| Humor Flash Fiction posted August 31, 2022 |
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Shall we take a look inside my mind.
The Little Brown Bag
by papa55mike
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Getting home from work, I see it sitting there. The brown paper bag looms on the small table in the foyer where we store our keys. A simple sack that measures four inches by two inches and is eight inches tall with rope handles- what diabolical scheme is Becky up to now?
Slowly, I kneel in front of the table to eye level so I can use my super x-ray vision. I must find out what's in the bag. I saw nothing, focusing all of my mystical powers by squinting my eyes.
Should I just look inside the bag, or is that what she wants me to do - springing her booby trap to blind me? Becky wouldn't do that; it would be too much work for her.
Rising to my feet, I glance inside the bag, and green tissue paper covers the contents. A peculiar scent emanates from the sack, possibly Lavender and Peach. A poison from ancient Egypt, used by the Egyptians to eliminate their enemies, and I'm next.
Taking my mechanical pencil, I push back the paper to peer at the bottom of the bag. The edge of a black case fills the bottom. It must be a case for a flash drive that has the codes to destroy everyone's encrypted memory devices wiping out all data everywhere, crippling the world. No, that would wipe out all of the pictures on her laptop.
Maybe it's the DNA of a creature sent here from another planet to devour the world's inhabitants, making room for her conquering race. Dear Lord, my wife is an alien!
Suddenly, the door opens, and Becky steps in. Her brown hair flashes around her sparkling green eyes, perfectly framing her beautiful face. "Hi, sweetie...Oh, no. Let me guess; you think what's in that bag is something to destroy the world, change humanity into monsters, poison you in some exotic way, and leave me free to rule the world as its Queen. How close am I?"
"Pretty close."
"Well, Bob," Becky picks up the bag and reaches inside. "It's a bar of Lavender and Peach soap. Oh, that's where I put my flash drive. I was going to use the soap tonight and be sexy for you. But since you think I'm trying to kill you, once again, I think it can wait until the weekend. I'm going to start supper," she struts into the kitchen.
I shake my head and say, "Curses, foiled again!"
Getting home from work, I see it sitting there. The brown paper bag looms on the small table in the foyer where we store our keys. A simple sack that measures four inches by two inches and is eight inches tall with rope handles- what diabolical scheme is Becky up to now?
Slowly, I kneel in front of the table to eye level so I can use my super x-ray vision. I must find out what's in the bag. I saw nothing, focusing all of my mystical powers by squinting my eyes.
Should I just look inside the bag, or is that what she wants me to do - springing her booby trap to blind me? Becky wouldn't do that; it would be too much work for her.
Rising to my feet, I glance inside the bag, and green tissue paper covers the contents. A peculiar scent emanates from the sack, possibly Lavender and Peach. A poison from ancient Egypt, used by the Egyptians to eliminate their enemies, and I'm next.
Taking my mechanical pencil, I push back the paper to peer at the bottom of the bag. The edge of a black case fills the bottom. It must be a case for a flash drive that has the codes to destroy everyone's encrypted memory devices wiping out all data everywhere, crippling the world. No, that would wipe out all of the pictures on her laptop.
Maybe it's the DNA of a creature sent here from another planet to devour the world's inhabitants, making room for her conquering race. Dear Lord, my wife is an alien!
Suddenly, the door opens, and Becky steps in. Her brown hair flashes around her sparkling green eyes, perfectly framing her beautiful face. "Hi, sweetie...Oh, no. Let me guess; you think what's in that bag is something to destroy the world, change humanity into monsters, poison you in some exotic way, and leave me free to rule the world as its Queen. How close am I?"
"Pretty close."
"Well, Bob," Becky picks up the bag and reaches inside. "It's a bar of Lavender and Peach soap. Oh, that's where I put my flash drive. I was going to use the soap tonight and be sexy for you. But since you think I'm trying to kill you, once again, I think it can wait until the weekend. I'm going to start supper," she struts into the kitchen.
I shake my head and say, "Curses, foiled again!"
 Recognized |
You never know what little thing will set me off reeling into a universe of conspiracies. Please don't ask me because I have a theory for everything.
Many thanks for stopping to read!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Pays
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and 2 member cents. Many thanks for stopping to read!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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