Wild West tales told of nineteenth century 

Outlaws were in and out of penitentiary 

 Stories of western region lawlessness 

Fail to confess what's west of west U.S. 

 No need for pistols they follow the law 

Sketches and water guns are what they draw

Treated like kings, horses like it here best

If you need rest, come to the Mild West

No dueling in conflict, they settle by vote 

Outlaws steal cookies but leave thank you notes

The guilt ridden robber pays back what he takes

With interest and thanks, he returns to the banks

When Jesse Tames and his gang ride into town

Everyone in the saloon gets a round 

Green tea for all, because they don't shoot whiskey

Jesse gets frisky, so whiskey’s too risky

Tamer than tamest outlaws of the West

Fashion sensed Earp brothers dressed in their best

Although their outfits are loud, Can't deny it

Virgil and Wyatt are really quite quiet

Of all the nice folk living in Mild West

He'd rather makes friends over making arrests

When they made this Sheriff they sure broke the mold

His heart, I'm told, is the town’s only gold

Out in the land of the chill, meek, and mild

 Billy The Kid is an actual child

Why get all rowdy when folks need their rest

West of Wild West, a place called Mild west