Satire Script posted September 2, 2023

Chapters:

1 2 -3- 4...

Excellent

a scene with Pons and Ned

A chapter in the book Scenes at a Third Party

Scene at a Third Party 3

by Bill Schott

Characters Pons Maninoff = Vice Presidential candidate Zora Abebe = Presidential nominee Skar  = Pons' clone DED = Angel of Death  AB  (Abracada Brah)  = Dirty Tricks Coordinator MauMau= campaign manager C4 (Campaign Aide 4) C5 C6 ------------------------------------------------------- Previously, Pons had offered up his clone, Oscar Kilo (Skar), to Zora Abebe for the third party nomination.    This scene focuses on the first meeting at her campaign center. People are grouped on both sides while the speaking characters are at center.   The scene opens in a campaign room filled with people. A large banner reads:     ZORA ABEBE for PRESIDENT. (The Revolution will be of Color.)    Skar  : (Looking at the banner and speaking to Pons)  The revolution will be of color? What's that supposed to mean?   Pons : I was just on Google this week and according to the U,S, Census Bureau, the United States is projected to become a 'minority white' country by 2045.  By then, Whites are expected to be less than 50% of the population. Hispanics 25 %, Blacks 13%, Asians 8%, and multiracial groups 4%.   Skar  : What about clones?   Pons : Clones would show up across the board, I guess.   Skar  : We have to work harder on that multiracial number. I'm willing to put in the work. I might go introduce myself to some likely -- candidates.   Skar wanders off.   MauMau: (stepping up to Pons) Hello, Skar. I am MauMau. I am the law here.  You will do what I say and I will put Zora in the Big House and you in the rose garden shed.   Pons : Well, hiya. uh -- Mouse was it?   MauMau: I am MauMau. I am the law here.   Pons : (studying MauMau for a second or two)  Well, Mama, my name is Pons. Skar is walking about looking to raise percentage points.   MauMau: You are the clone. Not a real person.   Pons : (chuckling) Actually, Maui, clones are real people too.   MauMau: No, a clone only counts as a half a person, if that.   Pons : Wow! You are a real piece of work, Meemee.   MauMau: I expect Zora will heed my advice and squeeze you out.   Pons :  Kinda like a turd, huh. Oh, by the way, Skar is the clone. He really enjoys talking with enlightened folks like you. I'll tell him what you said; he'll want a word, I'm sure.   Zora :  (calling from behind Pons)  Skar!   Pons : Hi, Zora. I'm Pons.   Zora : (giggling) You two are so much alike; how do I tell you apart?   Pons :  I laugh at jokes; Skar retells them with his perceived improvements.   Zora : What did MauMau have to say to you?   Pons : Who's that?   Across the room, Skar meets up with Abracada Brah.   AB  : Hey, hey, hey! You must be that clone, Scary, I'm Abracada Brah.   Skar  :  (looking to see if he was kidding) Oscar Kilo. Skar for short.   AB  : Cool, cool, cool! Let me tell you about my plan to destroy the LorDee campaign.   Skar  :  Destroy? That seems a bit hyperbolic, Abby.   AB  : You can call me Brah, bruh.   Skar  :  What do you have in mind?   AB  : First we start the rumor that Lordee is having Ned's baby.   Skar  :  That seems a bit mild, bruh.   AB  :  Really?   Skar  :  Yeah. I think we say that LorDee has appropriated another culture.   AB  : How so?   Skar  :  I saw gold lam'e and avocado clothes in her closet.   AB  : What a poser!   Skar  :  She has removable gold tooth veneers and a weave wig in her bathroom.   AB  : What a cracker!   Skar leaves Abracada Brah sputtering to himself, then notices Pons and Zora standing next to the exit. He moves across the length of the stage to where they are.   C4: (jumping in front of Skar, blocking his way)  Booyah!   Skar jabs the stranger in the solarplexius, who then drops to the floor.   C5: (from behind Skar) Hey! That's my --   Skar spins around and rams his elbow into the starnger's jaw, who then collapses.   C6: (placing his arms akimbo and smiling)  Well Hi! So happy to meet you!   Skar ignores C6 and moves toward Pons.   Pons : Hi, Skar!    Skar : Hey dude.   Pons : I see you were making friends over there.   Skar  : I'm a people person.   Pons : I imagine those campaign workers will want to talk again.   Skar  : Hope so.   The scene goes dark except for the center where Zora now stands with DED.   DED : You are looking well, Zora.   Zora : Is this an official visit, or can you stay for a while?   DED : I'm in no hurry. I will be leaving eventually with one of your staff members and a gentleman crossing the street against the light just outside.    Zora : Is it a paid staff member or a volunteer?   DED : Neither will be a volunteer.   Zora :  You have some wit for an Angel of Death.   DED : I do kill.   Zora begins laughing. It builds to a maniacal pitch. Then -- lights out.       To be continued...         Write A Review Image from Google Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.