I remember there was this swell looking young lady by the name of Cinderella. She was decked out in a lovely blue gown with a low neckline that left little to the imagination. I was a lowly lieutenant in King's Calvary. I wanted to dance with this lovely girl in the worst way. But the haughty Prince Charming had two burly guards block anyone who tried to approach the dazzling young woman. So, I never got an opportunity to dance with her.

However, I devised a plan. After the orchestra played "Good Night Ladies," at a little before midnight, I would make my move as she walked to her carriage and ask her out for an after the dance drink at the Last Chance Pub. As she was hurrying toward the door, I noticed she lost a slipper. When I picked it up, I saw light glimmering through it. How unique, I thought, it must be glass. I chased after her, but four uniformed guards blocked my path.

The captain of the guard said, "Where do you think you're going? Hand over that slipper."

I held the delicate shoe close to my heart and said, "No, I don't think so."

Then out of the corner of my eye I spied the haughty Prince Charming approaching and yelling, "I want that slipper."

I yelled back, "No, sir."

He said, "I order you to give me the slipper."

"No!" I said, "And by the way, you are not being charming."

The prince's face flushed red and his nostrils flared. He said, "Hand it over or else."

"No, sir, I found it. You know your own law says, Finders keepers, losers weepers."

"Fool!" He screamed, "That rule doesn't apply when the Prince is involved."

"The rule does not have an exclusion clause exempting you."

"One last chance, lieutenant, hand it over."

"I don't think so, Prince. It's mine. I found it and I will return it to the young lady."

"Very well, you had your chance." He nodded to the captain, who raised his sword and slit my throat.

Let me give you a tip from the beyond. A slipper in the hand is not worth a slit throat. Even if it might mean a date with the captivating Cinderella.