General Poetry posted July 6, 2022


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This was a grade school writing assignment. It got an 'A'.

Kid

by GeraldShuler

I'm a pretty big man, a large city mayor,
But I felt so small the other day
When I heard a young child's prayer.
The child was kneeling in the park
By an old dead cottonwood tree.
At first all I heard was the following words:
"Lord, oh Lord, forgive me."
I drew a bit closer so I could hear
And I glad now that I did
'Cause the prayer I heard was a tender thing
Concerning a dog named Kid.

"Lord, oh Lord forgive me" the child began
"But, well, I have something to say.
Up til now I've had a dog
But Lord you took him away.
Now Lord, I know that you made all things--
I learned that when I was 'bout three--
But Lord, if you would I'd appreciate
If you told Kid something for me.
Remind him of when he saved Jim's life.
He didn't get the credit.
I told Jim and everyone else
That it was me that did it.
And Lord, if you would you can tell him this--
I will never forget that lie.
It was 'cause of the way Kid saved Jim's life
That the very next day Kid died."

I walked slowly home after hearing this prayer
And thought of the young child's tears.
I've cheated and skeamed to get where I am
But I haven't felt guilty in years.
I'm a pretty big man, a large city mayor,
But I felt so small the other day
When I heard my own child's prayer.



Show us Your Early Poetry writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Share with us one of your oldest pieces of poetry, exactly as you wrote it. I want to see all those excessive ellipses, capitals at the start of every line, the abundance of semi-colons, the pretentious repetition, the unnecessary line spaces that are.....

SO.....

IMPORTANT....

to my art!

I want you to swear on your honour you won't edit it before posting (adding an image is allowed, as we're in Fanstory Land). Other than that, no limitations. For example, I have one in my repertoire entitled 'Political Correctness' that's literally just a blank page (I was a very sarcastic teenager). For a more useful example, here's the first recorded poem I have of mine - my Nan confirmed I was 8 at the time:

The Snow

Quietly the clouds move in,
Looking like the hair of an old person.
Then very slowly,
The dandruff starts to fall.
Everything as still as the sleeping mouse,
Everything as quiet as the forest at night.
Until the morning spreads over the soggy landscape,
And children chant their cheers from their places of rest
As they look at the white floor outside.
And the still and silence is no more.


Show us what you had :-)


I was nine years old when I wrote this. My writing has not improved. My teacher told me the reason she gave me a good grade was because the poem made her cry. She was a very emotional teacher or I wouldn't have passed with this one.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by avmurray at FanArtReview.com

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