They always
want parts of me
that I am
not able to give ...
I feel as if
I'm choking
unable to
think correctly
because it's
very overwhelming
and I don't know why
but it takes me
completely by surprise,
every time ...

It shouldn't
because my
thoughts tell me
nevertheless,
showing them
different and wrong
as well,
every day
they are wrong ...
I hate the way
they get so attached
telling me
what I should do.
I'm not theirs,
too many of them
causing nightmares ...

Faceless men
haunt my dreams,
chasing me everywhere
with parts of them
in their hand,
squeezing
and shaking it at me ...
and they're running at me.
I run away from them
and they continue
to chase me anyway.
I cannot let them catch me
I don't want them
any of them.
I have the man
that I want
and he's forever my always...

Such as nights
are for me,
more often than not
and if I wake up
without puking
I'm doing real good
I'm thinking for real ...
I haven't even
told my best friend
and beyond
about this one thing
but I may as well
because his
emotional support
is a key element
for me to begin
to heal and move forward ...

I know why
these nightmares
haunt me so
and it's because
I haven't let
that lifestyle go ...
My need to eat, pay bills
and pay my rent
is above the faith
I should have in being set free
It's set in fear of
one day becoming homeless
again or being a burden
to my hero
who promised me
I would never
be without
a place to belong again ...

Lord, please
get rid of
these faceless men
who have nothing
good for me,
except to plague
my dreams
and make them
nightmares that crush.
It's frustrating
as hell to me ...
Give me the strength
I need to
just use my faith
and not my fear on any
decisions I need to make.
Let my faith
override said fear
so with confidence
I can say
"No more" ...