Your Brain on Procreation

by Bill Schott

Conrad's father called him into the kitchen.

"Hey, Pop, what's for dinner?"

"Look at this, Con."

The man shows his son a frying pan.

"Wow, that's amazing, Dad."

"Okay, Wiseguy. Watch what I do."

Conrad's dad sets the frying pan on the stove, then cracks an egg into it.

"Isn't that my brain on drugs?"

"No, it is an egg."

"Well, thank you, Dad. I have learned a lot."

"Okay, just shut up and listen. This is the egg that a woman generates when she is ovulating."

"Man! It's big!"

"Right. Okay, here's the egg. Then, here comes your sperm."

The man tosses in a handful of shrimp, fashioned to look like spermatozoa.

"Yeah! My sperm are colossal!" shouts the boy.

"Okay, okay, Con. Here's my point. This is how babies are made."

"I think we do it different now, Dad."

Conrad's dad looks at the boy, and then turns the burner on.

"Did you learn anything here, Con?"

"Sure, Dad. Shrimp omelets for dinner."

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a short story

A chapter in the book Random Rhyme and Petty Prose

Your Brain on Procreation

by Bill Schott

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