Forget eating free-range yardbirds. That is SO yesterday. Lab-grown poultry will soon become all the rage. Look out restaurants and grocery stores, here comes the newest fad in Modern chicken. Proponents claim it tastes just like the fowl you grew up on. I say a resounding BS to the max!

About a week ago, the US Agriculture Department actually approved for everyone's dining pleasures the sale of designer chicken constructed from animal cells. Moreover, all you fine connoisseurs of delectable favors, they allowed two companies in California to provide this "unique" production. These manufacturers are Good Meat and Upside Foods.

What is being considered "cell-cultivated," or simply "cultivated," meat does not originate from slaughtered animals anymore than the grass grown outside does. Why is meat seemingly headed in the direction of being "cultivated"? The two excuses presented to date are to reduce the environmental impact of grazing animals, as well as to eliminate the need for land to grow feed for them on. True repercussions for American farmers to follow, no doubt.

Joshua Tetrick is the co-founder and CEO of Eat Just, the corporation that operates Good Meat. Federal inspectors granted approval for Eat Just to sell "cultivated" poultry in the United States. The FDA, in its shining glory, decided such "luxuries" are safe for human consumption. How would they come to that conclusion, or know what the long-term results of consuming such, for a lack of a better connotation, "delacacies" will be? There remains no data to base their verdict upon. Another meat manufacturer, with the fancy schmancy moniker of Joinn Biologics, was additionally authorized to produce these "cell-cultivated" meats.

All this excitement may lead you to wonder how "cultivated" meat is grown? Try in steel tanks, using cells from live donors, or a fertilized egg, or perhaps even stored cell banks. The meat comes out in large, oversized, sheets. These are formed into shapes that are supposed to be similar to cutlets, nuggets, shredded meats, sausages, and satays. This fancified word describes a Southwest Asian food dish that contains small pieces of meat grilled on a skewer and served with a spiced sauce full of peanuts. FYI, did you know Singapore was the world's first country to allow "cultivated" meat sales?

Fortunately, "cultivated" meat is not expected to be available in US grocery stores anytime soon in the foreseeable future. This is mainly because it is much more expensive than meat from reliable sources, such as animals raised for that purpose. And, "cultivated" meat can not be mass produced on the same required scale as traditional meat.

So, where do these "cultivated" meat makers plan to serve their creations? In exclusive restaurants to begin with. Though I myself will avoid these enterprises, those in San Fransisco are more than welcomed to devour them to their hearts' content at Bar Crenn. This establishment bills the eatery to be "inspired by a Japanese-style listening bar." Meanwhile, Good Meat's offerings will be available in a Washington, D.C. restaurant. Another one I shall make a concerted effort to refrain from gracing the locality with my presence.

Currently, there are about 150 companies around the globe we reside on that focus on meat from cells. To date, this includes fish, beef, lamb, chicken, and pork. Once cooked, "cultivated" chicken is claimed to be a slightly paler shade than meat from live animal versions. It is also rumored to cook, smell, and taste like pan-fried poultry. Is that discovered in someone's imagination? Just asking.

When a recent Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs research poll was conducted, of the consumers asked, more than 50 percent of respondents answered they were unlikely to proceed and eat "cultivated" meats. Their most frequently provided reaction was the same as mine when I first encountered this unorthodoxy. The "ICK Factor" abounded.

You didn't ask...but.