| General Fiction posted August 18, 2023 | Chapters: |
...22 23 -24- 25... 
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More shenanigans in the final match
A chapter in the book Saving Mr. Calvin
Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 20B
by Jim Wile
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.| Background A story about the origin and the future of the game of golf |
See Author Notes for the list of characters and unfamiliar terms.
Recap of the past few chapters: The five (which now includes Lotte) begin actively making kolf equipment to sell in a fledgling enterprise. One warm October evening weeks later, Kilian proposes to Arie, and they tell the good news to their folks. Fredrik Papin gives Kilian good advice about his daughter. Lars proposes to Lotte as well and the four are married in a double wedding ceremony.
Through the winter and early spring months, the kids continue making kolven equipment on top of their shepherding duties, and when the weather turns nice, they embark on a journey around Holland, demonstrating the game and selling their equipment. Their journey is a success, and by late summer they end up back in Amsterdam, where they make preparations for a golf competition to be held at the Amsterdam Fair. This includes making a formal list of the rules of the game.
They spend the last nine days before the fair at Oom Gerrit’s house where they construct the 12-hole kolven field that will be used for the competition. Fair day arrives and 16 teams have signed up to play in the competition. Kilian’s team wins their first two matches easily but faces stiffer competition in the third match, which they also end up winning. Now they have only the finals to win to be the overall champions.
They meet their opponents for the final match, and it happens to be the two scoundrels who had attacked Arie at last year’s fair. They are actually nobles named Albert and Diederek. Our heroes get them 2-down through 6 holes, then their opponents cheat by convincing a spectator to kick Rube's drive into a water hazard. However, there was no rule against this and they end up losing the 7th hole.
Previously:
I said, “I know we’re all mad about that result, but we must put it behind us and not let it affect the rest of the game. We should still be able to defeat those klootzaks if we just stay calm because we are the better team. Arie, you especially need to be calm because calmness is needed for holing the ball.”
“I know, Kilian. They just get me so angry. They are scoundrels and cheaters.”
“Yes, they are, but we just need to try to ignore them and keep trying to play our best.”
“I will try. Okay now, Ruben? Go and smash a good one, and let’s win this next hole.”
Chapter 20B
He walked over and started to put his ball down.
“Hey, you big dummy!” said Albert. “We’ve got the honor, so get your ball out of there ‘cause I’m hitting first.”
“Don’t you call me that, cuz I ain’t no dummy!” said Rube. He had been called that before, and it always angered him, but now was not the time for a display of what could happen when Rube was angry, so Lars and I each grabbed him by an arm before he charged, and Lars said to him quietly, “Let it go, Rube. He’s just trying to throw you off and make you start playing badly. Don’t let him. Just ignore him.”
“But I’m not a dummy, Lard. He should’na called me that name.”
“You’re right, Rube. You’re not. He’s the dummy for thinking that. The joke’s on him, right? So just forget about him.”
By this time, Albert had already hit his shot. So, it was finally Rube’s turn. Right when he got to the top of his backswing, Diederek let out a loud fart. The sudden blast caused Rube to flinch, and he topped his shot badly. He looked up and scowled at Diederek, who acted as if nothing had happened.
Arie had finally had it with them and charged right over. “You are the most disgusting pair I have ever seen, and I recognized your ugly faces the moment I saw you. I know your type,” she said, jabbing her finger at them. “If you can’t beat us through skill, you’ll resort to cheating and rudeness to win at any cost. Nobody else acts this way. You are a disgrace to this wonderful game!”
I watched their faces through this tirade, and they seemed to be stifling their laughter, but once she was done, they both burst out laughing at her.
In a silly, high-pitched voice, Albert said, “So, little Awie thinks weah a disgwace, Diedwick. Ahwint you just ashamed of yawself?”
Now I couldn’t take it anymore and began charging over to them, but before I got half way there, I was grabbed by two strong sets of arms and pulled to a stop. It was Fredrik and Gerrit who had come through the crowd to restrain me.
“Kilian,” Fredrik whispered in my ear, “Gerrit and I will handle these two later after the match. I know you have been trying to settle things down, but you need to try harder now and just finish them off. We will take care of them later. You just show that you are better players than they are and beat them at the game.”
“It’s hard, Fredrik. I can put up with a lot, but I can’t stand to hear them talk to Arie that way.”
“I understand. But you need to concentrate on the game now and ignore them as best you can.”
“I’ll try.”
When we got to Rube’s topped shot, we noticed that the ball lay up to its middle in a deep depression the exact size of the ball. It was obvious someone had stepped right on it and mashed it into the ground. No one saw this happen, but we were sure it was one of Albert and Diederek’s no-good friends who had done it. We didn’t bother calling the official because we knew what his answer would be. I did my best to strike the ball out of the hole, but was only able to advance it perhaps 30 paces. After two strokes, that still put us well behind our opponents’ ball that lay just one, about 100 paces ahead. We could not recoup in time and ended up losing this hole as well to even the match.
And now we came to the 9th hole, the little one-shot hole with the pond surrounding it on three sides. I felt we had a good chance to win this hole because I was a far more skilled striker than Diederek, who would be striking it for their team. The wind had begun to pick up on the last hole, and was blowing fairly hard from behind. That would make it even more difficult to keep a ball on the green. Still with the honors, Diederek used his striker, but his shot was too low, hit hard, and rolled off the back and into the water below. “Stront!” he bellowed.
Then it was my turn, and I stood with the ball way up in my stance opposite my left toe to be able to hit it as high as I could with my middler. I hit a good shot, but the wind kept it from attaining the height I desired, and even though it hit toward the front of the green, it still bounded over the back and down into the water.
It was Diederek’s turn again, and he put down another ball. This one was a little higher than his last one and came down in the middle of the green, but again it went bounding over and down the hill into the water. We might be here all day trying to put one on this green.
I had a sudden idea. “Rube, come here for a second.” He and Arie and Lars all came over then. “I don’t think I can keep it on this green with a middler the way the wind is now. I need to be able to hit the ball a lot higher so that it comes down more steeply to have any hope of that. If you were to smash a lifter as hard as you can, do you think you can hit the green and not fall short and go into the water in front?”
This was too much for Rube to digest. He turned to Arie and said, ”What did he just ask me, Miss Arie?”
Arie patiently explained it to him again so that he could follow it. When she was finished, Rube thought for a few seconds. “I dunno, Kilian. It’s awful far for a lifter. And Miss Arie told me not to swing too hard.”
“Ruben,” said Arie, “remember in our last match when I asked you to swing easier unless we really needed you to swing hard?”
“Sorta’.”
“Well, this is one of those times. We need you to swing that lifter as hard as you can and hit it way up in the air. I know you can do it. I know you can. Will you please try?”
“A course I will, Miss Arie. I’ll really whale on this one.”
“And one more thing.” She then tore a pocket off her tunic and ripped it into two pieces. “Put these into your ears so you won’t hear anything if they make noise during your swing.”
He shoved them in and said, “Thank you, Miss Arie,” rather loudly, as one does when he can’t hear himself.
Rube placed his ball high on a tuft of grass and gripped the lifter that Lars handed to him. Then, with as powerful a swing as I have ever seen him make, he struck the ball so hard and high that it seemed like it would never come down but would float away on the wind. But it flew the distance, came almost straight down on the very front edge of the green, and stopped dead in its tracks. One pace shorter, and it would have struck the slope in front and rolled back into the pond, but he had just enough on it to make the ball stop. It rested but six paces from the hole.
The crowd went wild with this shot. “Ruben. You did it!” cried Arie. “I’m so proud of you. What a wonderful shot you just hit,” she said as she hugged him around his waist.
Lars and I both pounded him on the back with congratulations. Rube was delighted with himself. No one but Rube, with his strength, could have pulled off this shot, and we let him know it.
With two balls already in the water, our opponents were now playing their fifth shot, which included two penalty strokes. We already lay on the green in three and could expect Arie to hole the ball with two more strokes, giving us a five on the hole. That meant that, unless our opponents could hole their shot from here for an improbable tie, we would win the hole.
Seeing what Rube had just done with a lifter and having seen what the middler did in both Diederek’s and my hands, Albert decided to take a crack at the shot with his lifter. But he was no Rube, and his shot fell woefully short into the middle of the pond. At that point, they conceded the hole to us. We were in the lead again by one with three holes left to play.
The wind continued to pick up, and we could see dark clouds beginning to move our way, signaling an approaching storm and creating a sense of urgency to finish this round and get under shelter. We moved to the starting area of the 10th hole, and with the honors again, Rube struck a good one, but he was hitting into the teeth of the wind this time, and the ball did not go nearly as far as his usual smashes. Now it was Albert’s turn, but he failed to place a ball down, and we saw him and Diederek seemingly arguing with each other.
After another minute’s delay, the rules official said to them, “Gentlemen, time is of the essence. There is a storm brewing, and we must try to finish quickly now. Will you kindly place a ball down and strike it?”
“That is the problem, sir,” said Albert. “We used our last ball back there, and we have none to play with.”
“Hmm, uh… “ He pulled out his rules and quickly scanned them, but saw none to cover this situation. “Hmm, well… it seems I must make a ruling. If you cannot come up with a ball, then you must forfeit the match to your opponents.”
“We’ll get one,” said Albert.
Right then, I saw Arie rooting through our ball bag and surreptitiously passing a few balls to her papa. I wondered what was going on as a light rain began to fall.
Albert said, “Diederek, why don’t you go back to the pond and fish one of our balls out from the far bank where the wind made them float to. I can see the two you struck from here.”
“But I will have to wade through this swamp back here to get to them. I don’t even know if I can get through it,” said Diederek. “Why don’t you go get yours.”
“I can’t. I see it out there in the middle of the pond stuck against some debris there in the water.”
“Well, wade out and get it!”
“It’s too deep, you ninny, and I can’t swim. Go get one of yours!”
“Gentlemen,” said the official. “You have five minutes to fetch a ball. I suggest you quit arguing and go fetch one.”
“Excuse me,” said Arie, approaching them with our ball bag. “I think I have a solution. We are willing to let them borrow one of ours to keep playing. We do not want to win this match by forfeit.”
“That is very generous of you, young lady. Gentlemen, I suggest you take her up on the offer.”
“We are down to only two balls ourselves,” she said, “but they are welcome to one of them.” She pulled the two balls out of the bag and offered them to Albert and Diederek. They were a dirty, extra-scruffy-looking ball and the beautifully smooth one Rube had made a year ago.
“There’s not much of a decision here,” said Albert. “This one is all beat up, so we will take this one,” he said, taking the smooth, beautifully round ball from her. Thank you.”
“Our pleasure,” said Arie. I could see her holding back a smile.
What an incredibly brilliant and quick-thinking girl my wife was! Very cute too. She walked back and rejoined our group, and I whispered to her, “Well played.”
“Thank you,” she whispered back. I put my hand around her waist and drew her close as we stood and watched Albert put the beautiful ball down and strike it. The ball shot away and flew high into the wind, but 60 paces out, it took a sudden dive and came almost straight down. Albert and Diederek looked at this in wonder, as did the rest of the crowd of spectators.
“Must have hit a real gust up there,” said Albert weakly to Diederek. “Damn wind!”
The four of us looked at each other and could barely keep from laughing out loud as we picked up our kolfs and advanced toward Albert’s ball.
“Didn’t I tell you this would come in handy one day, Ruben?” said Arie.
“That you did, Miss Arie.”
This time, it was Diederek who swung hard with his middler but failed to advance the ball more than another 50 paces as the wind continued to pick up. It took him another shot still to reach Rube’s first one. We heard Diederek say to Albert, “Why does that damn wind blow so hard every time I strike the ball?”
“It wasn’t any harder than usual. I think you topped that one so badly that it flew up from the hard ground and died.”
“I didn’t top it. I hit it squarely. It was the wind, I tell you!”
They continued arguing with each other as we advanced to Rube’s smash, where I proceeded to strike our ball to the front of the green. It took them two more strikes to reach the green, where they now lay five strokes to our two. Arie stroked a beautiful shot to within one foot of the hole, at which time they conceded the hole to us. After 10 holes. we were two holes up with two left to play. We would need only a tie or win on either of the two remaining holes to win the match.
(To be continued...)
 Recognized |
Dutch words
klootzaks: assholes.
stront: curse word meaning shit
kut: vulgar term for lady-parts
CHARACTERS - 2032 California
Kevin Parsons: The narrator of the story. He is a 28-year-old mechanical engineer living in Santa Barbara, CA.
Paul Putnam: A good friend of Kevin who is an electrical engineer.
Ernie (Dumbo) Dumbrowski: Another good friend of Kevin who is a computer genius.
Art Calvin: An old, retired golf course architect whom the boys meet one day while golfing.
CHARACTERS - 1247 Holland
Kilian Pauls: A 14-year-old shepherd boy in 1247 Holland. He is the narrator of this part of the story.
Arie Papin: A 13-year-old farmgirl in 1247 Holland.
Lars (Lard) Jansen: A fellow shepherd boy and friend of Kilian.
Ruben (Rube) Meijer: Another shepherd boy and friend of Kilian.
Fredrik Papin (Dhr Papin): Arie's father
Mevr Papin: Arie's mother
Lotte Papin: Arie's younger sister
Frans and Hennie Papin: Arie's little brothers
Oom Gerrit Papin: Arie's uncle (Fredrik's brother)
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. klootzaks: assholes.
stront: curse word meaning shit
kut: vulgar term for lady-parts
CHARACTERS - 2032 California
Kevin Parsons: The narrator of the story. He is a 28-year-old mechanical engineer living in Santa Barbara, CA.
Paul Putnam: A good friend of Kevin who is an electrical engineer.
Ernie (Dumbo) Dumbrowski: Another good friend of Kevin who is a computer genius.
Art Calvin: An old, retired golf course architect whom the boys meet one day while golfing.
CHARACTERS - 1247 Holland
Kilian Pauls: A 14-year-old shepherd boy in 1247 Holland. He is the narrator of this part of the story.
Arie Papin: A 13-year-old farmgirl in 1247 Holland.
Lars (Lard) Jansen: A fellow shepherd boy and friend of Kilian.
Ruben (Rube) Meijer: Another shepherd boy and friend of Kilian.
Fredrik Papin (Dhr Papin): Arie's father
Mevr Papin: Arie's mother
Lotte Papin: Arie's younger sister
Frans and Hennie Papin: Arie's little brothers
Oom Gerrit Papin: Arie's uncle (Fredrik's brother)
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