Humor Fiction posted March 8, 2023


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things need fixin'

Goin' Crazy

by pome lover


Hello, there!

I am going crazy. How 'bout you?

You humans must have a tougher hide than I do, and that's goin' some!

I'm goin' back to my favorite pond where the only buzz is mosquitoes, which I will zap and swallow whole.

Yall got so much crazy business goin' on, you better git a move on to fix it. SIMPLIFY. That's my motto.

If my Prezident accused me of, say ... bein' racist, ya know what I'd do? I'd send the head honcho of one of those cartels an invite to DC and tell him to hie his hide over to 1600 Pennsyvania Ave and tell the Pres. he's come to visit; the perfect place to spend a few days.

If my Prez. said he was raisin' my taxes while sending MY TAX DOLLARS to Ukraine after already sending them millions. I'd say, "Hey, Prez. Why you don't do things - good things for yo own country? You got somethin' against us?" Or maybe I'd say, "Why did you want to be our Prez if you undid all the good things Our former Prez did? You woulda had a breeze of a presidency if you hada left them alone. And here's my main question to you Mr. Prez. Why you want to ruin America, because that's what you're doin?"

And then, I'd prob'ly hafta hop real fast out to my pond 'fo he send me to jail.

But seriously, now, you folks are in real trouble. Why you don't all raise cane? Yell and holler and tell yo congressmen and women you ain't gonna vote them back in office if they don't straighten up and fly right. Elect strong people in yo state to help save this country.

And tell yo teachers to quit teaching bad stuff to those chil'ren. Changin sex ?" what is this world comin' to? What happened to good old common sense?

And what's happenin' with food supplies? And other stuff?

Hey, I jes had a thought. If food gets scarce? If supplies can't come in? And yall get hongry, don't go eatin' me and my friends. I heard the other day that the government is already talkin' about makin' yall eat bugs instead of meat. NOW, that'd be the last straw. You'd be infringin' on my territory. Bugs are my staple, so hands off!

You know somethin'? You folks are smart. Why don't you get up off yo behinds and get yo country back? Think of those few people in Washington. I mean few compared to the whole country-ful of you folks." Land sakes, can't you overpower them? I don't mean violence or anything like that, but you're smart, like I said, so do somethin'!"

"Okay. Now I feel better. Bye, ya'll."

Take care,

Francine















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