Partners in Grace

Our second year of marriage and another child meant it was time to find a new place with more room. I was a full-time student in college and had a full-time night job. We didn't have a big budget. We settled on renting an old house in Arlington. Unfortunately, it turned out rats were living there before us. They started throwing hints, but one day my wife was vacuuming the living room and one jumped on her vacuum!

As soon as I could graduate from school, we decided the rats could have the house back. It was a scary time, and we were afraid for the kids. Eventually we moved near the DFW airport where I took on a part-time job in airfreight with one of the airlines. It turned out to be a good move in more ways than one, since we could fly on standby.

Another part of our life that scared me was how Mary would suddenly have a seizure. But I was even more scared for her because of the medicine she was doped up on going back years ago. The doctors and all the past exams couldn't find anything neurologically wrong with her. They had no explanation for her seizures. The resulting decision was to put her on a strong dose of phenobarbital and dilantin.

Somedays her pupils dilated to the point I couldn't see the blue in her eyes. A few times I would come home to find the neighbors watching over her because she had a seizure. I decided to pay more attention to how she was breathing. I hated what the drugs were doing to her. They were more harm than good.

One day I was with her, enjoying our family, and I noticed how she took sharps breaths to the point of panting. It was like she fought the deadening effects of pills.

She was nearly in tears, trying to catch her breath. "I don't know what to do. I will never be able to get a license to drive, but I'm more afraid of being alone with our babies and having a seizure!"

I read the panic on her face. It was time to stop, drop, and pray--then act!

I shared my experience with Mary about how I once had carbon monoxide poisoning over a long-distance drive with a bad muffler and a hole in the floorboard. After the incident, I developed a habit of hyperventilating. Then a smart doctor figured it out by testing the oxygen in my blood from an artery. Painful! Absolutely! But worth the discovery.

It was one of those miracle moments. I believe with all my heart God had brought me through that experience to be there for Mary. Sometimes miracles happen through providence and the relationships we gain.

I saw firsthand what the so-called medicine was doing to her. Mary and I flushed it all down the toilet. Then I looked at her and said, "By God's grace I'm going to see those pretty blue eyes of yours again, and you won't have another seizure."

My wife took that step of faith with me. She learned how to adjust her breathing. Like they say, "Keep calm and trust God." From that day forward she never had another.

A few years later I took her to her first driving test. She passed with flying colors on the first try! As she ticked off each year she realized I was the kind of man that didn't want her to feel like a prisoner in her own home. I married a tough woman, and she had the faith and fire to take care of her family.

We used to joke about how some neighbors would think we attended a church where women are kept in their place. Although there were churches like that, we were not part of that extreme. Once, when I was working as an assistant pastor someone who didn't know us said, "I don't like your church or your kind of people. I don't like the men who use the Bible to keep women down."

I smiled and offered a challenge. "Spend a day with my wife, and you might not paint with such a broad brush."

To this present day, we have run a business for over thirty years, and Mary's been at my side for nearly every job. She knows all too well; I've become the one who depends on her. Partners in God's grace!