Me. Her. Him - Chapter 22

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

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September 1998

Cigarette smoke races out of my lips. I watch it curl into the gaps of a grate at my feet. My throats still burning from the Sambuca shot I’ve just downed, I’ve never been keen on shots, but I didn’t want to be the odd one out. They leave an after taste in my mouth for ages, which is always bitter on my tongue, and no amount of toothpaste can seem to get rid of it.

Although it’s September, the night air is still muggy, and my shirts sticking to my skin. I had to get out of the club, just for a minute. In the background I can hear the music from inside booming.

‘Needed some air, did you? It is getting a bit stuffy in there. Can I borrow your light?’ I detect a Northern accent.

I snap my head round. A red haired girl is beaming at me. She’s wearing a loosely fitted, sparkly top, and a tight pair of jeans. Her lips are a darker shade of red than her hair. She almost looks as though she’s stepped out of a fairy tale.

‘Sure,’ I say passing over my light.

She lights up, and gives a generous sigh, puffing out smoke, and then she grins.

‘God, that’s good, I’ve been dying for a cigarette all evening. I normally always have my lighter on me, but I put on a different jacket by mistake. I know it’s still warm, but I always feel the cold, no matter the time of year, I’m Caroline,’ she says. ‘My friends call me Caz for short. My Nan was called Caroline, so it always makes me think of her, when people call me by my full name, you know, and then people start singing Sweet Caroline at me.’

I laugh. ‘Well, I promise I won’t sing at you, I’m pretty rubbish at it. I’m Angela.’

I finish taking a drag on my cigarette, before I throw it to the ground, and stamp on it. I don’t smoke a lot. It’s very rare that I light up a cigarette at home. I’m trying to kick the habit in, but I always get a craving for one whenever I’m out, especially after a few drinks, it’s always too hard to ignore.

There are only a few other people hanging around outside the club. There are a couple of boys standing a few feet away. They started making crude gestures to me, the moment I stepped out, which I responded to with the finger. A year ago I would’ve gone over to them, and started chatting; I loved teasing boy’s while I was at uni, but I can’t be done with it all now. It pains me that it might be a sign I’m growing up.

‘Come here often?’ Caz asks, taking another drag on her cigarette.

It doesn’t look like she’s keen to get out of my way.

‘No, we’ve only just moved here. My friend’s got a place in Pimlico; we’re staying there for a few months.’

‘That’s pretty cool, must be posh if you’re living in Pimlico. This place is a bit drab, if I’m honest. If you want to have a great night out, Newcastle’s the place to go.’

‘I promise you we’re not posh.’ I laugh. ‘Is that where you’re from, Newcastle?’

She grins. ‘Oh of course the accents always a dead giveaway. Well, I grew up there, yeah, but decided to move to London a couple of years ago. My family couldn’t care less about me. They’ve not been in touch with me once since I moved down south, you know. Shall we go back in?’ She gestures towards the entrance to the club, which is pulling me towards it like a magnet.

It doesn’t look like Caz is with anyone else. I feel uncomfortable about the prospect of leaving her on her own, especially with the group of boys still lingering outside the club, although she seems confident enough to handle herself. I have a feeling she’s slightly older than me.

We push our way back into the club, the crowd of sweaty bodies pulling us deeper in. I’d left Lauren, Hayley and Michelle at a table by the bar. Lauren’s at the bar now. I spot her familiar sunflower hair. Her hands are placed firmly on the surface. She told me she had a bit of a thing for the barman. She always seems to go for boy’s who look like they’ve just stepped out of a fashion magazine. That’s not what I’m really into at all. I prefer boy’s with a slightly more rustic appearance. Groove Is in the Heart is reverberating around me. I pick out Hayley and Michelle where I left them. Hayley’s gazing into the crowd on the dance floor, as though she’s itching to find an excuse to join them. Michelle’s looking up to the ceiling, and holding her hand to her chest. Her cheeks are red. Why she didn’t take the opportunity to step outside with me, but then she hates it when I smoke. Michelle would’ve probably given Caz short shrift if Caz had come up to her.

‘This is Caz,’ I shout to Hayley and Michelle.

Both of their faces light up when they see me. Surely they both could’ve found something to talk about while I was outside without me being here.

‘Hiya,’ Caz says to them both, her eyes seem to linger on Michelle a little longer, before she turns back round to Hayley. Perhaps she’s trying to work out why Michelle’s with us. Even I have to admit she does stand out whenever we go out as a group.

‘Lauren’s getting the next round in,’ Hayley says, leaning across the table so we can hear her. ‘What are you drinking, Caz? If you hurry you might just grab her.’

‘It’s gotta be a Vodka Diet Coke for me, always, always, on a night out,’ she says.

‘I’ll speak to Lauren,’ I shout, my voice croaking in the back of my throat.

I’m aware Michelle’s followed me. She grabs my shoulder, before I have a chance to squeeze in beside Lauren, almost making me stumble. I grip hold of her hand to steady myself.

‘Who the hell is she?’ Michelle spits. The wine on her breath hits me in the face.

I glance over her shoulder. Caz has now taken her place and is chatting to Hayley. They both throw their heads back and laugh.  In my mind, I imagine they’re laughing at Michelle. My stomach groans. If they are, and Michelle’s heard them, then we’re going to have to face Michelle moping about it for the next few days. She has a terrible habit of holding onto a grudge, even years down the line, and I’m the only person she’ll speak to if someone’s said something to upset her, which means I get the brunt of all the pent up energy.

‘Oh, I just got talking to her outside, she seems nice.’

‘But she’s a stranger.’

‘So what,’ I say shrugging, hearing the exasperation in my voice. ‘People make friends on nights out. Relax. She’ll probably stay with us for a couple of drinks, then be on her way. She’s not likely to be a serial killer, Michelle if that’s what you’re worried about.’ I laugh.

Michelle folds her arms across her chest. She’s seen now that Caz has taken her seat. That’ll get her back up. But there’s no way she’ll go up to her and ask to have it back, she’ll be willing me to speak to Caz about it.

‘Angela, you can’t keep taking in strays,’ she says.

My skin bristles. She’s referring to what I was like when I was at university. If ever I saw someone sitting on their own, I’d always invite them over to join us. It was how I first made friends with Michelle; she must think in her mind that when we first met, it didn’t happen that way. It wasn’t that I took pity on her when we first met; I’ve just always been like this, ever since I was small. If anyone new started at school, I used to always be the person to offer to show them around, or I would sit next to them in class, so they didn’t feel left out.

‘Michelle, I’m not. For God’s sake, just have some fun, lighten up.’

‘I’m going to head back.’ It sounds as though she’s holding back tears. ‘I’ll leave you to have fun with whatever her name is.’

I picture her calling us all sorts of things as she makes her way back home, as a way to direct her anger.

I grab her arm. ‘Michelle, don’t be like that. Stay and have one more drink. We’ll all be heading home shortly.’

‘No it’s fine. I was thinking of leaving anyway, I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll leave the key under the mat.’ She purses her lips. ‘One day, Angela, you may just find out that you might make friends with the wrong person.’

I gaze after her but she soon becomes immersed in the crowd. Perhaps she’s thinking I’ll offer to walk back with her. Part of me thinks I should follow her. I shouldn’t be letting her walk back on her own in the dark. But it’s only a ten minute walk back to the flat, and she doesn’t exactly look like she’s going to be the best company right now. Plus I don’t want to leave the club just yet. I’ll speak to her tomorrow, although I suspect I’ll be too hammered to be able to pay any attention to whatever she says.

I put on a smile, join Lauren at the bar, and try to catch the attention of the fashion mag barman.

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Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend