’s fighting back tears.

‘I told him I was . . . I was pregnant,’ she says. ‘He . . . he didn’t take well to the news and he, he demanded I get rid of it. I can’t get rid of it, you know, it’s a . . . it’s a life growing inside me. Believe me this wasn’t planned, it was reckless of me not to insist he wear protection, but.’ 

She dissolves into tears. I look up at Michelle. Her features on her face have softened a little, but she still remains where she is, as though Caz is carrying some terrible disease. Caz is pregnant. I process her words. She’s pregnant. In in an instant I’m seven years in the past and processing the same news my sister told me, when she told me she was pregnant with twins. I need to stay calm. She's pregnant and William threw her out. I feel sick. 

‘What about your parents,’ I say. My mouth is dry. ‘Wouldn’t they want to . . . ?’

‘I’ve told you before I don’t get on with my parents, there’s no way they’re going to want to look after me, especially with a child in tow as well.’

‘But they’re your family, Caz,’ I say.

‘I’m not going back to them,’ Caz says, spittle flying out of her mouth, as she wipes her eyes. ‘No way.’

‘Okay, okay,’ I say.

Caz takes another long gulp of tea before banging the mug on the coffee table which makes me jump. I can’t think straight.

‘So, what are you thinking of?’ Michelle asks. ‘What’s your plan?’

‘I just, I just wondered if, well, if I could possibly stay with you for a few months, just until I get myself on my feet and got a place to live. I can always go to the council for that, can’t I? I can’t go back to William, he . . . he chucked me out with all my stuff still in his place. He turned the volume of the television up as loud as it could go when I was banging my hands on the door, begging to be let in.’

I wonder if the council really will be able to help Caz. Surely they’d say the best support she could get is by being with the baby’s father. But then if she says William was abusive, they’d have to class her as vulnerable, surely. I keep the thought to myself.

‘Didn’t your neighbours hear anything?’ I say, shuddering as a picture forms in my mind of Caz standing out on the street, tears streaming down her face.

Caz laughs. ‘No one gives a damn about anyone on our estate, arguments happen all the time.’

I process everything she’s told me. My mind keeps returning to the last time I saw William, when the money went missing. Hatred grips my spine. Caz stood by him, and she insisted he’d done nothing wrong. She went back to him, and now she expects us to just take her in as though nothing happened, but then it looks like she’s paying the price for that decision now. I look at Michelle. I can tell she’s waiting for me to be the one to make a decision. She’ll judge me on whatever I say. I know we can’t just throw Caz out.

‘Why don’t you stay with us for the next couple of nights at least, and then we can make a proper decision then?’ I suggest.

Before I have chance to react, Caz throws her arms around me. I want to kick myself. I shouldn’t be getting involved with her again, not after what happened last time. I can’t bring myself to push Caz away from me.

‘Thank you, thank you, you have no idea what this means to me.’

I rub her back as she sobs into my shoulder, which does nothing to relieve the tension I’m feeling, and meet Michelle’s eyes. Michelle shakes her head and makes her way outside, closing the patio doors behind her.

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Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend