Yes, that's it. Robots.

Robots don't spill secrets
Or mixed drinks,
Jump up and down on the couch,
Speak off the cuff
Or let you down.

Robots are predictable.
Unalterably reliable.

They don't talk too loud,
Buy things you don't need at shopping malls,
Accidentally break your favorite China
Or put too much garlic in your sauce.
They don't miss baskets.
Miss balls.

Robots don't whisper sweet nothings in your ear,
Making promises they can't keep.
They don't show up late, procrastinate,
Disturb you with their snoring
Or talking in their sleep.

They don't sing out of tune
Or argue over little issues,
Forget to take out the trash
Or refuse to walk the dog.

Robots are perfect.
They do exactly what they're programmed to do.
What more could you ask for?

Robots are always there to open doors,
Answer phones, order and deliver groceries,
Do the laundry or wash your car.
Without your even asking them to do it.

Without ever complaining about it.

They never talk back,
Never cheat, never lie.
They don't skip out of town
Or fly away on a whim.

They are just what they seem to be.
Robots.

At your beck and call.
Never wishing they were somewhere else,
Never aspiring to better situations.

Robots are the answer to everything.