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a one-scene script with Ged and Ned
A chapter in the book Random Rhyme and Petty Prose
Scene with Ged and Ned
by Bill Schott
Ned and his identical clone Ged are guests on a local morning television show. The host sits between them and all face forward.
Peach: Good morning world. Peach Pitt here with this morning's guests Ged and Ned Nuckledd.
Ned: Atchilly, I'm a Nuckledd. Ged there is mostly a C-rox copy.
Ged: I too am considered a Nuckledd, though I do not embrace the title as vigorously as Ned.
Peach: Fascinating. So Ned, why do you have a clone?
Ned: Well, Pitch --
Peach: Peach.
Ned: No thank ya, Pitch. I had bananer for I got here.
Ged: No, Ned. He is saying that his name is Peach, not Pitch. P-P- Peach like each, not P-P-Pitch, like an itch.:
Ned: Well then, P-P-Peach it is.
Peach: Just Peach would be fine. So, Ned, why do you have a clone?
Ned: It's got a lot ta do wit DED.
Peach: DED? You mean Death?
Ned: Nope, not a'tall. Death is when yer dyin'. DED is a feller.
Ged: He's the Angel of Death.
Peach: So, DED is Death.
Ned: I dun think we're commutatatin' here, Patch.
Peach: Peach.
Ned: Oh yeah -- P-P-Peach.
Ged: So DED lets Ned know his number is coming up and he'll be dead soon.
Peach: Ned will become DED?
Ned: Hey, wouldn't that be a hoot.
Ged: Ghastly thought, but no. Dead like DOA dead.
Peach: So, Ned, you were marked for death?
Ned: Right. So, a cousin a mine, Hed O'daklas, makes me a clone.
Ged: That's me.
Peach: So, you are Ned 2.0.
Ned: No, he's Ged.
Ged: I am known as a general equivalency dude. No, I had nothing to do with the name.
Peach: So, what happened?
Ned: What was s'posed ta happen was DED would show up and take Ged here astead a me.
Ged: I, of course, was unaware of this plan.
Peach: So why didn't DED, take you?
Ned: Seems there was this utter dude whose name was Ned Nuckledd too. He lived over in the next county.
Peach: Imagine that! Another Ned.
Ned: Heck, he might be a clone too.
Ged: Perhaps you were his clone.
Peach: So, folks. There you have it. The Angel of Death gives warnings, Ged is a clone, and
Ned ate a banana.
Peach: Good morning world. Peach Pitt here with this morning's guests Ged and Ned Nuckledd.
Ned: Atchilly, I'm a Nuckledd. Ged there is mostly a C-rox copy.
Ged: I too am considered a Nuckledd, though I do not embrace the title as vigorously as Ned.
Peach: Fascinating. So Ned, why do you have a clone?
Ned: Well, Pitch --
Peach: Peach.
Ned: No thank ya, Pitch. I had bananer for I got here.
Ged: No, Ned. He is saying that his name is Peach, not Pitch. P-P- Peach like each, not P-P-Pitch, like an itch.:
Ned: Well then, P-P-Peach it is.
Peach: Just Peach would be fine. So, Ned, why do you have a clone?
Ned: It's got a lot ta do wit DED.
Peach: DED? You mean Death?
Ned: Nope, not a'tall. Death is when yer dyin'. DED is a feller.
Ged: He's the Angel of Death.
Peach: So, DED is Death.
Ned: I dun think we're commutatatin' here, Patch.
Peach: Peach.
Ned: Oh yeah -- P-P-Peach.
Ged: So DED lets Ned know his number is coming up and he'll be dead soon.
Peach: Ned will become DED?
Ned: Hey, wouldn't that be a hoot.
Ged: Ghastly thought, but no. Dead like DOA dead.
Peach: So, Ned, you were marked for death?
Ned: Right. So, a cousin a mine, Hed O'daklas, makes me a clone.
Ged: That's me.
Peach: So, you are Ned 2.0.
Ned: No, he's Ged.
Ged: I am known as a general equivalency dude. No, I had nothing to do with the name.
Peach: So, what happened?
Ned: What was s'posed ta happen was DED would show up and take Ged here astead a me.
Ged: I, of course, was unaware of this plan.
Peach: So why didn't DED, take you?
Ned: Seems there was this utter dude whose name was Ned Nuckledd too. He lived over in the next county.
Peach: Imagine that! Another Ned.
Ned: Heck, he might be a clone too.
Ged: Perhaps you were his clone.
Peach: So, folks. There you have it. The Angel of Death gives warnings, Ged is a clone, and
Ned ate a banana.
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