Biographical Non-Fiction posted December 7, 2023 Chapters:  ...16 17 -18- 19... 


The door opened what's coming through?

A chapter in the book Spectre

The Return

by Lea Tonin1




Background
Artwork by Lea Tonin
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The quiet cape of nature's bliss.
Surrounding feelings of peace.
Drifting mist through tall stands of grass.
A fog she shifts in a groovy dance.
 
Disturbed only by movement born.
White tail dusting the cloudy air.
Vaporous fingers on pale stretched legs.
Pops the canines face of smiles.
 
The tongue in happy dangling.
Carves trails in dews embrace
Pomeranian companion, joy is her game
Spirit's her name in beautific simplicity
 
************************************present
 
Not ten minutes ago, the jangle of the phone disturbed the fragile peace. It rang four or five times before my uncle picked up.
In the background I could hear uncles voice in answer.
 
"Hello..."
Pause
"I'm fine, how're you?"
Pause
"Not bad..."
Pause
"It's fine. She does her thing and I do mine."
Pause
"There's no need for that. She's no trouble."
Pause
"News to me, never seen that here."
Pause 
"Ya well, I'm not gonna do that. Okay? Yup....take care, bye."
 
"Hey!" Uncle says loudly. " Apparently you're evil  incarnate and live off the avails of crime!" 
Uncle chuckles, shaking his head. He knows....
 
Another effort to have me ousted into the street. She tried to manipulate uncle again to have me removed.
What is it? I cannot understand such drive to hurt someone else! I can't even think of such a thing!
 
To purposely set out and damage someone, to create homelessness and another emotional scar. 
Who does that? That is not human!
Forgive my rant.
As she continues to mess with my personal space, it is difficult not to retaliate. My retaliation comes in the form of silence. The quieter, the better.
How am I feeling? 
Pissed. 
 
The poem above, I wrote this morning. Just standing in the yard watching my dog bounce in the grass. It occurred to me, what a nice beginning to a chapter that may not be so nice.
I think it's better to think of the poem, instead of how annoyed I might be.
So we've gone for in-depth DNA testing, my sister and I. A deeper look than just, who's mom or who's dad.  I am who I am. What they did resulted in me, my sister and then of course, my youngest sister too are products of our environment.
 
"Steady the course." I keep telling myself.
"With the wind at your back, just steady the course." An old phrase but, a very apropos one.
It's a nice thought though which sometimes helps.
 
Let's look in on her...
We'll do this a fair amount... you the reader, and myself.
 
I've got two horses here...one for myself...and finally, one for you.
 
I'm glad your here to ride the guantlet with me....
 
*****************************Past
 

Hearing a woman softly weep disturbed me greatly. Something was terribly wrong.

It was a certain wail, a certain keen that escaped her throat at varying levels. I knew that sound. An odd familiarity.  A memory of a sound of pain.

The same sound's that came from my sister's mouths...and mine.

The hair on my arms and the back of my neck were zinging with little electrical shocks adding to my already alert state.  I could not stop myself from going and listening from the bottom of the stairs.

I could hear no children crying. Just the weeping of a woman and a low sinister murmer only a man could make. 

I looked to my right and noticed the front door was slightly ajar. Seemed maybe he was in a hurry to come in or too lazy to shut it properly. I didn't know which.

I listened for further signs of distress, I could feel the aching strain in the air. A thick sensation of frightening anticipation.

After a few minutes, I saw her silhouette walk across the hallway entrance into the kitchen. She turned her tear filled face to me and gave me a small smile, her hand making a downward gesture as if to say,

"Stay...all is well. You can go down now."

Not all of me was buying that. The gut feeling of dread would not leave me. It became more urgent as the seconds ticked passed.

I walked uncertainly away. Not sure of whether I should stay or go. My senses however, remained on high alert.

I kept my ears tightly tuned and my other sense highly aware. Tested for any changes in pressure or thickness in the air. Attuned to any sign of danger, I knew I would feel it quickly.

Sleep could not be attained under such conditions. The night crawled like a centipede across a leaf eating as it went.

I waited for signs of sunrise, keeping my ears and senses alive the whole time. Finally, in what seemed like forever, I could hear the sound of small feet padding down the hallway toward what indicated was the kitchen area.

I waited and then heard a slightly longer and heavier stride down the hallway which sounded like Mrs. D.s step.

My suspicions and my fears would not abate though. At that time, things seemed normal. I knew it wasn't. I would soon find out how right I was.

I heard Mrs. D moving around the kitchen and the smell of food soon wafted down to me. My stomach growled in spite of my "on alert" status.

A couple minutes later, the oldest son came down, smiled at me and gave me the peace sign.  He then waived at me to come up. 

I didn't know if Mr. D would be joining us, or if this false impression of peace was going to blow up at any time.

I didn't see Mr. D at the breakfast table. Just myself, the two children and Mrs. D who served up a lovely breakfast of eggs, rice and sausage with the usual serving of naan and chai tea.

I heard a toilet flush down the hallway. My heart picked up a beat. I knew it was Mr. D coming down to the table.

I looked up at Mrs. D, she again waived her hand downward.

I sat quietly. Mr. D came to the table and greeted his sons then looked down on me with his large, flat black eyes.

"I'm berry sorry." He clasped his two hands together as if in prayer.

I looked at him, not knowing how to respond, I just nodded at him.

Breakfast was held in an awkward silence, the tension barely disquised in phony smiles. I remained on yellow alert.

I was afraid that something would happen when I wasn't there. Afraid that I would come home to something brutal. Even worse, that I would come home to something dead.

My senses would not let me go.

So I watched.

I listened. 

I gave all my attention....

 

I didn't wait for long....

 
*****************************
I had not yet learned that chaos followed me wherever I went. Like a magnet South to North. Any direction I went, so did it.
Or perhaps a picture attached to your fridge. The image remained as long as the magnet held its sway.
 
Thinking back on those days and of how many that went by when I didn't know any better.
I wasn't sure if I was doing good or making yet another mistake.
Such was life though when you're unprepared. When all you had was your rage.
 
So I forged ahead regardless...with many bumps along the way....



Recognized


This is a chapter in an auto bio called Spectre. Book two in a trilogy, book one is called Ghost. Both can be found in my portfolio should you wish to read A word of caution. Some chapters are hard to digest. Reader discretion is advised.
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