I'm planning my own funeral
So you may get it right
Dad will not know who to call
He’ll pick a dress too tight

Do not let Susie do my hair
She screwed it up last time
Get someone from that Fancy Kare
Put on your father's dime

 Don't choose flowers that make me sneeze

Get ones that will survive 
Pick music from the great BeeGees
How ‘bout "Stayin' Alive"

When time to read my eulogy
Don't let my cousin speak
Ten years since she has talked to me
Some secrets she would leak

When read, it may be a surprise
Some things about your mom
I'll know, kids if you roll your eyes
Know where I’m coming from?

Have the obituary show
Newspaper's second page
Use picture from ten years ago
Don’t let them pad my age

If dad finds someone else too soon

Then takes her out to flaunt
Tell him that I'll sing him a tune
When I come down to haunt

While at the cemetery plot
Would you please hold my hand?
And please come visit me a lot
More than head buried in sand

/ And when it's time to bury me
You'll be at my grave sight
My last request is that I'll be
At rest with a night light