Part one is complete... Next, the distraction. Followed by the chase and if all works out as planned, it will be a leisurely walk back to camp.

It was clear these people sought my exit from the park but without an alternative, there was no way I could let that happen.

After having retrieved her walking stick, I began the journey up the trail in the opposite direction of my camp. Turning away, I walked even farther out.

I then came to a place I thought might have been an old trail. I gave it further inspection and decided this was the place. I could see bits and pieces of the old trail sporadically showing itself on the forest floor. Purposely I crashed through the bushes not at all my usual careful approach. This created a very legible track of disturbed chaos.

I came to a tiny clearing that seemed to mark the end of the old trail.  I then took some evergreen branches and laid them haphazardly over a cedar tree to make it look like a semi-camouflaged fort. 

Then I took the walking stick and placed it inside the makeshift fort. I pushed the end of the stick into the ground.

Last but not least, the final touch. I pulled the folded Alpha Ghetti label out of my pocket and took the pen in my right hand.

On it, I wrote a short note stuck it to the top of the walking stick and stepped back to observe my handy work. 

The result was what I was looking for. A place that looked like a homeless camp.

Carefully I retraced my steps back to the main trail, then proceeded to the place where I first saw the lady with the walking stick out on the trail to Skunk Cabbage City.

I didn't know whether or not I would see her there this evening but, I would come back every evening until I did.

I arrived in the general area where I had first seen her. I could tell by the smell of the skunk cabbage not far from my location I was where I needed to be.

I sat on a log and waited for the telltale signs of people approaching. It seemed like forever, the sun was going to sink soon and the light would fade. I was about to give up when I heard a loud crack, a scape and a slide followed by the sound of an animated conversation.

I watched expectedly poised for action. I could see through the foliage, it was the walking stick lady and her chunky son.

I slipped from the trees and back onto the trail slowly walking in their direction. I shuffled along and hung my head down as if I had nothing better to do.

They rounded the corner so I gave them a look of surprise. I turned around and started to walk quickly away.

Not so fast that they couldn't get a glimpse of me at every bend but fast enough to keep me ahead.

Predictably they followed.

Soon I came upon the small trailhead I'd just created and waited for them to come around the corner again.

I may not be the most credible liar but, I knew how to act when they came around the bend. I shifted my head back and forth as if to look for someone following me.

I pretended not to see them until they came closer.  Then I turned my eyes upon them and gave them a frightened look.

I jumped onto the trail allowing them to see the tail end of me turn into the forest. I ran as fast as I could down the trail.

Arriving at the site I zipped behind a large boulder collected some hand-sized rocks and waited. Crash and bang came my two pursuers. For people concerned about the homeless wrecking the park, they didn't seem to mind busting through it.

"I told you there was homeless around here. That girl is one of them" the walking stick lady said. "Look see? One of their camps."

Ok Mom, yes you told me." He replied annoyingly. I could hear footsteps, little twigs and the light swish of legs moving against each other.

A deaf person could hear a chubby son. He was breathing hard, shuffling and talking under his breath.

"Son come over here and look at this," his mother said.

I looked down at the pile of rocks I'd gathered and selected one for best throwing, the last couple of rocks to follow. Then I made myself ready for my next move.

"It's my damn walking stick!  What the hell is iy doing here and what's that on top?" She yelled. 

"Take it easy Mom I'll bring it out," her son said. Shifting my weight to my legs I tensed.

As soon as he came out of that shelter, I fired a rock. The rock landed between them and just behind with a resounding crack!

That's what happens to wood when it dries out. Bounce a rock if, it sounds like gunfire when it hits.

"I heard that this morning.  A couple of times it scared me like it's scaring me now!" The walking stick lady looked shaken up so I fired another rock.

It dropped farther back and bounced off a boulder. Immediately I fired another to make it sound like more than one person was out there. It landed over to their left.  CRACK!! That was it. They both turned around and hi-tailed it out, walking stick and Alpha Ghetti label in hand.  I caught a last-minute glimpse of the two of them heading back up the trail.

I could see my chubby son's belly bouncing up and down looking as red and shiny as a tomato. A joke my friends told me crossed my mind and to my shock, I finally GOT THE PUNCHLINE!! At the time, my friends shook their heads with disgusted smiles on their faces. Because I just didn't understand the joke...now I did. I clamped my hand over my mouth so hard I left my hand prints on my cheeks. The howl of laughter was trying to get out and I almost lost the battle. Finally, I was sure they couldn't hear me and I cut loose.  The first true belly laugh I've ever had and I just couldn't stop it.  All my stress, worry and fear drained with my laughter. The joke was:

"Do you know what a dickdo is?"

"That's when yer tummy sticks out farther than your dickdo" 

I howled!  Peals of laughter escaped me. I just couldn't stop it. I was laughing at my naivete too. I didn't get the joke right away. The whole thing was just killing me.

I walked back to my campsite still chuckling away and thinking it was a most successful evening.

I decided to eat my last apple as a reward.

Oh...and the note on the Alpha Ghetti label? It said:

"I think you made a wrong turn. Don't forget your stick!"Never mistake a homeless person for stupid...