General Script posted July 20, 2023

Chapters:

-1- 2...

Exceptional

a scene with new prospects

A chapter in the book Scenes at a Third Party

Scene at a Third Party 1

by Bill Schott

I'm posting this again to get this re-started. The second posting will follow directly.     The scene opens on a crowd gathered outside an abandoned mall. Pons and Ned are together in the middle.   Pons: I guess the third-party candidates are arriving here to debate, Ned.   Ned: They gonna decide which one a them's gonna be predsident?   Pons: I guess we'll decide which one has a chance to be selected to be a third-party candidate for President.   Ned: Huh?   Pons: Well, Ned, you know there are two main parties now.   Ned: Yeh, there's the Pajamer Party and the Donner Party.   Pons: No, Ned. There is the Democratic Party and the Republican Party.   Ned: Yeh, I guess we's all too old fer pajamer parties.   Pons: Aren't those for girls, Ned?   Ned: I can't actual say, Pons. I got avited ta one once, when I was a tad, but no one else showed up at the cemetery.   Pons: Ah, right. Too bad.   Ned: I figured that Donner party was the one that nobody invited Rudolf the Reindeer to.   Pons: It was a group that got stranded in the snow and ended up eating people.    Ned: Well then, that's a git-tagetter Rudolf was lucky ta not git avited to. Them deers is nutso.   A limosine pulls up and two women exit. They both walk past the crowd and over near Pons and Ned.    First Woman:  Greetings, Citizens. I am Loralie DeSilva. You may call me Lor'De.   Second Woman: Salam Aleikum, my friends. My name is Zora Abebe.   The two women produce portible microphones and begin debating without further ado.    Lor'de: I would like to be elected as your next president to show you how well I can rule this land. I will be the impartial judge and jury for all matters foreign and domestic. There will be no need for a constantly deadlocked congress, filled with money-grubbing derelicts marking time until they can retire and sell their classified information to the highest bidders. There will be no need for a supreme court filled with thieves and morally corrupt people hiding behind robes for a lifetime appointment. I can do all of that on my own.   CROWD:  YAY!!! LORDEE!!  LORDEE!!  LORDEE!!   Zora: I would like to be elected as your first female black president to show you how well I can run this former slave-holder nation. I will appoint men and women to posts who will ensure reparations are paid, people not-of-color are given the short shrift they have used on minorities, and all women are freed of the bondage of being associated with beer-bellied rednecks, never-missed-a-meal primadonnas, and other elitist white infidels who have not seded authority to their superiors.      Ned: Yay!!   Pons: Uh -- Ned. I think perhaps these women are a bit too extreme for consideration as presidential nominees.   Ned: Well, sure, Pons. At least they ain't lyin' about it.  Ain't tellin' the truth what's missin' nows'days?   Pons: I never realized you were so political, Ned.   Ned: I ain't got polio, Pons, though I kin say my hammies a bin hurtin' lately.   Lor'de: Wait! Aren't you Ned Nuckledd?   Ned: Yes, Ma'am.    Lor'de: You may call me Lor'de, Ned. Perhaps you could be my running mate.   Ned: Well, that there sounds okay ta me.   Zora: Wait! Aren't you Pons Maninoff?   Pons: Yes, Ma'am.   Zora: Is there any chance you have any African American blood in you?   Pons: I had transfusions of blood in the hospital a few years ago in Detroit, Michigan.   Zora:  Close enough. Perhaps you could be my running mate.   Pons: You know, I think not. I do have a clone who might fill the bill though.   Zora: You have a clone?   Pons: Oh sure; they're all the rage. His name is Oscar Kilo. We call him Skar.   Zora:  Close enough. Perhaps he could be my running mate.     To be continued...                                           Write A Review No political motivations here. Just exploring the comedy value. Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.