Humor Poetry posted October 1, 2022


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In golf not every shot goes ...

Right Down the Middle

by Tom Horonzy


         When I read (past tense)
instructions for this contest,
Hobby Poetry,
the first thought had,
was the four-letter word
I constantly use
if things don't go my way
when I go to play
G-0-L-F!

There was a time
my game was sublime
as I found the center
of the clubface regularly,
which in turn placed my ball
in the middle of the fairway
but today, said ball strays
 causing me to swear.
G-O-L-F!

It also reminded me
of lyrics sung by
Stealers Wheel,
where Gerry Rafferty,
songwriter wrote,
"Clowns to the Left,
Jokers to the Right,"
for either or make up
my foursome.

Nowadays, our shots
are, more times than not,
bi-directional
and should a swing
find the fairway
we count it to be a miracle,
but that is not to be
so we end up cussing
G-O-L-F!

There were other words
our group used to use
until the Lord got annoyed
splitting the fairway in two
with a bolt of lightning
which we collectively
took as a cue
the only acceptable
4-lettered word for God is
G-O-L-F!

From that day on
we have come to enjoy
our walks in the forest
and swims in the ponds,
obeying the signs that read,
"Keep off the Grass"
which is easier since
we no longer hit our shots
"Right Down the Middle"
playing "at" this game called ...
G-O-L-F!



Hobby Poetry Contest writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Please write a poem, any style about a hobby you have (except not about poetry. If you write a regular size poem, it should be around 3-5 stanzas. Thanks for considering entering this contest.


The story you are about to read is almost true to a "tee."
The picture is of Mark, one of our foursome, who wandered too far left to retrieve his ball from a stump, which turned out not to be his. Add a stroke penalty.
NOTE: Please don't be critical in your critique as for all practical purposes was a moment of hilarity for me in writing of this memory.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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