Me. Her. Him - Chapter Seven

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

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My cup of coffee is warm in my hands as I raise it to my lips. Memories of last night prickle my conscience. Paul hardly spoke to me, and spent most of the evening on his phone, texting. When I asked him who he was talking to, he looked up sharply at me, as though I’d interrupted an important meeting. I finish my coffee, scamper around the house to make sure all the doors and windows are locked, grab my stuff and leave.

Again, when I get to the car park outside work, I glance around for any sign of William, my spine tensing. At least it isn’t raining, that’s a plus. He isn’t here. Keep your head high, back straight, and don’t think about it.

‘Angela.’ Olivia calls me as I emerge from the kitchen carrying a mug of coffee, which I nearly spill as she shouts; she’s leaning out of her office door. Can’t she wait for me to at least get settled at my computer first? ‘Have you got a moment?’

I take a sip of my drink as I stride over to her office, in a desperate bid to try and wake myself up a bit more, closing my eyes as the coffee rushes down my throat; it’s like I’m being summoned to the headmistress’s study.

I shut the door as I enter her office, breathing in the nutty, chocolatey scent of my coffee.

Olivia frowns as she sits back at her desk

‘God you look awful, is everything okay?’

If someone asks me if I’m okay again I’m going to scream.

‘I didn’t get any sleep last night, but I’m fine, honest. Once I’ve finished my coffee I’ll be right as rain. You know me; sometimes I can’t function of a morning without caffeine.’ I laugh.

Her eyebrows pinch together. I glance over to the window and picture myself running out of the building, leaving all of this behind me and just going somewhere, anywhere that’s away from all of this.

Olivia picks at something in her eye. ‘Well, I had a chance last night to consider our options and I’ve decided I’m going to offer the position to William. We’ve had the ad up for far too long now and William’s the only one decent enough I’ve really considered.’

A lump bobs up and down in my throat. I take a sip of coffee to try and shift it.

‘If that’s your decision, I’ll support it,’ I say, eyeing her office door out of the corner of my eye, I could do it; I could run and start a new life. I indulge in this private fantasy inside my head, it would be impossible of course. I couldn’t live my life without Paul and Rebecca.

‘Angela, please take a seat,’ she says.

It feels as though something’s pressing down hard on my brain as I sit, like an obedient dog. I hold onto my coffee tight, imagine it breaking in my hands, a deep crack running across the outside surface.

‘I know you don’t think I should offer the role to William,’ she says. ‘You pretty much told me that yesterday. But I can’t see anything wrong with his CV, or him. So if you can enlighten me about something you might’ve found out about him, then please, tell me, before I call him and offer him the position. At least, at this moment in time, we can nip this in the bud now. I don’t want to be sitting here in three months’ time and to then be told this was a terrible mistake. I need you to tell me what’s wrong.’ 

Nip this in the bud now, her words roll around inside my mind. As if it was that easy.

‘I’m sorry, Olivia, I just wasn’t feeling well yesterday, that’s why I reacted the way I did in the interview. It’s why I didn’t sleep last night. If you want to give the role to William then that’s fine with me, I’ve got no problem with it. I think I preferred Claire, but that’s just my preference.’

It’s better to say nothing.

Olivia shakes her head. ‘But you were fine up until William came into the room, well there didn’t seem to be anything bothering you up until then, you certainly weren’t under the weather. There was something about him that had an effect on you, Angela. Do you know him? Do you have some sort of history?’

There’s a burning sensation in the tips of my fingers. Her questions are getting more forceful now. They’re like a slap in the face each time she speaks.

‘No, I don’t know him. I’ll admit, I thought he was someone I knew once, when I was in my twenties, someone who I had a quick fling with, but I was mistaken.’ I let out a slight laugh. Someone who I had a quick fling with; all sorts of pictures are going to be flashing through Olivia’s mind now.

‘Right, so you thought you knew him,’ Olivia says, not sounding convinced by my answer. ‘But you were pretty insistent with me yesterday that I should not give the job to him. Angela, I need you to tell me what’s wrong. It’s okay, you can trust me.’

‘Look, I don’t know for certain that it’s him, okay, but, he just really reminds me of someone who, who wasn’t particularly nice to me when I was young. I haven’t seen him for twenty years though, that’s the problem.’ I turn my attention to the cabinet against the left hand wall. My eyes fall on the picture of a younger Olivia on graduation day, standing in between her parents; I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a big smile on her face. I rub my nose.

Olivia seems to be evaluating what I’ve said. ‘Okay, but surely if you think he is someone from your past, we could ask him, and if he says not, then that’ll put this matter to bed.’

‘But he’ll lie,’ I hiss.  

‘Why would he lie about knowing you, Angela?’

Now I’ve shot myself in the foot. ‘I can’t tell you . . . I can’t.’  

Olivia looks up at the ceiling then back at me and lets out an exasperated sigh. ‘Well, Angela, if you can’t give me a specific reason why I can’t give the job to him, then I’m afraid there’s nothing much more I can do. I don’t want to make things awkward for you here, Angela.’

‘He stole from me, years ago,’ I say, the words escaping from my mouth before I can stop myself.

It’s all I can tell her. At least it might stop her asking. I tap my foot on the floor as I wait for her to reply. God, I want her to say something. Get this over with. Put me out of my misery.

‘Okay, I’ll give William a call this morning. I do think he’s the best person for the job, but I’ll ask him if he knew you when you were young, and if he says not, then there shouldn’t be a problem, should there, Angela?’

But I know it’s him. My earlier words repeat on loop inside my head. He’ll lie. Olivia’s so keen to give him the job she’ll see past that.

‘No . . .  there shouldn’t be,’ I say. I twist my wedding ring on my finger. ‘If that’s all you wanted to see me for I’ll get some work done.’

‘Thank you, Angela.’

I don’t look back at Olivia as I leave.

I glance back towards Olivia’s office as I log onto my computer, she’s on the phone. She’ll be talking to him. The smile on her face pretty much confirms she’s congratulating him right at this moment. He’ll feign shock when she asks him if he once knew me. There’s no way Olivia will be inclined to investigate any further if he says no.

There’s a little devil on my shoulder whispering to me my time is up and cackling in my ear.

Perhaps if I’d listened to my first instinct years ago, I wouldn’t be in this mess now, but instead I’d listened to Michelle. I reach out to rub my cheek, as though the dirt is there again, mixed with blood. In my head it’s dried up, and become a part of me, seeping into my veins like a poison. I must’ve taken about ten showers afterwards, and yet still, I felt as though I hadn’t got rid of all the dirt, or the smell. Part of me died that day.

I look back to my computer screen and do my best to push the images as far back into my mind as I can.

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Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend