Me. Her. Him - Chapter Fifteen

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

It’s ten to twelve. I’m outside Rebecca’s café. It’s a quaint shop. A couple of men, dressed in bright green cycling gear, are sitting outside, their hands clasped around cups of coffee.

I squint, I can’t quite make Rebecca out inside, but then I see her. My shoulders drop.

Pulling out my phone I open it and scroll through Facebook. My message to Hayley last week remains unanswered. She’s doing this to me on purpose. If only I could just know she’d received and seen it, at least then I would know not to expect a reply.

‘Ready?’

My body jolts forward. Rebecca’s talking to me. I hadn’t even noticed she’d come out of the shop. I smile, and shove my phone in my pocket, it’s like I’ve been caught cheating in a school exam. Rebecca’s grinning at me. 

‘Hey sweetheart, come on, I’m starving.’

I link arms with hers, and allow her to tell me about her day.

There’s a queue of people at the till already in the café. I join the end, and watch Rebecca grab a table in the far corner of the shop, her eyes on her phone. Like always. I look back to the counter.

I love the pretty low lights they have hanging over the tables inside. It gives the place a very cosy feeling.

‘I ordered you a ham and cheese toasted Panini,’ I say, joining Rebecca at the table, relieved I can finally sit down; my legs are beginning to ache.

‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ Rebecca says, typing something furiously on her phone, before placing it face down on the table. She never does put it back in her pocket. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve told her that someone may nick it, if she leaves it in plain view like that for all to see. But who am I, with all the years of experience and wise advice? She sits back in her seat. ‘Wish I could spontaneously be given time off work. I had some woman in today, and yeah, I get she probably doesn’t get out much, and might not see people from one day to the next, but she started asking me a load of questions like, if I planned on staying at the café permanently, and if I ever wanted to go to university. It was a bit weird, if I’m honest, but then we do sometimes get people like that, lonely people. I always try and engage with them if I can, but it doesn’t help if it’s busy.’

‘Yes, it’s never happened before, the server going down, at least not while I’ve been there. It’ll be a one off fluke, I suspect. But it’s meant I can come and meet you for lunch. That’s a treat we don’t often get nowadays.’ My stomach squirms. I think of them all at work, talking about me. Will anyone, other than Kirsty, be brave enough to text me, to try and find out what’s happened? I take a sip of my drink, but my body still remains tight. ‘So, talk to me more about what you were telling us last night, about this new discovery from the James Webb thingy.’

The waitress arrives with our sandwiches and places them in front of us. I hadn’t been able to resist the sausage rolls behind the counter. At least I should try and make myself feel better somehow, even with everything that’s going on. It isn’t often I indulge in a treat like this.

‘Telescope, James Webb Space Telescope, Mum,’ Rebecca says.

She bites into her sandwich, and fills me in on what it was she was trying to explain to us last night. Even now, her words really aren’t sinking in.

‘Fascinating.’ I break a piece off of my sausage roll, and place it in my mouth; the pastry crumples on my tongue.

‘So if you’ve got tomorrow off as well, what are you going to get done?’ she asks.

‘Oh, I’m not going to be able to do anything too exciting,’ I reply, keeping the thought of me meeting Michelle far back in my mind. ‘I could start thinking about doing some Christmas shopping, or tackle some of the house work that needs doing.’

Rebecca throws her head back and laughs. ‘What house work? Honestly Mum it’s spotless at home. I wish you wouldn’t, I put something down, and within five seconds you’ve tidied it away. You’re forever going round and polishing the place from top to bottom, like you’ve been possessed by some mad demon. You know you’ve probably damaged our immune systems by not exposing us to germs on a regular basis.’

‘Don’t say that, I won’t be able to stop thinking about that thought now.’ 

‘Well, none of us have ever really come down with any serious illnesses in the past, so I think we’re alright, Mum,’ Rebecca says, still grinning. ‘Come on, you know I’m only pulling your leg.’

I smile to reassure her I know she’s joking.

‘Yeah, of course.’

‘Something is up with you though, Mum, isn’t it?’ Rebecca says, putting her sandwich back on her plate.

In an instant, I’m on red alert.

‘Why do you say that?’ I ask, my words coming out fast. Of course, she spoke to Paul about me, she was going to mention something to me sooner rather than later.

Her eyes soften. ‘Dad’s worried about you. And I have to admit, I’ve noticed you’ve been acting a bit strange these last couple of weeks, especially with you not sleeping. You used to struggle with getting to sleep when I was small, but you’ve got better in recent years.’

‘You don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart,’ I say. ‘But . . .’

‘But what?’

Shit. Shit. Shit. I try to search my mind for something else to talk about but there’s nothing.

‘It’s probably nothing, but, have you noticed if Paul . . . if your dad’s been texting, a lot more than usual lately? I know it sounds silly, but it’s just bothering me, that’s all. He’s on his phone a lot at the moment.’

I study her face for any sign of what’s going on inside her brain. 

She stares at me, her eyes big and wide, not giving anything away. Rats. ‘So is that what you’ve been worried about? Dad, texting.’

‘No, I . . . well, it’s just I’ve noticed he’s spending a lot of time on his phone, and he’s not normally like that. He’s not been leaving it around like he normally does. It just seems a bit strange to me, that’s all.’

‘Mum, you’re not thinking Dad’s cheating on you, are you?’ Rebecca’s voice has turned cold.

‘No, of course not.’ My voice comes out sharper than I intended, which makes several people turn round and stare. Rebecca flinches. ‘I’m sorry. I know I’ve never been one to talk about my problems, but Paul always does. There’s something going on with him, and this time, he’s not opening up to me. Look, forget about it, I’m sure it’s nothing.’

Why did I have to open my big mouth? Rebecca picks up her sandwich and finishes it off. Bloody hell, I can’t believe I snapped at her like that, what's happening to me?

Rebecca wipes crumbs from her lips. ‘Perhaps, and again it’s only a theory, perhaps he’s speaking to someone to like try and get advice, something like that, I don’t know,’ she says, her voice coming out cautious.

‘Advice?’ I say, wondering if I heard her correctly.

‘About . . .’

Rebecca seems unable to get her words out. Her eyes are flickering around the café. She’s attempting to try and find a way out of this conversation.

‘Come on Rebecca, advice with what?’ I say stiffly, keeping my voice low. ‘Do you think he’s searching for advice on how to help me?’

I picture Paul scouring the internet, perhaps looking for local therapists. After all didn’t Olivia say I needed professional help? Perhaps she has spoken to him. She has emergency contact details for all of us, and I gave Paul’s mobile number. You never think at the time you give this information, that it’ll ever have to be used.

‘No, I don’t mean it like that,’ Rebecca says quickly, shaking her head. ‘I just mean, that perhaps he’s worried that something more is going on with you, and he might be trying to see if there’s anyone who can help, if it gets to that stage. You know what Dad’s like, always thinking ahead.’

I press my hands into my thighs. Rebecca’s words repeat on loop inside my head.

‘Yeah, I do,’ I say, and look at my half eaten sausage roll.

I push it around on my plate with my knife, the sound of the metal scraping on the plate, echoing in my head.

‘If you’re that bothered about it, ask him,’ Rebecca says. ‘He won’t mind. It’s probably just one of his old mates from school getting in contact with him again. I’d be on the phone non-stop if an old friend decided to get back in contact with me, wouldn’t you?’

‘Well, I did ask him, and he . . .’

He said exactly what Rebecca told me, that he was speaking to a friend, and yet, there was something in his eyes that didn’t quite make me believe him.

I can’t be bothered to finish the rest of my sausage roll. I’ve made things worse coming out with Rebecca this afternoon. A nasty thought enters my head, which makes my body go cold with shock. What if Paul’s working with William?

Fuck it. I’m going to have to make Hayley talk to me. She can’t keep me in the dark like this if there’s something she knows.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend