Where Prayers Go

For centuries God's heard the prayers of Man,
And put those many prayers in paper files.
A year ago He came up with a plan
To rearrange the prayers that He compiles.

On Amazon, He bought a new PC,
And stored those many prayers up in the cloud.
He filed those entries alphabetically,
With no more wasteful searching, He avowed.

He had to pick some software up online
To translate all the foreign tongues involved,
So when Saint Paul installed it, things were fine,
And all those language headaches then were solved.

Just recently He finally realized
How handy to have all things in their place.
A folder for the recently baptized,
And now a special file for saying Grace.

The prayers for fame and fortune can be found
Quite easily, along with those for rain.
A discard bin for those on which He frowned
Is filling up with those that were too vain.

As millions fight to gain His Holy Ear,
He uses spreadsheets to collate the mess.
Forgetting some poor soul is His worst fear.
There're far too many prayers He must address.

So, using "Sort" He divvies up the lot,
And picking up a router that's on sale,
He hooks up all the gizmos that He's bought,
And answers all those prayers with group email.