General Script posted January 23, 2023

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a script


by Bill Schott

Characters within the BS Universe are still gathered to speak of their plans for their future.  Another person rises from a chair and moves to the center to address the assembly.
Hed: Greetings, Others. I am Hed O'declas. I am known as the smart cousin. I have been in a few skits with one or more of these fellows. I own Hed's Hat-n-Hand. A lot of these skin-headed chaps buy headwear from me. 

Fed:   (ambles up) Your time's up, Hed. 
Hed: Aren't you supposed to be watching my store?
Fed: I left Med in charge.
Hed: Med?!

Med: The voices are back!
Fed: Med?! Why are you here?!
Med: That's the big Q ain't it, Chico.
Hed: I must leave while I still have a business.
Hed and Fed rush out to the left while Med wanders up to the center.
Med: I'd like to thank the academy.
DED, D-red, and D-zed wander up to the front center together. No one can see them except Ned, so they speak through Med. 
Med(DED gestures while words come out of Med) We are speaking through this entity as you cannot otherwise see us.
The crowd mutters among themselves.
Med(DED speaks) I am Ded, an Angel of Death. My touch ends your life. One of you will be leaving with me today. (D-red speaks)  I used to be Red. I was deemed to be too awful to live, so now I am known as D-red. I collect dead vermin and bugs. 
Cy: Wait, wait! What is going on? 
Ira:  We are witnessing Med having a psychotic break.
Med(D-zed speaks) I was a bald guy named Zed. I was introduced during "Scene at a Hat Store" and later DED collected me during "Scene at a Croquet Tournament".  I now collect dead plants. 
Yet: Is Med putting on some kind of one-man show, or -- what?

Rhet: Well, he is acting, acting out, or possessed by an angel of death and his two apprendices.
Lori: Did that guy say he was the angel of Death?
Lois: I thought he was the guy selling cactus buttons at the door.
Pons: (speaking to Ned) Are these the guys you say are Death and his helpers.
Ned: Yup. DED's wearin' a black hooded robe, D-red's in red, and D-zed is wearin' an orange'n.  
Fox: Well, I'm as confused as a turtle on a tourist bus. I may need another break. What do you think, Felix?
Felix: Well, I think --
To be continued...
Pons: Pons
Ned:  Ned
Hed:  Ned's brainy cousin
Fed:   Hed's rotund cousin
Med:  Fed's pothead cousin
Bed: Med's narcoleptic cousin
GED: Ned's clone
Led: Med's religious cousin
Ped: Led's walking cousin
Baron Aaron: rich baddy
Count Too-ten: rich good guy
Baron Darren: wealthy villain
Count Bi-tooz: well-financed antihero
Cy:    bald with an eye patch
Ira:    bald with an eye tattooed between his eyes
Yet:   bald with a unibrow and a matching mustache
Rhet: bald with a red clown nose and a greasepaint frown
Lori: friend of Fox Fine
Lois: Lori's twin
Fox: friend of Lori's
Felix: Fox's twin
Matt Tell = fun-loving character
Jiffy Gel = simpatico to Matt
DED: Death
D-red: DED Assistant (vermin) 
D-zed: DED Assistant (agri)

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