Julius huddled closer to the tiny fire as it threw flickering shadows over the cave. This high up the bank, the ceiling meant even he could not stand upright but it kept him dry from the trickle of a stream that not so much ran as gently sauntered through the cave. He twisted round, holding the scrap of paper in the firelight so that he could examine the strange sigils written there. Then he took a smouldering stick from the fire and dragged it across the wall, completing a copy of the writing in charcoal. He placed the stick on the packed sand and examined the makeshift mural.

His eyes flicked from paper to wall, paper to wall, the slits of his pupils wide in the poor light. It was, as far as he could tell, perfect. Wait! Almost perfect. There was a dot after the last symbol. Eyes fixed on the spot on the wall where the dot belonged, he groped for the stick. It took a second for him to realise that he was holding the still glowing end. He dropped the stick and grabbed his wrist, expelling air sharply.

"Ffffff--"

On the wall the first symbol glowed golden-red. Julius stared at it, the pain suddenly forgotten. He knew it! He had been right. It was magical. It was an incantation of some sort.

"Ff" he said, and the first symbol glowed again. "Ff. Ff. Ff-ff-ff-ff-ff."

He wrapped his scrawny arms around his ribs and giggled with glee. It was a spell of power. No doubt about it. All he had to do... Julius stared at the long array of symbols and gradually his elation shrank. All he had to do was work out what sound all the other symbols made, and if he guessed them correctly, then maybe the spell would do whatever the spell was meant to do, and maybe it would be something good and wouldn't result in him being turned inside out.

He looked around at the tiny cavern, the measly fire, the total lack of any possessions. Really, what did he have to lose?

"Fr," he said. The first symbol glowed, but the second remained charcoal-black. "Fs. Fee. Fi." He settled himself more comfortably. It was going to be a long night, but what else did he have planned?

Hours passed. Julius only paused to add another stick when the fire became too low to shed light on the graffiti. He tried every sound he could imagine to make the next symbol glow. Then the next. Then the next. Finally he could light up most of the eldritch symbols.

"Faw aw yaw..." He paused. This next one was a difficult one to memorise. Lots of symbols for just three sounds. "Fee-nar-saw needs caw fife fife fife sefen too sis..." He paused as the glowing symbols filled him with fear and excitement in equal measure. The last symbol was the same as some he had already deciphered. "Fife!" he yelled, the sound echoing around the cave. The entire spell glowed golden. He whirled as behind him the fire roared and leapt to the ceiling, the light as brilliant as a lightning strike. The fire dropped as suddenly as it had flared, leaving just glowing embers. Julius blinked against the afterimages, trying to adjust to the gloom.

On the other side of the fire something lay on the ground. Julius stared open-mouthed as it stirred. The figure sat up, blinking and shaking its head.

"Jesus," it said. "What was that? Where the hell - ?"" It looked up and its strange eyes focused on Julius. For a moment the two stared at each other, then the creature screamed. Startled, Julius screamed back. The creature jumped to its feet, smacked its head on the low rock and tumbled backwards down the bank. Julius scrabbled backwards on his backside until he was pressed against the wall. The creature hit the stream, splashed to its feet and pressed itself against the far wall, holding its head in its hands. The two stared at each other. The creature opened its mouth as if to scream again.

Julius threw his arm out, one talon pointing at the creature, and screamed, "Faw aw yaw fee-nar-saw needs caw fife fife fife sefen too sis fife!"

"What?"

The sigils behind Julius remained just charcoal marks. "Faw aw yaw fee-nar-saw needs caw fife fife fife sefen too sis fife!" Julius screamed again, louder this time in case that made a difference.

"For all my financial needs call? Wait. That's the old office number."

"What?"

"Five-five-five seven-two-six-five. We haven't used that in years."

"What?"

"What?"

The two continued to stare at each other. After the initial shock, Julius realised that this creature wasn't as fearsome as he had first supposed. True, it was a good head taller than Julius, maybe more, but it didn't have talons and its teeth looked blunt.

"What are you?" Julius demanded.

"John."

"What?"

The creature shrugged. "That's my name. John"

"You're giving me your name? Just like that? Your real name?"

"Yes. My real name. Why would I lie?"

Julius nodded to himself. The incantation must have been powerful indeed if it had compelled this thing to reveal its true name. With its true name Julius had complete control over this strange creature. A vista of endless opportunities opened up in front of Julius' mind's eye. If only he could fathom what this creature was and what it was capable of.

"Am I dead?" asked John.

"Are you?" replied Julius, unsure himself.

"This is hell, right?"

"Ha! You wish. No, this is the Realm."

John looked around the cave. "Are you sure this isn't hell?"

"Would I live in a cave like this if this was hell?"

John shrugged. "I don't know. I guess, no?"

Julius felt the conversation was in danger of running away from him. He pointed a talon at John and said with all the authority and gravitas he could muster, "John, I command you to tell me, what are you?"

"I'm an independent financial advisor and mortgage broker. You're a demon, right?"

"Of course I'm a demon. You're not?"

"No, I'm - well I guess I'm a human."

"For real?" He'd heard of humans, of course he had, but he'd always assumed they were tales told to frighten children. But he couldn't deny the evidence of his own eyes. And here it was, summoned by Julius alone.

All Julius had to do now was figure out what mystical powers this creature possessed and the Realm was his oyster.

++++

The demon inched forward and threw a few sticks on the glowing remains of a fire. John studied it carefully as it blew on the embers. It was definitely a demon. Even Hollywood couldn't make up a human to look like that, not without a massive amount of CGI. He ran his hand over his head and felt the sticky spot where he had hit his head on the cave ceiling. Maybe he was concussed? Perhaps this was all a dream. But he had hit his head while he was in the cave, looking at the demon. Concussion couldn't give him hallucinations before he hit his head, could it?

It looked a sight less fearsome than the Orcs or Goblins of Hollywood. Not that John was an expert on demons, but this creature looked scrawny and had appeared as scared of him as he had been of it. As the flames caught the wood they lit a face with large cat-like eyes and a mouth of needle teeth. Scrawny or not, he had better try and keep on its good side until he could figure out what was happening and how to get back home.

John pushed forward onto all fours and knelt by the stream. The demon snarled and pointed a claw at him. "Stay!" it commanded.

"I'm just going to clean my head," said John. He slowly dipped a hand into the freezing water, eyes fixed on the demon, then splashed it over his head, wincing at the cold. His hand came back bloody, but not as bad as he feared. After a few handfuls of water the blood seemed to have gone. Just a graze, then, and probably an egg-sized bump and a morning after headache to come. John splashed a couple of handfuls over his face. If this was a dream, it was more realistic than anything he'd encountered before.

"Advisor," said the demon.

John nodded. "Yes. Independent financial advisor."

"You have wisdom."

John shrugged. "Well maybe. I know the markets, for sure, tax schemes, pension benefits anyway."

The demon nodded slowly. "Advisor," he said, as if he was hanging onto the one word he had understood.

"Yes. I advise people on financial matters."

"Fee-naw-saw."

"Financial, yes. I help people make the most of their assets." He saw the blank look on the demon's face. "I help them make more money. You understand money, right?"

The demon nodded slowly, the blank look on its face giving the lie to its answer.

"Well, okay, let me try and explain." How did you explain money to a demon who had never heard of it, never mind the intricacies of Defined-Contribution plans and asset allocation? "Okay. Suppose you want something, and you've got money. Money lets you get the things you want."

The demon sat back and stared. "Power," it said at last.

"Power? Well, I guess it is, in a way. Yeah, money is power."

"And you give this to people."

"Well, not exactly. I just advise them on how to get more. But to be honest, with the financial situation as it is at the moment, I'm doing more of the mortgage broker side."

The demon stared silently at John, and John felt compelled to fill the silence.

"I help people get houses. Mostly when they want to move into a bigger house or a better district, but they don't have the money to hand. I help them get it."

The demon crept forward until it squatted on the other side of the tiny stream. It stared so hungrily at John that he sat back on his heels. The small fire didn't so much illuminate the cave as throw dark shadows around the walls. John could see no escape route, even if he could outrun this monster.

"You make power," said the demon. It raised a claw and pointed at John. "You give bigger caves."

"Well, sort of. Yes."

The demon showed John a wide mouth full of sharp fangs. It took John a few moments to realise the demon was grinning.

"John," it said, "I adjure thee by this sacred text - " It waved a scrap of paper in John's face - "To make me more power and bigger cave. Fee-naw-saw!"

John looked at the scrap. It was a small ad torn from a magazine. Ye gods, when was the last time the firm had advertised in a paper magazine? For all your financial needs... John looked up at the demon's earnest face.

"Wait. You want to be a client?"